Through the magic of the internet, while you are reading this I am currently on route to America (or will be if you happen to be reading this before the actual publishing date am preparing to depart, getting a good night’s sleep before my trip, taking one more shower in Korea, en route to the airport, or sitting in an airport awaiting the boarding call). That being said, I’m going to be a tad busy while in America, so updates will be few and far between until August 13th when I return to Korea. When I return you’ll get the full report of my random American adventures and alcohol consumptions.
So for those of you who aren’t me, here are some things you can do to fill the two week void while I’m living it up in the land of milk and honey hamburgers and Wal*Mart.
If you live in America, in particular the tri-state area, call my parents’ house and arrange a meet and greet. Be prepared to drink some brews and talk about the “good old days,” or how much better your life is than mine.
If you are not one of those people (or don’t have my parents’ home phone number / live in my parents’ house) check out some of the links in my sidebar. There are some decent reads and decent photos to be had over there.
If that doesn’t float your boat (or you are the links in my sidebar), read through some of my archieves. AH! Here’s what we’re going to do. It’s contest time! Read though the archieves and attempt to find how many times I have contradicted myself in the past couple years. And umm…there will be a prize for the correct answer. Yeah, the winner will get an autographed picture of me and maybe some uhh….Korean snack foods.*
Or better yet how about this contest: Read through the archieves and attempt to find all the random references to pop culture (album reviews, discussion of Korean films, or television shows do not count). To start you off, the title of this post is from a M.C. Hammer jam off the Too Legit to Quit album. Again there will be prizes for the winner of this contest…a round of drinks on me!**
Additionally if you are in Korea, and happen to run into Domino, the singer for the band Popstore, at his show, tell him that I apologize for missing out on his band’s return to the stage, and be sure to get dates for the next show post August 13th, as I would not miss it for anything.
So fear not people, like the South, I will rise again…on August 13th or maybe 14th since I don’t know how the international dateline will effect my arrival in Korea. And once I’m back, believe you me will you be in for more Wyatt Dunn then you can shake a stick at!
*This contest is open to all readers born between August 19th, 2005 and August 20th, 2060. Contest ends August 14th, 2005. Employees of Kimchi & Me Unlimited or it’s subsidiaries are not eligible. Residents in AL, CT, and GA will have to pay any shipping and handling fees.
**This contest is open to all readers residing in Seoul, Korea (or those who will be living in Seoul between August 13, 2005 and December 13, 2005). Employees of Kimchi & Me Unlimited or it’s subsidiaries are not eligible.
This week is the first full week of my students’ summer vacation (from their regular school…I still see them on a daily basis). For this reason, many of my students are missing in action this week. It’s amazing how different a class goes when one child is missing.
I have a class (known in my school as the yellow class) made up entirely of first and second graders. This week, one kid (a child we’ll call Kevin) has been on vacation and the class has been a breeze without him.
To call a seven year old a prick is kind of harsh…but I can think of nothing better to call that kid. He talks nonstop in class, doesn’t listen, stirs up trouble with the other kids, randomly hits people, is defiant, and is consistantly out of his seat. Basically a little prick.
I can’t count how many times a day I begin a sentence with “Kevin!” This week, on the other hand has been quiet. Even the other kids who with Kevin’s encouragement are usually boardering on being hell-spawns have been quite well behaved this week. They’ve done all their works, listened to my instructions, stayed in their seats, and have not come to blows with each other.
Oh what a glorious week it has been! Oh and also I surpassed 20,000 hits on this page today. Yay for me!
I have a class consisting of three kindergarten aged girls, and for some reason last week I taught them the chorus for the classic 80’s hard rock tune, “We’re Not Gonna Take It!” by your friends and mine, Twisted Sister.
He’s not gonna take it! No! He ain’t gonna take it!
Today, we here at Kimchi & Me enter the fast pace world of the late 90’s internet technology. I bring you a 6M Mpeg file of Korean girls bellowing about fighting the power 80’s hard rock style (with some vocal cues from me).
