The Trax - Rhapsody Rating: 1.4 Label: Avex Release Date: April 20, 2005 Relevant Links:
Seriously Japan, what is wrong with your music industry? Do people honestly pay $11 for two songs? That’s right kids, Korea’s favorite (or perhaps second favorite after Buzz) boy band with guitars are back with this single. The lads apparently have had more sucess in Japan than their native land, and therefore released this Japanese language single for their fans in Japan. Two songs, more than $11 US…these tunes better be the most awesome songs ever! Let’s check it out.
The very second the first of the two tracks, “Rhapsody,” kicks in it becomes painfully obvious that this is a rock ballad. The riff in the begining of the song isn’t that bad, but the song goes on far too long for my tastes. Rock ballads, if properly executed, can be decent, but this song is just over wrought and boring. Overall the song is very similar to the rock ballads of the hair metal bands of the 1980’s, only with Japanese lyrics.
The second track, “Vampire,” starts off sounding like something off a crappy Batman soundtrack with rediculously arranged “creepy” strings and someone announcing something that sounds like, “Ladies and gentlemen thank you for choosing vampire, but don’t do anything you’ll regret,” before they turn up the heavy metal knob in the production booth and kick out the jams rock and or roll style.
The song features some woman (or perhaps a really feminine sounding dude), proclaiming, “I need your love,” in the first verse while Jay Lee busts some crappy rap-rock lyrics. The chorus seems to have been written with that “screaming is good” mentality in the mind of the composer. As a whole the song does not really get that far away from something that would show up on a crappy superhero movie soundtrack, which is not a good thing.
All in all this CD is no where near worth the price of admission. $11 bucks for a couple of mediocre songs? Sorry kids no dice!
I don’t understand alot of Korean television. I mean, I understand the words coming out of the actors and actress’ mouths, but I don’t get the appeal of some of it. I don’t really understand how people jumping up and down screaming the same catchphrase week after week can be seen as funny to anyone other than some kindergarten students, yet that is exactly what most comedy programs here consist of. And then there are the dramas. While there are a couple shining stars in the realm of Korean drama, there’s also a lot of crap…and I mean a lot of crap.
So with that being said I don’t really watch much television. There are a couple game shows I’ll check out if only to see celebrities making asses of themselves for no reason, and there have been some mini-series and short lived sitcoms I have enjoyed, but recently I came across a program that I know has existed at least as long as I’ve been here, but never really watched until recently. That show is SBS’s outstanding show about animals entitled TV 동물농장 (TV Animal Farm).
By watching this show I realized a universal truth about humanity. While humor and what is funny will differ from culture to culture, all people find animals doing stupid things to be funny, aside from jerks in PETA who would probably have a sense of outrage at the things protrayed in this show. While a lot of American shows about wildlife are funny because of the hosts (Crocodile Hunter I’m talking to you buddy), TV 동물농장 has the animals on center stange to showcase their insanity.
The other thing I like about this particular show is that it’s not all wild and crazy animals. I mean some weeks there will be stories about zebras or elephants running roughshod on African mango farmers crops, but other times it will be about a dog that has some odd talent, or some woman’s pet cats. And then there was the story that really served as the impoteus for this post: the story of 스모모 (Sumomo).
Sumomo is a monkey that comes to us via the land of Hello Kitty and nasal abuse pornography, Japan. For reasons not fully explained the keepers of Sumomo have trained him to go shopping while accompanied by a pitbull. A pitbull which serves double duty as pack mule, and occassionally monkey stead. I don’t care what country you live in, a monkey buying cigarettes out of a vending machine is funny stuff.
You don’t believe me? Included below are two short clips of Sumomo in action. Additionally if any people living in Japan have any information on Sumomo (mainly how to write correctly write his name in Japanese) please feel free to drop some comments.
This clip explains Sumomo’s mission: to walk 5 kilometers to a supermarket and buy two bananas. He is distracted by an arcade before begining his trek.
