西洋오랑캐

As you know random dudes occassionally talk to me on the subway due to my being white. These events usually go unreported, because frankly they usually aren’t that interesting, but sometimes the event is so mind bogglingly weird that I have no choice but to write up a report of it.

So I’m waiting for a train with my honey, and some out of breath Korean guy comes up and tries to tell me something in English. He’s clearly drunk, and quite possibly drunk. At one point I thought he was going to throw up on my shoes, but that luckily did not happen.

Anyhow we get on the train, he gets on as well. So he sits down and U-rim sits across from him. I’m standing up as there is no seat for me to have. I have my back to the guy, but he feels it necessary to yell random English at me (”I’m Korean…I don’t know!” “Happy New Year!” ect.)

At one point he taps me on the shoulder and motions for me to watch him. He then proceeds to do some gymnastic manuvers on the handrail that people hold while standing on the train.

At one point some seat opened up and some girl told her boyfriend not to move over because then I would sit down and the guy would see me and not shut up. So I continued standing…the drunk guy came over and asked me how to say “닥쳐!” in English…I tell him it’s “Shut up!” He thanks me and sits down again.

Finally it’s his stop. He makes some superhero-esque dash out the door and then sticks his head back through the doors to explain to the guy standing by the door that it only took him one second to get out of the train…I thought he was going to get crushed in the doors, but that somehow did not happen…