So enjoy the vocal stylings of Alice, Sammy, and Kate (featuring Wyatt).
I am seriously convinced that there was no such thing as pizza prior to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hitting the airwaves in Korea. As anyone that has seen an episode…hell 10 seconds of an episode of TMNT could tell you that the Turtles enjoyed pizza. Only (in the cartoon) they enjoyed some rather bizarre toppings: jelly beans, ice cream, peanut butter, cherries and almonds, corn, French fries, all found their way onto pizzas consumed by heroes on the half shell, and in turn influenced the pizza of South Korea.
Today’s menu: 불고기 피자 (Bulgogi Pizza).
This particular dish is not that bizzarre. For those of you with limited knowledge of Korean cuisine, bulgogi is a Korean dish consisting of marinated meat. It’s the kind of dish that anyone (aside from vegetarians), even those with unadventurous palettes, seem to enjoy. So this pizza, in addition to traditionally pizza toppings (mushrooms, green peppers, corn), includes large brown strips of some kind of meat that is allegedly supposed to be 불고기. Real 불고기 is made up of thinly sliced meat (either beef or pork) and is fairly juicy. The meat found here was more like beef jerky. It was hard and dry and had to be ripped apart with ones teeth.
That is not to say that all 불고기 pizza is poorly executed. I have had some 불고기 pizza that comes much closer to replicating the deliciousness that is 불고기 in a pizza form…Rodchester Pizza, I’m afraid can’t do it though.
Tonight’s installment of Konglish Word of the Week is rated R and contains strong language and sexual situations. Viewer discression is advised.
Greetings ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another installment of Konglish Word of the Week. The warning up front may have tipped you off, but this installment is going to be a little bit raunchy. If you have a problem with filth…hit the bricks until tomorrow. Everyone else, let’s carry on. Tonight I bring you words you need to know while getting it on in Konglish!
팬티
(Penti / Panty)
Anyone that has spent more than a week in Korea will be able to explain that in Korean men wear “panties.” That’s right…Koreans all wear “panties.” No they are not a nation of drag queens or Rocky Horror fans…in Korea the word 팬티 is gender neutral. Men, women, boys, and girls all wear panties here…hell, I’m wearing “panties” right now! (And now the I will get people arriving here searching for “Korean drag queens.”) Koreans, in English only female undergarments are refered to as “panties.” Men wear underwear.
팬티스터킹
(Panty Stocking)
Not that this is an overly sexy word, or is important in the sack, but I only mention it here, since I don’t think I will ever. 팬티스터킹 is the Korean word for “pantyhose.” Combining the words panty and stocking…Koreans come up with 팬티스터킹. Again, any Koreans that happen to be reading this, in English we do not use this term.
카섹스
(Car Sex)
I guess this term would be acceptable in English for what it is (sex in a car). But I like that fact that you can make it a verb and proclaim stuff like “Let’s car sex!” by attaching the verb 하다. (”카섹스하자!” in case you were wondering how to bellow such things).
스킨십
(Skinship)
스킨십 is a difficult concept to translate. To the best of my understanding / what Korean people have told me, 스킨십 is any physical contact between two people. So a six year old girl hugs her grandmother, that’s 스킨십. A pair of leather men fuck each other in the ass…well that’s 스킨십 too.
Anyhow that about does it from here. The bulk of Korean sex terms are either indigenous Korean terms or Sino-Korean (漢字 derived terms), but those are less interesting to talk about. Enjoy kids, and don’t blame me if ladies smack you in the face for bellowing these terms.
Some time in the past few years, Korean film makers became obsessed with the gross-out comedy. I’ve recently reviewed the film 색즉시공, and now this…
몽정기2 is the story of three high school girls, their “hot” teacher, and their classmates. The film has a very half-assed feel to it. The first half of the film is a raunchy sex comedy in which two high school students (one a believable Korean high school girl, the other a busty future stripper of Korea [she is playing a teen model in the film and spends most of the film prancing around in skimpy clothes]) competing to win affection from their student teacher, a man cursed with flatuance any time he pops a boner.