This clip features Sumomo heading for the supermarket. He stops at a vending machine for a cold beverage, but accidently gets a pack of cigarettes. Finally he arrives at the shop and successfully completes his mission.
I’m not a slob…honest! I keep my room clean, I do my laundry, I wash dishes when they are dirty, and I scrub down the bathroom often. Yet for some reason there is often a foul, hell spawn odor eminating from one of the drains in my house. The stench is completely random appearing and disappearing without rhyme or reason. I can not assertain any logical reason for this horrific odor to exist, which makes combating it quite difficult…not that I have not tried my best!
With my heating problems of last week seemingly solved, this week found this foul fiend has decided to rear it’s ugly head once more. I have done everything in my power to stop this foul fiend, yet nothing seems to keep the beast at bay. At least once a week I pour the Korean equivalent to Draino (펑크린 in case anyone cares) down all my drains, which doesn’t really seem to help. I have positioned air freshners (냄새 먹는 하마 / “stench eating hippo” in case anyone cares), but the hippo is unable to consume all the foul odor rising from the drains. I am at my wits end.
I figure I have one option left: pouring some gas down the drains and dropping a lit match down there attempting to burn up whatever hellish demon dwells in my pipes. And if that doesn’t work, I may just have to call up a priest and attempt a exorcism to send the spawn of Satan dwelling in my plumbing back into the abyss from whence it came.
I debated long and hard as to weather or not to post this. There was a steel cage death match between my better judgement and my inner (mule)hole, and unfortunately after some interference from King Kong Bundy, the inner (mule)hole came out victorious. In addition to capturing the championship belt from my better judgement, the inner (mule)hole’s victory made me contractually obligated to post this.
I’m pretty sure that if there is such a place as hell I will be flying straight there upon my demise. But it’s not going to be those lower levels of hell that Dante’s Inferno waxed poetic about…no, I’ll end up in whatever circle of hell masturbators and used car salesmen end up in. Damn you inner (mule)hole!!! Damn you!!!
Anyhow, moving on…A few days back while waiting for someone at a subway station, I discovered this poster about the horrors of child abuse. Let’s take a closer look at some of the more ridiculous illustrations and mock them. In the process we’ll secure you your own spot in the inferno with me! Enjoy!
Here we see the horror of physical abuse. The question I have is if the guy has a baseball bat, why is he hitting the girl with his elbow? Wouldn’t a baseball bat be far more effective in laying the smack down?
Wait a second…that girl looks to be about 9 or 10 years old. What kind of dad needs a baseball bat to take a 9 year old girl out? That dude is seriously weak. It’s not like that little girl is magical, or a rhino, or on steroids. What the crap does he need the bat for?
Here we see a girl being molested by a large purple hand which looks surprisingly like the enemy from Zelda known asWallmaster.
Actually how rad would it be if that is what those scumbags actually looked like? Imagine an episode of Law and Order: SVU where the character Elliot is totally going nuts on a giant purple hand. Or if that dude on America’s Most Wanted was giving information on some sick pervert. “Witnesses described the pervert as a giant purple hand. If you have any information please call 1-800-America’s-Most-Wanted. Let’s get this big purple dirt bag off the streets before he can hurt any other kids!”
Anyhow to show that I am not totally a heartless bastard, I’ll provide a link to the National Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse here in Korea. There is a page in English for those of you with no knowledge of Korean. So if you or anyone you know is being abused, get help…man I feel like such a Public Service Announcement.
So Saturday evening I headed off to a wedding, and it was the single oddest wedding I have ever attended. To begin with on as we were riding the subway to the wedding venue, 진희 asks me, “신분증 있니? (Do you have your identifaction card?)”
“Yeah I have it. Why?”
“Oh we need it to get into the wedding.”
“Are you kidding?”
“No, see here, “진희 said and then showed me the wedding invitation. The invitation proclaimed that we did indeed need our identification cards.
“That’s odd. Why do we need id to get into a wedding?” I asked scratching my head in confusion.
“Oh…that because it’s at the Korean military college.”
