I’m a young man, and while I enjoy what I’m doing I don’t see myself teaching in a day care center…uh I mean hagwon forever. “So Wyatt, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
That’s a good question, and I’ve given it some serious thought. Excluding the possible creation of awesome new future jobs, like robocop, or alien bounty hunter, or space business man, I’ve decided that the best job avalible in this day in age is “old Korean man.”
“Say wha~?”
Take it easy an In Living Color cast member! Allow me to explain what makes the old Korean man such an awesome job. Well to begin with, they are their own boss. No one is going to tell an old Korean man what to do. As an old Korean man I would not have to fill out pointless paperwork, or lie to people to keep them happy. Additionally as an old Korean man I can set my own hours. No longer would I have to pass up all night drinking events or rock shows so I could get up early for work. As an old Korean man, I could party til I puke, and then sleep in the next day.
Additionally as an old Korean man, extreme drunkeness is tolerated…nay, encouraged! So I am allowed to spend my day in anyway I please, as long as I have some brew with me.
Furthermore, Korean men (old men in general get to spit on the street). In doing so, they make such an awesome noise. It’s kind of like “HWAAAAAAKKK!” and then they spit. Such an awesome, awesome noise!
“So what, hobos can do all of that shit too! What makes an old Korean man such a great job?”
Oh, a hobo is a pretty sweat job as well, but an old Korean man has something a hobo doesn’t have…style! I refer you to figure 71-D.
Seriously, look at that picture! Who wouldn’t want have a job where your uniform is the above picture! Damn think of all the ladies that would be up on my jock if I looked like that…wait a second, why wait? I’m off to go purchase some plaid pants. Later peoples!