The one girl has never had never had sex before and in order to prepare for getting it on with her teacher becomes obsessed with masturbating. At one point while she is putting a condom on a cucumber her father enters her room. She quickly removes the condom and puts it in her mouth while her dad chows down on the now spermicide coated cucumber.
She’s not the only one, all the girls in the first half this movie are obsessed with sex. It’s nice that a movie is finally honest about this fact. Sure there are plenty of comedies in which high school boys are on epic quests to get laid. Finally a movie that says, “Yeah, girls are just as horny.” But aside this all changes in the second half.
The second half of the movie seems like an entirely different flick. It’s far too dramatic, and the girls go from being obsessed with sex, to being obsessed with romance. And the end of the movie pulls some completely random resolution out of it’s ass. There’s a big dance off, and the main character elects to dance with some random high school boy instead of her teacher (in spite of the fact that she had made out with the teacher previously).
I think the thing I liked least about the movie was how it totally ignored so parts of plot in the conclusion. At one point the three girls consulte a classmate known as Brainy Smurf, about sex. After the meeting she confesses her love for the character played by 빈, and kisses her. The “Brainy Smurf” girl, and the kiss are never mentioned again…much to my dismay. I was waiting for 빈 to get her tango on with Brainy Smurf in the final dance battle, but instead she danced with some random guy, who to my knowledge, had not been in the movie prior to that scene.
Anyhow I can’t really recomend the flick. There were a couple funny spots, plus the girl playing a model was super stacked, but aside from that the movie wasn’t that good. A lot of it seemed rushed, and the small amount of plot there was jumped around more than Frogger on speed. But if you have a thing for Asian girls in school uniforms talking about sex and how they want to fuck their teachers this film is for you.
Like I’ve mentioned in the past few work based posts I’ve made, I’m becoming more and more stoked about traveling home, and less and less stoked about doing real teaching, which in a way has made me a better teacher.
Earlier this semester one of my classes read a tale entitled “If You Give A Pig A Pancake.” At the end of the tale there was a bonus activity that included a pancake recipe. So on Wednesday I told the kids we would build some pancakes on Friday, and today is Friday…so it was pancake day!
The kids were totally into making pancakes. I never thought that anyone could get so excited about things like cracking an egg, or pouring batter into a pan, or (and this caused the most excitement) flipping a pancake.
The saddest part of the entire experience was the fact that the pancakes the kids flipped were perfectly round, beautiful pancakes, while the pancake I flipped while teaching my students to word “flip” was a disgusting oblong mess. For shame Wyatt, for shame!
Earlier this morn, in preparation for my rapidly approaching trip home, I trekked over the my local K*B (name of my bank) to turn Korean money to dollaz (with a Z). While the bank teller was crunching the numbers he struck up a random conversation about New York after he saw my passport. This lead to talk of baseball and the Yankees. I explained to him that I did not like the Yankees, instead prefering the Mets, which prompted him to give the same response anyone (aside from other Mets fans) have when I tell them I like the Mets, “Why?”
I explained to him that like gender one gets their sports teams from their father…my dad is a Mets fan hence I am a Mets fan. Anyhow I was doing well in this conversation until he started talking about mutual funds and finance. I quickly realized that aside from words for deposit, withdraw, and exchange I know nothing of financial vocabulary…then again I don’t really know any of the terms in English either.
On occassion I stumble across something a teaching tool so awesome I’m surprised that I hadn’t realized the awesomeness of them sooner. Today was one of those days. Today one of my classes had a class assignment which was basically a Mad-Libs rip off. It went something like this.
1. person in your family
2. your favorite food
3. verb (past tense)
4. something you find in your house
5. an animal
One day, (1) and I decided to make (2) for the whole family. It was hard work.
First (1) (3) everything in a big bowl. It was so hard to mix she had to use a (4).
When we were finished, no one wanted to eat the (2) so we gave it to our pet (5).
