西洋오랑캐

Today I am offering up, as a service to foreign English teachers in Korea, a crash course in classroom Korean. The rest of you are more than welcome to read along as well, and hell…you may even learn something!

So you arrive in Korea all enthusiastic about getting to hook up with a ton of hot Asian girls…I mean teach English. The only thing is, when you get in the classroom, things don’t really go as planned. Perhaps you have a class of complete beginners who don’t know the letter B from a squiggly line, or you have a class of out of control A.D.H.D. boys, or a room of pre-teen girls who refuse to talk. If you are like the majority of English teachers here, you have absolutely no knowledge of the Korean language, but no longer will your lack of language skills hinder you in your quest to teach. I present you with some simple Korean phrases that will help you take control of your class again.

Probably the most important phrase to have in the classroom (and I mean any classroom) is “Be quiet!” It’s one thing to tell kids to “Be quiet!” in a language they don’t understand, but to yell at them in their mother tounge. If you want to be fairly polite about this you can tell the kid “조용히 해! (Joyonghi-hae!)” Be sure to look real serious and use your teacher voice when delivering this line. If the phrase doesn’t quiet the class down, you have to stop be polite, and start being serious. It’s time to break out the big guns: “닥쳐! (Dak-chyeo!)” which could be translated somewhere between “Shut up!” and “Shut the fuck up!” When you bellow this just be sure none of your students are going to narc you out.

If you are teaching English in a hagwon, dollars to donuts says there is some sort of “No speaking Korean,” rule. It also goes without saying that none of the students follow this rule. The “No Korean” rule is one of those things I was fairly lenient about, until it became a bother to me (ie. some mooks talking about Star Craft while I was actually trying to teach). If you fell like going a different route (instead of “Be quiet!”) you can tell them “한국말하지마! (Hangukmal hajima!)” This expression means, “Don’t speak Korean,” and is extremely useful. Two quick notes on this phrase: It works well as an alternative to “Shut up” in classes of rookies, where taking away their Korean renders them effectively mute. The second point I want to mention is that tacking the ending ~지마 (jima) onto the end of a Korean verb makes said verb into a negative command. Here are some useful examples:

먹지마! (mokjima!) - Don’t eat!
하지마! (hajima!) - Don’t do that!
싸우지마! (ssa-woo-jima!) - Don’t fight!
욕하지마! (yokhajima!) - Don’t swear!

I mention the swearing, because chances are, your students will swear at you and think you don’t know what they are saying. Keep your ears open for the following phrases and then bellow “욕하지마!” at them and dish out whatever punishments you see fit.
I was originally planning on putting up a much larger post on Korean profanity (and still reserve the right to do so later), but these are the phrases that are most common in an elementary school setting.
바보 (pabo) - Idiot, fool, stupid! The most common “profanity” uttered by the under 9 set.
똥꼬 (ddong-kko) - “asshole” or “anus.” It’s probably a lot closer to butthole however.
놈 (nom) - Kind of like bastard or “fucker.”
똥배 (ddong-bae) - Literally “Shit stomach.” If your stomach is larger then the average Korean’s you will be called this or…
돼지 (dwi-ji) - pig, or…
뚱댕이 - fatso.
And the big one, this one is one you should threaten to call home about.
개새끼 (gae saekki) - Pretty much the worst word in Korean. It’s like “son of a bitch” or “mother fucker.” Kids utter this (especially towards you) need to get a beat down!

Anyhow this crash course is getting a tad long…and I need to comence to drinking soon, so I’m just going to toss some other useful expressions down here. I’d lie and say later I’d come back and explain things better, but I’m not a liar, so I won’t tell you such things:
말해봐! (mal hae-bwa!) - “Say it!” or “Speak!” If you have one of those silent kids this will let them know that they need to talk. (해봐! is “Do it!” use it for any command a kid refuses to acknowledge).
야! (Ya!) - It’s like “Hey!” or “Yo!” only ruder. You can use this prior to any of the other expressions I’ve given (ie. 야! 한국말하지마!)
들어봐! (deureo-bwa!) - Listen!
이리 와! (iri wa!) - Come here!
일어나! (ireona!) - Stand up!
앉아! (an-ja!) - Sit down!
이제 됐어! (ijea dwesseo!) - That’s enough!
그만해! (geuman hae!) - Stop!
And if all else fails just ask them: 너 죽을래? (No jukullae?) This expression means, “Do you wanna die?” Be sure that you crack your knuckles when uttering this phrase.

Anyhow that’s going to do it for me, since I have other things to attend to. I know I’ve left out some…a lot of stuff a teacher might need to know, but hey I’m not a Korean teacher, but at least I’m making an effort to learn it. I know Korean can be a difficult language, but to those people here, at least make some effort to pick up a little bit. It will make your stay here that much more enjoyable.