That’s right we were headed off to a military college here in Korea to go attend a wedding…insanity was sure to follow, as if getting there wasn’t insane enough. First off the subway was having some sort of problem so a ride that would have normally taken 15 to 20 minutes ended up taking 30 or 40 minutes. After getting off the subway 진희 and I met up with one of her co-workers, and from there, the three of us got on a bus…a bus none of us had ever ridden before.
Eventually we got off the bus and began our trek towards the wedding hall…er Catholic church located at the military college. The weather was bitterly cold, and in reality we had no idea where we going. Eventually we found the school. Before we could go on campus we had to go through a check point with gun weilding dudes. They then motioned us over to a bus, since we couldn’t walk up to the church…we had to ride the bus.
After a short bus ride we arrived at the church and entered, fashionably late. Since this was a church wedding (and involved one American) it was a pretty standard issue wedding…until the priest, minister, mini-boss pope, whatever the Catholic church’s wedding overlord is called announced, “And now the bride’s brother is going to play a song.”
I assumed that said brother would sit down at a piano or organ and play some sort of classical music, but instead her brother sat down at a chair weilding a saxophone and began wailing on “Hey Jude.” During the “na na na nananana” outro part, 진희 leaned over and asked me, “When we get married will one of your siblings play a song.”
Now, the only person in my immediate family with any sort of musical talent is my brother…and the instrument with which he has some ammount of prowess is that romantic instrument, the drum. So I ask 진희 if she really wanted to hear the drum solo from “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” at her wedding…she did not, though I can’t imagine why.
The wedding was nice, and at the conclusion of the wedding, there was traditional wedding nonsense: food, drinks, food, photos, and throwing a bouquet (a bouquet which was caught by my girlfriend). During the reception, various people approached me to inform me that I now had 3 months in which to get married. This is the first time I have ever heard of these sort of time limits attached to catching a bouquet at a wedding. I had always been under the impression that catching said bouquet just meant that you, the catcher of the bouquet, would simply be the next one in that group to get married. So dear readers please enlight me on the post-bouquet catching protocol (or tell me that I am right in my understanding of this procedure).
Back to the wedding, following the bouquet catching, we seriously chowed down buffet style. The spread was awesome: meat, fish, spaghetti, 탕수육, 회 (raw fish…more commonly known in the west as sashimi), and then there was 육회. 육회, my dear readers, is a dish which consists of um…raw beef. That’s it. It’s raw beef, and I ate it. The taste of raw beef wasn’t really that unfamiliar to me, since I was used to eating steaks my father “cooked.” However, unlike those steaks, 육회 was served ice cold…so it was kind of like a meat popsickle. Anyhow I personally prefered raw beef to the raw fish, but that’s just me (if it’s not just me bellow about it in the comments section).
After throughly gourging ourselves, 진희, her co-worker, and I bid the married couple adieu and congratulations, and then headed home. Unfortunately there was no bus back from the church, so we began the long frigid hike back to the bus stop. As we were walking a car pulled up along side us, apparently thinking that 진희 was a different girl, which worked to our advantage as they ended up giving us a ride to the subway station. Thanking them, we boarded the rails and headed home to our respective homes.
So after providing you with some random crap music from North Korea yesterday, today I thought it would behove me to present to you some South Korean tunes. No, this is not like other times when I presented videos that were nearly painful. Today I present unto you some fine Korean indie rock brought to you by the lads (and lass) of 몽니 (Monni). The following video was recorded at the 2005 Ssamzie Sound Festival. Enjoy kids!
A couple of days ago (on Tuesday evening to be precise), I recieved a phone call from 진희.
“My father has the day off and wants to go up to Namsan Tower with us if you have time.”
“Alright where should we meet?”
“Come to Jongoro 3ga, my dad will pick us up there.”
So I headed off to Jongro and rendez-voused with my girlfriend, who informed me that her younger sister would be coming along as well.
We found her father standing by his cab and headed off for adventure with her father explaining how very cold it was that day (it was true), and offering cookies and canned coffee and gum to those riding in the cab.