Now, perhaps because I grew up with Mad-Libs I didn’t really think it was that funny, but to hear about moms and sisters punching or studying things into bowls that require a TV or chair mixing, didn’t reallly strike me as that funny, but these kids totally lost their shit. I had each student read their version of the above story, and each time the other kids errupted in laughter.
Note to myself, pick up some Mad-Libs books while I’m in the States…and milk them for all they’re worth when I get back here. Additionally be prepared to teach the kids the all so important verbs fart, poop, and piss.
South Korea has an extremely high percentage of smokers (I have vague recollection of a statistic I read somewhere claiming that over 50% of Korean males smoke…though I can’t find exact figures right now※) and over the past two weeks I’ve taken note of some of the more bizarre situations that Koreans seem to think call for a smoke. Here they are presented in easy to use list form.
* Caught under an awning without an umbrella in a downpour.
* Tunning a guitar in million degree heat while wearing a leather jacket.
* Disembarking from a bus.
* Waiting for a crosswalk light to change.
* Picking through my garbage.
* Doing battle with someone in a computer game at a PC 방.
* Drinking beer during a lunch break at a construction sight.
* Delivering Chinese food.
* Making a phone call outside my apartment.
* Heading off to church on a Sunday morning, with a leather bound bible under one arm.
* Preparing to beat your high school daughter for allegedly having sex with a teacher (seen in a movie).
* Guarding a parking lot of tour buses while Chinese people attend an 인삼 (人蔘 / ginseng) shop.
* Questioning witnesses to a drunken bar fight.
So there are some of the situations in which smoking would be socially acceptable here in the land of the morning calm. If you have any others (sex and drinking don’t count because they aren’t that funny) take it to the comments. Additionally if anyone knows how I can change my template to make the colums bigger (no one uses 640x480 resolution anymore…I don’t know why the default layouts always assume they do) drop me an email. I’m sick of wasting all the space here, but I’m a moron about junks like HTML and the like.
※ If you have links to some reliable data as to the percentage of the Korean population that smokes, hook me up in the comments or send me an email. I’ll edit this nonsense if give you mad prop shout outs dawg.
I should really change the name from “Word of the Week” to “Words of the Week” since there are always multiple words. Today is no different, and this time for those of you who can’t read 한글 (hangeul…the Korean alphabet) today’s episode features Konglish that makes exclusive use of 로마자 (Roman letters). Today we take a look at some wacky abbreviations that most certainly do not exist in America. You will know it is time to turn the page when you hear the chimes ring like this (SOUND OF CHIMES). Let’s begin now (SOUND OF CHIMES).
CF (Commercial Film)
At least that’s what the smart money for the meaning of CF would be. CFs are commercials. Here in Korea commercials usually star celebrities from other realms (music, television, film, sports, ect.) Rare is the commercial featuring regular schmucks. Though Korea does have it’s share of commercials for local business on cable channels (which I have learned are the same the world over).
MV
(Music Video)
This is pretty self explainatory, but to those of you who are not Koreans and are hanging around with Koreans, you would more likely than not, have no clue what your friends are talking about if they start talking about MVs. Please don’t confuse the Korean MV with the Nirvana b-side “MV.” The Nirvana “MV” stood for “Moist Vagina.”
MT
(Membership Training)
The concept of membership training is really hard to explain. It’s kind of like an orientation. It’s kind of like summer camp. It’s kind of like a drunken bender. Basically when people join new clubs, declare majors, participate in a sport, and so on, these people go on membership training, which pretty much involves eating, drinking, and rediculous games that foster a sense of togetherness among the group.
PD
(Producer)
As in a television show’s producer. This abbreviation is commonly seen on random Korean game shows where the producer will yell stuff from off camera. Since game shows have a bizarre habit of writing out everything that is bellowed on the bottom of the screen you will often see things like, “PD: 야, 임마!” on Korean game shows.
NG
(No Good)
This is the Korean version of an outtake or a bloopers on television show or a movie. Like PD, this is commonly seen on Korean game shows.
So there are some of the random abbreviations used here in Korea. If I left anything out, drop me a comment and let me know.
