Since I haven’t had a lot of really strange adventures as of late, I thought I’d use this opportunity to begin working on the stuff that will become the basis of some of my book when I sit down and write it.
While living in Korea, I’ve been in what boils down to roughly two fights. I find this number to be incredibly low, due in part to the sheer number of fights and screaming matches if witnessed, as well as the toleration of public drunkness. Sure I’ve heard Korean profanities muttered under breath about me, but there were only two real conflicts. It’s surprising how much one can take away from a culture by fighting with its members.
The first “fight” (conflict or confrontation would be more appropriate terms) came sometime in the fall of my first year in Korea. I was in a park with my friend (who was also America) eating kimbab. It was dusk, and in addition to the usually assortment of old men playing paduk and cards, street venders, and families, there were several beggars (it wouldn’t be Korea without a panhandler…) As my friend and I ate, one beggar, who was clearly intoxicated, came up to us and in Korean began a series of profanity laced questions and commands (”Why the fuck are you here?” “Speak Korean you fuckin’ sons of bitches!” “Fuckin’ foreigners!”)
A second beggar who had been sleeping on a bench near us awoke. He turned his attention to the drunk bum and told him to leave us be. The drunk guy turned his attention to his fellow countryman and we were for the time being ignored. The previously sleeping beggar motioned for us to make our escape (doing so prior to him distracting the angry hobo would have most likely resulted in a legitmate fight). As we snuck of our savior, in fairly decent English, proclaimed “I’m very sorry…”
My second fight came sometime in March of 2004. I was waiting for a bus in 연신내, and was drinking a Pepsi I had been given with my lunch. It was roughly 11:45 in the morning. Some man, clearly drunk, and most likely crazy, clad in a black martial arts uniform with white slip on shoes and a string of wooden beads around his neck came swaggering up to me at the bus stop. I had my headphones on so I could not make out all the nonsense he was spewing (I did make out “Why the fuck are you drinking a Pepsi you fucker?!”). A small crowd had gathered (it was a bus stop most were waiting for buses) comprised mainly of women with infants strapped to their backs and old men. I was pretty much on my own. The drunk continued to berate me, waving a finger in my face. At one point, he poked me in the eye. That was enough. When he raised his hand to slap me upside the head, for reasons still unbeknownst to me, I pushed him away, causing him to stumble backwards. During this fray a Korean soldier had come to the stop. As the drunk moved towards me, the soldier intervened and dragged the crazed lunatic away from the bus stop. An old man with a cane stepped out of the crowd and stood next to me. He asked in English, “What bus are you wait for?” I told him, and pointed to it down the road at a red light. The old man then told me, “We sorry what happen.” I assured him that it was not a big deal. The bus arrived, and I got on, with the drunk still yelling oaths at me.
I learned two things about Koreans due to these fights. The first being it doesn’t take much to set them off. Yes I am aware that alcohol was most likely a factor in both of my fights, but this is a culture in which children, males in particular, are extremely spoiled. Most parents here will allow a child to have his way and get what he wants if they act poorly. Never learning otherwise, the children grow up to be, for the most part, incredibly immature men. Look no further than the parilment’s response to the attempt to impeach President Roh in 2004. The fist fights and screaming matches that broke out were no different from those my kindergarten students engaged in when one boy took another boy’s toy.
The other thing I took from this was slightly more positive. The thing that struck me as odd was the apologetic behavior of others not directly involved in the conflicts. They were apologizing not in the “oh I’m sorry to hear that way,” more in the “I’m sorry my fellow countryman is behaving this way…I am ashamed.” This comes from the emphasis on the group in Korea. Min Byeong-chul writes in the book Ugly Koreans Ugly Americans, “Koreans seem to feel most secure thinking of themselves as members of various groups, the largest of which is the Korean nation. They usually say ‘our mother,’ ‘our teacher,’ ‘our country,’ instead of ‘my mother,’ ‘my teacher,’ ‘my country,’” (67). This group mentality causes the others in the group to feel some modicum of shame or embarassment at the poor behavior of another.
