Ok so basically I’m up in it. Here’s the story thus far…EQ (aka Everquest) is boring as fuck to me right now, and I am done with school so I need something to amuse myself…therefore the return of the Gospel! Anyway on with the fun!
TODAY’S GOSPEL: MUSIC VIDEOS
So basically my friend moved and in his new house he got digital cable which is pretty uber. The thing that is prally the most uber (aside from horrid HBO style porno) is MTV2! HOLY FUCK ON A WHEELCHAIR RAMP A MTV THAT PLAYS VIDEOS…AND NOT JUST RAP VIDEOS! Well I thought this would be so rad since I got to see the new Weezer video which rocks out to the max. Anyway MTV2 has a show called Rocking Out or something like that. It is a show about Rock videos…good idea in theory, however, for the most part rock videos are not worth watching and here is why in a systematic fashion.
1. Director: Fred Durst. WTF Dude? He basically directs every “rock” video out there now. I like how Korn made this rap metal deal popular on their own so they bring Limp Biscuit up who brings like 808323 other of these bands along, all of whom have Fred Durst directed videos. Now I wouldn’t have a problem with FD directing videos if he made good ones, but too many of them follow in the footsteps of Rock Video Problem #2 which is…
2. Black Suits, Scum Building. Ok why do rock bands have to all wear black suits and play in a decrepid building? Is there a law about this? Some of the worst offenders of this: (ASIDE: Please note that I have no actual clue what half these videos are called) Papa Roach video for “Between Angels and Insects,” Cold “No One,” and some video by a band called Unloco (whatever fuckagon).
3. Fake BSB? Yup a lot of rockers are basically fake Backstreet Boys. It’s true! Don’t believe me? Watch videos by Crazy Town, Linkin Park, and some band called New Found Glory. They are all about spiked hair and pretty boy image, for gobots sake Linkin Park even has a NSYNC beat to it.
Wyatt there must be some good rock videos…surely they can’t all suck can they?
No noble reader, they are not all bad. Here are some of the better ones in my humble opinion.
1. Weezer - “Hashpipe”: even though this is called “H***pipe” on MTV2, the video rocks. Sumo wrestlers, a weezer man looking like Kelso from that 70’s show…its pretty rad.
2. American Hi fi - ????: Whatever their hit is, I hate the song, but the video is pretty funny simply for the numberous 80’s hardrockers in the parking lot.
3. Nonpoint - “What a Day”: Generic post-Korn rock done right. Nice random black singer, thick drummer, and disenfrancised youth rocking out to a Nonpoint performance.
So that is my summary of MTV2 and being able to see rock videos, oh yeah my friend also gets Much Music which is a bizarro Canadian music channel with some odd Asian chick VJ who harasses people on the street, which is pretty boss.
Until next time this is Wyatt signing off.
“Green is the color of grass, and of leaves on the tree….and of Greedo.”
