西洋오랑캐

Good lord, that title looks like it should be attached to some horribly boring academic piece appearing in a stuffy academic journal about Asia! For those of you that could not tell by the frequent profanity and use of such expressions as “get my grub / eat / chow on,” we here at Kimchi & Me are far removed from the academics, peer reviews, and more often than not, reality. So what we are presenting today is something completely different.

As regular readers are already aware all Korea pop groups have to have some sort of gimmic. According to my friend, who is currently a law student at a university in Seoul, this is required under Korean law. Again, regular readers already know my stance on these gimmics, but for those of you that did not click any of the links above, let me give a brief review of my stance: I think all these gimmics are stupid. At this time I would like to modify my previous stance.

I recently became aware of a new singing group known as LPG. LPG stands for Long Pretty Girls (I don’t know what it really means either). This group first caught my attention not because they could sing particularly well, or their song was particularly memorable, but because I was informed that all the members were former Miss Koreas. While this report seems to be slightly exaggerated (two were in the Miss Korea contest but didn’t appear to win, another was in some unrelated beauty pagent, and the fourth seemed to be from some alternate reality Miss Korea contest), all the members are / were beauty queens and that’s what’s really important isn’t it?

See? There’s not a hag in the bunch of them! I can here you dissidents in the audience already, “But Wyatt, there are a lot of other singing groups out there…do we really need singing beauty queens?”

Yes, yes we do, especially when they are attempting to bring the can can to Korea! That’s right kids, in a world where most actor / singers stay in either the light weight pop song or the “I’m a total skank,” musical genres these women (or their musical overlords) are attempting to bring in a foreign style of dance / music that is nearly 200 years old. You have to give them some credit for that especially when the can can presents such awesomeness as this:

孔子曰: When dancing the can can in hotpants be sure to wear underwear with a smaller surface area that of the shorts you are wearing.

That’s right kids, these ladies are bringing the can can out of burlesque houses of 19th century France and into the living rooms of 21st century South Korea. For those of you that actually want to see and hear this all nonsense in action I present unto you, LPG bringing you 캉캉 (Kang Kang)! Enjoy!