Today I learned a very important thing about going to school in Korea…there’s no such thing as a sick day. Some sort of summer plague is running roughshod over the school children in 고양시 like a disco inferno.
My first class of the day is my class of first grade (and a couple second grade) maniacs. Things are going pretty well, until suddenly a child (let’s call him John, since that’s his title) starts crying. Now in a class of seven boys, crying is not outside of the realm of possibility, though in this particular incident, he was sitting alone and everyone is class was actually paying attention.
So this kid is balling, I ask him what’s wrong in Korean (which shocked the rest of class since I don’t speak Korean in front of them ever), and then asked if he had a stomach ache. He claimed he did, so I walked him out of the class to go see the secretary. As he walked I noticed a not unfamiliar scent. The kid had shat himself. Luckily for him, none of his classmates seemed to notice the smell or the fact that he had a greasy brown stain on the ass of his slacks.
Now the kid was clearly ill when he came in today and I could not understand why his parents sent him in. A similar (albeit less disgusting) sequel to this event occured later in the day when the class of five and sixth graders came in. One of the boys who is usually out of control was looking very subdued. I asked him what was wrong and he explained that he was sick and had puked at school earlier in the day.
ME: Didn’t you get to go home?
HIM: No…I had to clean it and then go back to class.
ME: What the f? Why did you come here today? Why aren’t you at home?
HIM: I have to study.
ME: Well, don’t even think about puking in here. Ok?
HIM: Ok.
He didn’t vomit at all in class, which is a good thing, since I stopped teaching kindergarten I had not had to deal with any disgusting bodily fluids, and if I had to deal with two in one day, it might have been too much to bear.
The weekend the venue known as Ssamspace had a series of concerts dubbed Big Star Show. Not being interested in the Friday event, and getting drunk with English teachers from Japan on Saturday, Sunday eve (hey that’s tonight) I headed over to check out some bands I’ve seen before. Arriving at the venue the whole place had been redone inside (it looks way more space aged now), and the powers that be changed the name from Ssamspace Baram to Love Club Ssam. Anyhow enough talk about the new aluminum foil wall paper…on with the rocking!
No Brain were up first. They hit the stage with their singer noticably missing. Their bassist explained that the singer was sick (or injured) since you can use the same word in Korean, but they promised to play tonight and play they would. So the singer from Ghetto Bombs, the singer from Rux, and even drunken audience members helped out on vocal duties. It was like punk rock karaoke.
Following the punk rock karaoke that was No Brain’s set was Ghetto Bombs. First off I have to tell you how much respect I have for their guitarist. The venue was about a million degrees, he was onstange under inferno like stage lights, it’s the middle of July, and the dude still was sporting his leathers. Anyhow Ghetto Bombs recently released a new album, so their set was mostly new stuff, which seriously kicked ass. The new tunes are so mighty I had to pick up the album right away.
Sugar Donut were up next. They are quickly becoming one of my favorite bands to see live. They really rock out. I think I’ve seen them three times now, and the dudes are always in the middle of the bill. Sugar Donut need to be headlining more…they are far more awesome than the band that ended up headlining this eve.
The headliners of the evening were Lazybone (I would have prefered any of the other bands). They have a couple of alright jams, but they are not really my cup of tea, for you see, Lazybone is a ska band, and long time readers will know my overall opinion of ska. The ladies really seemed to dig Lazybone since they were the only band during which the girl behind me didn’t grab my ass. Anyhow they played the couple of songs of theirs I like, and then it was time to go home.
Anyhow in addition to getting to rock out, I ran into Nathan’s friend Ian at the show which was kind of odd considering the large number of people in this city and the sprawling size of it. So aside from that I picked up some wicked cheap CDs, including what would have the be the single most insane CD I’ve ever purchased (look for a review of that on the next slow / no news day). That’s about it…if you want to look at more pretty pictures of rocking out, you can do so here. Peace out kids!
