西洋오랑캐

Wow two posts in one day about crappy mainstream Korean music. Flipping through the television I came across a performance featuring five decent looking ladies doing some standard issue light weight pop music. I mention my low tolerance for boybands…well I have a slightly higher tolerance for girl groups. Their music videos are the reason God created a mute button.

So the video comes to a close and I see the group’s name for the first time: Redsox. I rubbed my eyes. “Are they serious? Are they baseball fans? Are they Bostonians? Wait, am I drunk?”

I decided to check it out online and see if there was indeed a group known as Redsox. Naver quickly confirmed what I had seen. But wait that’s not all!

Lee Hye-rim

This is 이혜림 (Lee Hye-rim), one of the members of the aforementioned Redsox. Like all good Korean websites, the Redsox website gives critical information about each of the ladies. The stats of Miss 혜림 were clearly the most interesting. Let’s examine them shall we?

생년월일: 1986년
신장: 172cm
체중: 44kg
특기: 포즈, 운동
학력: 명지대학교 재학 중

So lemme break it on down for those of you with no knowledge of Korean. The first item is her date of birth. She is apparently too cool for school and only provided the year of her birth (1986 if you are slow on the draw). Next up is her height. She is apparently 172cm tall, but I wonder if this height is taken while wearing high heels, since 172cm is really tall for a woman in this country. Next up her weight…44kg, damn metric system causing me to have no idea how much this is in pounds…all I know is it’s damn light. Since professional wrestlers being announced as weighing 215 pounds are subtitled as weighing 90 some-odd kilograms. She’s clearly less than a hundred pounds. 특기 is speciality or talent…or skill. 운동 is sports or exercise. Alright maybe she’s athletic, likes jogging, or shootin’ hoop. It’s something some people are good at and others are not. It’s a skill. But 포즈?! Oh, I’m sorry “pose.” Yup, she’s good at posing….that’s her talent. She’s highly skilled in getting ready to have pictures taken. Oh and the last part is boring, it just says that she’s currently attending Myeongji University. But posing?! Seriously…how is that a skill?

Now if you ever need to argue with a Red Sox baseball fan you can just be like, “At least no one on (insert your team here) lists posing as their talent!” Oh wait I’m confusing the baseball Red Sox with the singing Redsox. Whatever, go away I need to practice my poses!