A short while later we arrived at Namsan, where we were going to ride a cable car up to the tower.
After a short way too crowded ride in the cable car we were at the tower. The tower and the view of the city from the tower were quite spectacular at night. One really doesn’t grasp just how large a city is until one can see the entire thing. The only problem is you don’t get to see the entire, inspite of the fact that I took countless pictures. Apparently my camera is like a kindergarten student in that it is deathly afraid of the dark, and any pictures taken under these conditions look like utter crap.
Anyhow after strolling around on the observation deck of the tower for awhile it was time to eat. We headed off in the cab to a 설렁탕 restaurant, and from there I returned to my homestead where I discovered my lack of heat…
Do you ever find yourself at karaoke night in Pyeongyang, North Korea, with no idea what to sing? Perhaps you are the kind of music fan that must stop liking a band the minute more than three people have heard of them, and at present have no artist to follow. Today we here at Kimchi & Me offer solutions to both these problems. Enjoy, “림진강” as sung by 조청미. For those of you looking for a tune to impression your communist hosts in the North, the tune comes complete with sing-a-long lyrics. For those ironic indie music fans, I can promise you in all certainty that no one you will ever encounter has heard of this tune (unless of course they too are Kimchi & Me readers…or former North Korea residents). So anyhow…Comrades, let us sing for a strong nation!
I was never bad at math persay, but I was not overly interested in the numerical arts and therefore after taking my general education required math courses in my first year of college I stopped studying anything number related,* and you know how the saying goes, “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” For this reason I now need a calculator to do even the most basic math functions. That being said, I am completely unable to solve these word problems…so I’m turning it over to any mathamagicians that may be in the audience. Be sure to show all work.
1. A bus seat can seat 5 people in comfortable fashion. The bus seat has 4 Korean men each approximately 5′9″ and 160-170 pounds, and 1 American man approximately 6′2″ and 180 pounds. Under what laws of physics does the American take up the least amount of space?
2. A bus is traveling at 100km per hour and turns a corner. What amount of centripetal force must be present to make it acceptable for the old man falling out of the seat to grab my crotch to prevent himself from falling on his ass?
* In reality I did study some number related materials such as these 漢字: 千, 萬, 億 but we’re just spliting hairs now…
Yesterday started like every other day. I woke up watched some crappy television for a bit and then it was time to get ready to head off to Korean class. Now this is where the day went from being fairly normal to being odd. When I turned on the hot water in the shower, nothing came out. “Wow, that’s nice…frozen pipes!” I thought to myself. I didn’t have enough time to wait around for pipes to thaw, so it was the coldest shower on earth and then I was off to adventure.
Fast fowarding 14 hours I arrived back home (after some truly insane adventures that will be discussed at a later date) to find that whatever it was that had rendered my hot water useless earlier in the day had apparently spread to my heater. “(Making Sweet Sweet Love)! What am I going to do? I know! 집주인 (The landlord) will save my ass!”
So I dial up the landlord. “We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service. Please hang up and try again!” Apparently the landlord changed his number without alerting me. So I walked across the hall and knocked on the door. I asked my neighbor if she had the landlord’s new phone number. She didn’t, but her 오빠 (either live in boyfriend or actual older brother did)…and he wasn’t home. She called him and a minute later he sent her a message with the landlord’s number. She asked me what the trouble was. I explained that I had no hot water in the morning, and now I had no heat.
“Oh you’re going to be really cold. Do you have an electric blanket? No?! Do you want to borrow one until the heat is turned back on?”
“Let me call first. If he can fix it tonight (not likely since it was 11:30pm), I don’t need it.”
I dialed the landlord and as I figured there was nothing that could be done until tomorrow at the earliest. My neighbor lent me the electric blanket and I was on my way to sleep through the coldest night of the year (thus far) with no heat.