I have a new favorite Korean television show, and it is 두근두근체인지 (Dugeun Dugeun Change). I’m pretty sure the show is now only being shown in reruns (thanks Comedy channel), but when it originally aired I did not watch it.
Anyhow, from the outside the plot of the show is pretty straight forward: some girls like some guys, but these guys have eyes for other ladies. The ladies therefore go out of their way, bending over backwards attempting to win the hearts of the aforementioned dudes. That pretty much summarizes every single television program ever produced in South Korea…save for those programs that foreigners need a degree in Korean history to really understand (hahaha MBC I have one!).
But this show is no ordinary Korean drama. The girls are unable to get the attention of these dudes, because the girls are ugly. This is a major departure from most Korean dramas in which this rediculously beautiful girls are fighting over some asshole guy that cares more about his job working for some chebol, then he does about the fact that numberous hot ladies are trying to get on his jock. But again I digress. These ugly girls, need fear not for they have a secret weapon! These ladies have some magic shampoo that turns them from duds to studs…er ugly ladies into beautiful ladies.
Now here’s the reason I really like this show; in America where Hollywood attempts to pass off people like Jennifer Love-Hewitt as ugly by slapping some emo glasses on them and dressing them up in Steve Urkel gear, here they use a totally different actress to be the “beautiful girl.” It’s like, “Sorry actresses you are actually ugly…we need actual hot actresses to play you when you’re hot.”
That being said I think I have a crush on two out of three of the ugly girls…oh 박슬기, 조정린…wait what the shit am I talking about? I digress.
I’m hoping that by the end of this series (since all series in Korea have a definative ending) they give us some bullshit “true beauty comes from the inside” conclusion, but I’m not really holding my breath. That’s not the Korean drama way. The smart money is on all the characters dying.
Random Language Note: 두근두근 is the sound of a pounding heart. 체인지 is the word “change” written in 한글.
Each and every day at noon-thirty I trek off to work, leaving behind my spotlessley clean door. I ride the subway, ride a bus, teach some maniacs and then return to my domicle. Upon my return, without fail, I will find my door festooned with assorted advertisements taped to my door. Usually they are ads for local eateries, internet providers, and ummm….more eateries. Walking in the streets my whiteness excludes me from being handed hand-bills, but no one knows what unspeakable evil lurks behind door 205…so up go the ads. Hey guys, I have an internet provider, I have all the takeout menus I need, please leave me be!
Look at this picture. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Racist? Definately. Crude? I’ll give you that. Outdated? That’s right. World War 2 was a different time. Gone are the days of protraying enemies in the crudest possible stereotypes. There are not political cartoons in the west featuring Muslims buttfucking camels or bradishing scimitars while buttfucking camels. But not so fast! Take a gander at this!
WTF? Is that a CGI “Jap?” Why yes it is! I recently came across this animated spot, the latest in the one sided battle for 독도 (Dokdo). The spot starts off with a fleet of Japanese invaders led by some ethnic stereotypes. Their fleet is made up of warships from the 1600s and World War 2 era fighter planes.
The fleet gets a tad too close to Dokdo and someone hits the “red button.” These crude stereotypes start quaking in their sumo loinclothes, fearing what is about to come. What is it? Nukes? The mighty Yi Sun-shin?
FUCK! It’s Taekwon V! Korea’s blantant ripoff of the Japanese giant robot Manzinger Z (right down to pointless use of a Roman letter) arises from between the two rocks that make up Dokdo ready to kick some fuckin’ Japanese ass. And kick ass he does! Taekwon V is able to ravage the entire Japanese fleet with a single spin hook kick.
And if that isn’t enough some seagulls take a shit on the Japanese leader’s face. That will teach ‘em to have provincial minority parties make claims over some rocks! Having saved the day again, Taekwon V rips Dokdo from the sea and hold them aloft (like He-man and his magic sword…only infinately more juvenille), proclaim that “Today, too, Dokdo is the ideal.”
Anyhow, Korea(ns) I don’t dispute your claims over 독도, but if you want anyone to take you seriously and listening to you, you’ve gotta start going about things with a little more class, a little more diplomacy, and a lot less racism.
