WARNING: The following post is rated R, viewers under the age of 17 are not permitted.
On Saturday morning (after hanging out with punk rockers in a park), I traveled to a local college campus to meet up with the lady I tutor. For some reason on this particular day, the university was holding a book fair, so my student and I checked out the fair and picked up some outstanding (and cheap) books.
Among the awesome books I hauled in was a book titled, 「잘못 쓰면 위험한 영어」 (literally “English That Is Dangerous If You Use It By Mistake”). The book was actually a lot more academic than I expected from a slang phrase book. The book included a lot of historical examples explaining the meaning of various slang and profanity, but among these dry historical examples there were some dangerous phrases to be had. Let’s check out some of the best (worst) expression found within this tome.
단지 그녀가 일이란 그녀의 겆통을 약간 흔드는 것뿐이었다. 그래서 그녀는 그 직장을 잡았다.
All she needs to do is make her tits quake a bit and she’s got the job.
What kind of job is this woman applying for? Unless she’s looking for a job at a place with a name like Nightmoves, or Shenanigans, or something along that line, I really can’t see how a woman’s ability to make her tits quake is a pre-requisite for any type of employment.
그는 음모 없는 여자를 원했다.
He wanted a woman with no bush.
More likely than not if this guy is in Korea he’s going to be out of luck.
아빠, 내 고추가 지퍼에 걸려버렸어요.
Daddy, my cock is stuck in a zipper.
This phrase appeared in the book exactly like this. I’m in shock that such phrase was included. The “Daddy” in conjuction with the word “cock” just struck me as entirely fucked up.
탐은 대단한 색골이야.
Tom is such a cunt-hound.
I’ve never heard of a “cunt-hound” before, but the Korean word “색골” is a lewd person. It kind of strikes me as an early 60’s TV sitcom mixed with Andrew Dice Clay or some other dirtbag who utters the word “cunt.” Seriously who would say something like this?
카산드라는 궁정 호위병들에게 강간당했다.
Cassandra was gangbanged by the palace guards.
I’m not make this up, this expression was included in the book. I need to somehow include this expression in the next conversation I have with someone in Korean.
Not all the phrases were this outstanding. Some of the expressions made no sense to me, but I think that the bulk of these are things that hail from merry old England.
그 여자 끝내주는 차를 갖고 있네!
What a tits car she’s got!
The thing I’ve noticed about all of these kind of books is they make no distinction between phrases used in England and phrases used in the States. The bulk of Americans would have no clue as to what a “tits car” is.
So there you have it, dangerous Korean and umm…stupid English.