The electric blanket got the job done, and I awoke safe and sound in the morning (read as I didn’t freeze to death or get electrocuted by the blanket). With sleep out of the way, I was faced with my next task: showering. Since the prior day I had taken the hobo shower, I felt as though it would be in my best interest to actually do things like wash my hair, but with when I turned on my shower, ice cubes shot out of the shower head, thus putting the kabosh on the shower.
Unfortunately I still stank. I had an idea. I went into the kitchen and got a large pot, filled it was water and heated it. (Note to self: boiling water is really hot. It is not a good idea to put your finger in the water to see how warm it is). Several minutes later when the water had cooled off I was able to wash my hair and give myself a quick scrub down. Serious amounts of deodorant were applied, and I headed off to adventure.
Were this any other country, working or even riding the subway would offer a respit from the frigid conditions I had endured the night before, but not in Korea. Most buildings: stores, schools, restaurants, ect. are without any sort of central heating, which is why were you to walk around from shop to shop in Seoul today you would see countless clerks bundled up like eskimos huddled around space heaters (at present I am in my office at school wearing a parka, a winter cap, and gloves [any typos can be blamed on said gloves]).
The subways are no better. This morning while waiting at a particular subway station for my train I felt a cold draft blowing into me. Looking up I came to understand exactly what it was. The air conditioner was on! I am not even kidding.
Anyhow, it’s another cold day, and I hope to Jesus, Mohammad, or Buddha (or all three) that my heater has been repaired by the time I return home this evening. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
Sunday afternoon Jinhui and I met up at Moran station and headed off to the library to return some books. As we walked towards the library she informed me that on the docket for today we would be traveling to Hwaseong in the city of Suwon after our library adventures.
For those of you with limited knowledge of Hwaseong allow me to get all historic upon you. Hwaseong is / was a fortress constructed under the orders of King Jeongjo in the 18th century. The structure took approximately two years to complete. I learned that among the parties responsible for the construction was a fellow named 金大老味 (literally 김대노미). In learning this I discovered that in antiquity, 놈 (which at present means ‘bastard’) could be written in 漢字 as 老味, and it’s always awesome when one learns such nonsense. Anyhow back to the history lesson…during the Korean War the place was severely damage and or totally destroyed (depending on the sources you read). In 1975 the Korean government rebuilt the entire structure. The site is now a UNESCO World Hertiage site. Wow! That seems exciting. Let’s check it out!
Basically it’s a wall. A long wall. A really long wall. So what is there to see and do at good old Hwaseong? Well you can walk. There’s a spot that offers a really nice view of the city of Suwon. There are some statues and monuments to various wars, generals, and kings. There are flags and cannons. But the thing that blew all this history right out of the water was the bathroom.
Being a UNESCO World Heritage site sure offers up some nice perks. The bathroom was seriously nicer than my house. There was hot and cold running water, soothing music piped in, a shower, and an outstanding view…which is more than can be said for the place I’m living now.
The streets of 신촌 (Shinchon) are eeriely quiet at 8 o’clock on a Saturday morning. Completely devoid of human life, one might mistake it for a ghost town if it were not for the piles of vomit that dotted the sidewalk. In the early morning light, I made my way to the subway station and headed off towards 청량리, where it had been pre-arranged that I would meet 진희, board a train, and head out of the city and spend the day on the island. All in all it seemed like a perfectly lovely plan, but life is weird and so and I.
Part The First: “I’m On The Corner of First and First”
I was riding the rails bound for 청량리 and had just finished eat a ham and cheese sandwich I had purchased at a convenient store. With breakfast out of the way, I was hard at work studying some 漢字. The middle aged man seated next to me glanced over at what I was doing, and then began to write 漢字 on the palm of his hand with the index finger of the opposite hand. As the man and I practiced writing 興 (흥할 흥), he on his hand, and I in my 漢字 notebook, my cellular phone rang.
“Hello?” I answered.
My girlfriend’s voice responded to my greeting, “Hi honey!” and then enquired, “Where are you?”
“Uhh…” I struggled to see around the head of the large woman seated across from me, “동대문 I think.”