Well summer is here, so you know what that means: drinking beer with friends, cook outs, Country Time lemonade, swimming pools, scantily clad ladies, and of course baseball. So today as a tribute to summer, we are going to take a look at some of the bizarre words associated with baseball here in Korea.
포볼
Four Ball
포볼 is the Korean expression for being walked. This expression makes a little bit of sense given that receiving four balls would cause the batter to take a base. However Koreans, if you use this expression to westerners, they will have no clue what you’re talking about.
데드볼
Dead Ball
What 데드볼 tries to express is the concept of being hit by a pitch. I really don’t understand where “dead ball” comes from….
Oh wait, now I get it. I’ll let this action stand as being a “dead ball.” Maybe America needs to adopt this expression.
백 넘버
Back Number
백 넘버 is the uniform / jersey number. This term does not only apply to baseball uniforms, but this being a special baseball edition it gets mentioned here. I guess since uniform numbers are usually on the back this number is known as a “back number.”
So there are some of the stranger baseball terms here in Korea.
I’m not going to lie to you, I watch a lot of TV. A lot of TV. I’ve recently seen three fairly random items in my television viewing.
First up is a commercial for War of the Worlds. Now everyone in America is probably aware of the fact that Tom Cruise is insane, but over here witnessing his insanity is rare. We don’t have E! News or the Today show, so without the internet I would have no idea that Tom Cruise is nuts, and even then, it’s just stories. The other day I witnessed the afore mentioned commercial. It featured Mr. Cruise starring into a camera with manic eyes proclaiming something along the lines of, “Hi Korea, I’m Tom Cruise. Check out War of the Worlds this summer, it will scare the hell out of you! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!” All I have to say is now I too know that Tom Cruise is one creepy muthafucker.
Next up on this hit parade du jour is a piece of film I saw a couple days back. I was up late and was watching some random television. The program ended and the channel was going off the air for the night. Like all television stations the world over, this footage contained some nationalistic music and various “our country is so awesome” footage. You know the kind: shots of nature, national monuments, bald eagles…er cranes, flags, ecetra ecetra. This film included a fairly odd presentation of the Korean flag. They elected to use footage of the Korean flag being raised from the Olympics. The particular footage they used featured the Korean flag being raised over the United States and China, which I thought was kind of an odd choice to use.
The last segment comes to us from the good people at AFN Korea. This channel does not show normal commercials, instead they feature public service announcements, and little human interest stories dubbed “Why I Serve.” This segment has average service people talking about why they joined the military, and what the most important / rewarding part of the job is. Recently a new “Why I Serve,” has been airing. This features a guy who claims that the most rewarding part of the job is when he can help people during “salami diasters.” I think he wanted to say, “tsunami disasters,” bit perhaps I am wrong, and on occassion at Camp Casey or YungSen (horrid pronunciation of 용산 that dominates AFN) there are actual salami diasters. The first time I saw this spot I wanted to give the guy the benefit of the dobut, “I must of heard it wrong…he didn’t say salami disaster,” but alas each of my subsequent viewings have cemented the fact that this guy uttered the phrase “salami disaster.”
Last night around 9pm I headed out to pick up an adult beverage. Getting outside I heard a horrible sound coming from the one car parking lot next to my apartment. Examining the one car parking lot I found that a stray puppy had fallen down into a small garden next to the parking lot.
The garden was a two foot drop and had a retaining wall that the puppy was unable to scale. Recalling the advice given to me by the GI Joe named Junkyard about not touching stray dogs, I made a ramp using a plank of wood and hoped that he would escape on his own. I then went about my business of purchasing an adult beverage.
Returning to my apartment I could still hear the sorrowful cries of the puppy. Stupid dog didn’t realize that all it had to do to escape was walk up a plank. By this time the puppy’s mother (or some other dog it ran with had arrived), but there was nothing this dog could do to assist the puppy.
Since I didn’t feel like listening to a crying puppy all night, I went back inside my apartment and got a scuzzy towel. I went back outside and using the towel as a net was able to capture the puppy. I lifted him out of the garden, and off he ran to go continue his life of eating garbage, and I ran off to go continue my life of drinking beers and watching really crappy television.
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the first installment of “Konglish Word of the Week,” a new feature here at K&M. What is Konglish you ask? Well my friends, Konglish refers to English words adopted into the Korean language. Sometimes these words are brought into Korean, and aside from some slightly different pronunciation (햄버거 [hembeogeo] vs. hamburger) are used exactly the same as they would be in the English language. These words are not very interesting to talk about (nor do they need a lot of explaination for non-native speakers of Korean). So what I’m going to talk about are those other cases. Words that, in Korean, have totally different meanings than their English counterpart, compound words that exist in Korean, yet no English speaker would recognize, abbreviations of English words and expressions that are uniquely Korean, and other assorted weirdness. So let’s begin already! Today we are going to take a look at an important word for anyone looking for love 한국말으로…
미팅
Meeting
While “meeting” in English refers business related gatherings (”Johnson, don’t forget we have that meeting with the Board of Directors tomorrow at 9:00!”) here in Korea it has a slightly more romantic meaning. A 미팅 is a blind date. This word can be made into a verb by attaching 하다.
The use of this word ushered in another word which made use of the 팅 ending…
소개팅
Sogaeting
This word if fairly similar in meaning to 미팅. In Korean 소개 is an introduction. When the mighty 팅 is added it becomes an event in which people are introduced. If my sources are correct the difference between 소개팅 and 미팅 is that 소개팅 is a one on one event, while a 미팅 involves several males and females who through discussion and or games pair off. It’s kind of a group blind date. Like 미팅, 소개팅 can be made into a verb by adding 하다.
So there you have it, the first installment of Konglish Word of the Week! For as long as the motivation is with me, each week I’ll explain more words and expressions that sound like English, but aren’t. Questions, comments, or concerned can be left in the comments section, or email me at Wyatt@theinternet.org…
So today is my two year anniversary in Korea, and to celebrate I head out to check out a record release party for the band Sixteen. I had seen this band once before, but aside from remembering that they had several decent looking ladies, I couldn’t remember how they sounded. Whatever! Anyhow this being Sixteen’s night, they were the stars of the show, but there were some special guests. These guests all hated bass guitar. First up was Tearliner. They played some mellow two guitar, keyboard, drum rock. Pretty awesome.
Somehow Sixteen hit the stage next. The last time I saw them they were a five piece band featuring three decent looking Korean ladies. Today they hit the stage as a three piece (with no bass player) and only one sexy lady. Aside from playing some rock and roll jams they conversed with their audience about their new album and played a cover of an Oasis song (”Wonderwall” if memory serves me correctly…damn you alcohol). But alas only one beautiful lady…
Sixteen left the stage, and Slow 6 (that’s Slow June not Slow Six) took to the stage with his acoustic guitar. Like all previous bands he too had an adversion to low end (unlike the other bands, he also had an adversion to drums and keyboards). He played some a couple acoustic folk songs, cracked a couple jokes, and then departed.
Next up in the parade of guest stars was 이아립 (Earip). She had a laptop computer and an acoustic guitar and played a couple jams for us, while wearing black and white striped stockings. She was / is in a band called Sweater. This solo work, surprisingly sounded a lot like the Korean band, Sweater. Like Slow 6 she played a couple jams, had some technical difficult, and then left the stage.
After a couple of special guest stars, Sixteen return with a different guitarist (the oringal guitarist had a bass now), and different clothes. The played a bunch of more rocking tunes (their first set was more mellow acoustic jams) like a cover of Green Day’s “Hitchin’ A Ride” arranged in a fashion that Ben Folds could have done. They played some tunes, talked about their new album, talked about how their drummer had hamburger 눈치 (really hard Korean concept to translate…something like “foresight” or “intuition”), and pretty much rocked out. All in all it was not a bad way to celebrate the end of my second year in Korea.