“Alright…I made a mistake. There are two 청량리 stations.”
I took my trusty subway map from my wallet and unfolded it on my lap. She was right! There were in fact two 청량리 stations. My girlfriend went on to explain that I did not need to go to the first (closer) 청량리, but instead had to ride to the station after the first 청량리 to the next station (회기) and transfer to a different line, and then ride one station to the second 청량리. It seemed simple enough, so I told my girlfriend that it would be fine, and that I would see her shortly.
The train rolled into 청량리 #1, but instead of carrying on the 회기 the train driver decided it would be as good a time as any to have a cup of coffee and a smoke and kicked everyone off the train. I looked at my watch. It was a little after 9 o’clock, so I still had more than enough time to get to my destination. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. Nearly fifteen minutes passed before the next train arrived. I boarded the train and we headed off towards 회기. On the train I noticed some students doing quadratic equations, so I decided that I should probably work out some math problems on the palm of my hand as well.
As I was trying to solve for x the train came to a hault. The conductor bellowed something, but I could not hear him over the tunes that were pumping on my mp3 player, but I assumed the announcement was something along the lines of, “You jerks could probably walk to the station faster…HA! HA! HA!” Ten more minutes pass and then the train limped to the next station. I rushed off to transfer and was able to catch the train with fairly little difficulty, which kind of surprised me. The train rolled down the tracks at the speed of something of moderate speed, and a meer 5 minutes later I arrived at my destination…or so I thought.
In reality, I did not end up in some second 청량리, but back at the same station I had departed some 15 minutes earlier. I called my girlfriend and was throughly confused. She had apparently arrived at the other version of 청량리, but I was not sure how she was able to do so. She told me to go check out. I looked the station map over and saw that there was a train station at exit number four. I exited at met my girlfriend outside. Apparently the two different 청량리 stations were about a two minute walk away from each other…
We went into the train station and purchased our tickets. Two one way tickets from Seoul to 가평 (Gapyeong), a town located about an hour and a half away, ended up costing us ￦7,000 (about $7US), which leads me to this proclaimation, “Amtrack you guys suck! $40 to go from upstate New York to the City? What the (make sweet sweet love) is wrong with you?!” After waiting around in the train station for a bit someone screamed “All aboard!” (or something similar in Korean) and it was time to board the train headed for Gapyeong.
Part The Next: “Goin’ Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!”
At approximately 10:15, 진희 and I were pulling out of the train station bound for 가평. The train ride in and of itself was fairly uneventful, though the train was kind of crowded. Apparently the ￦3,500 ticket does not insure one will get a seat on the train. Fortunately the tickets we had purchased had seat numbers so we did not have to stand for the hour and a half it took to travel there. For some reason the guys in front of us decided to have a feast while taking the train out of the city. There were hamburgers, 김밥 (kimbab), eggs, and oranges…all within the course of an hour.
After some time, we were in 가평, a town which made the berg I teach in look absolutely metropolitian. A wind blew clouds of dust into our faces as we walked from the train station to the bus depot to catch a bus the the island we were planning on visiting. As luck would have it we got to the bus stop as the bus was pulling out. We checked the bus schedule and learned that we would have to wait two hours for the next bus, so we decided that it would be in our best interest to take a cab.
Apparently the city of 가평 failed 12th grade economics. Everywhere I have ever been in the world works on the economic principle that living in a city is going to drain your money, while living in the countryside gives you more bang for your buck. It’s the basic reason why people live in the suburbs and commute to work in major metropolitian areas. Taxis in Seoul have a base fare of ￦1,800 (the last time I checked), while cabs in Gapyeong started at ￦2,800, which was kind of odd, since chances are people in Gapyeong are making less than those working in Seoul.
A short, five minute cab ride later we were at the docks purchasing tickets for a ferry bound for the island known as 남이섬 (Nami Island). As I plunked down my ￦10,000 on the counter for two tickets I noticed a small sign warning, “산타조 조심하세요 (Please be careful of the wild ostriches),” complete with a cartoon drawing of an angry ostrich. I scoffed at the sign and 진희 and I boarded the ferry boat.
The short cab ride lead me to wonder why was it that the buses only ran every two hours. Even if there was only one actual bus, the round trip from the terminal to the island would be roughly 10 to 20 minutes…a far cry from the two hour time table they were running on. These thoughts were short lived as we were soon docking on a island.
Part The Part After Part The Next: Asian Tourists A Go-Go
Arriving on the island of 남이섬, my girlfriend and I disembarked from the ferry and heard a din of foreign languages that neither of us could not understand in the least.
“What’s going on here? Why are there so many Japanese and Chinese tourists on this island which is seemingly in the middle of nowhere?” I inquired of my girlfriend.
For those of you not living in Asia, 겨울연가 was a Korean soap opera that for some reason was viewed as being the greatest thing since sliced bread rice across much of Asia. A lot of this popularity was due to the male star of the show, one 배용준 (Bae Yong-jun). More commonly known by his Japanese title, Yong-sama (even in his home country), Mr. Bae is extremely popular with the middle aged women of Japan and Hong Kong for some reason, which made the island on which we stood quite the tourist spot for people of these lands.
However there was a lot more to the island than simply, “That’s where (insert plot item X from 겨울연가) happened!” 진희 and I traveled around the island, which was actually quite pretty. There were a lot of things there that living in a city, I haven’t seen in quite some time…things like trees, and grass, and animals. So we took a lot of pictures, which those of you inclined to do so can see here.
But like I said, there was a lot of other junk going on at this island. Forget the nature, forget Yong-sama…you know what every tourist attraction island need? Ostriches! That’s right kids, this island was home to a clan of ostriches…ostriches that walked around amongst the general population. Earlier in my life I had some experience with large flightless birds, but apparently Koreans did not. The ostrich on the loose proceeded to scare the (bowel movement) out of various Korean women with its pile of hay-like body, reptilian legs, and stupid snake Muppet looking neck and head (complete with rediculous beak that sounded like castanettes when opening and closing). Words and pictures could really not do justice to the insanity which was this encounter, which is why I bring this shocking footage to your attention.
But that wasn’t all! If Yong-sama, nature, and ostrich attacks aren’t quite your thing, perhaps you would enjoy the traditional folk music, or old school Korean junk food (stuff that went back at least as far as 진희’s childhood), or the bicycle rides, or even the countless benches that are scattered across the island. After spending a good 3+ hours wandering around, wondering why this island also housed a museum dedicated to Thomas Edison and his inventions, we decided we’d had enough and it was time to take a ferry back to the mainland and get some dinner.
Part The Part After The Part After…Aw Forget This!: Talk About A One Trick Pony
It was roughly 5:00 in the evening and I was sitting in the bus terminal in the podunk town of Gapyeong. Again we had just missed a bus and would have to wait 15 to 20 minutes for the next bus to arrive. I sat waiting in a chair next to some middle school girls who based on their responses to seeing me, had more likely than not had never seen a caucasian person before in their lives.
As 진희 and I had taken the ferry back from the island, she mentioned that a nearby town was famous throughout Korea for a dish known as 닭갈비 (Dalk Kalbi). This is a dish we both enjoy, so the decision was made to head to the town, 춘천 (Chuncheon) to have the original / best 닭갈비 in all of Korea. As I squashed my legs into a bus seat an American toddler would have been uncomfortable sitting in, I began to question the logic of this decission.
Some thirty minutes later we arrived in Chuncheon, though my legs were under the impression the trip had take 30 years. The entire town had a look that just hollered, “We are famous for a chicken dish and little else.” We hopped on a city bus and headed off for Chuncheon’s version of 명동 (Myeongdong), which was not to be confused with the Myeongdong in Seoul.
Myeongdong consisted solely of 닭갈비 restaurants and stores selling 한복 (hanbok, the traditional Korean clothes). That was it. After briefly considering our options, 진희 and I selected a restaurant on 닭갈비골목 (Dalkalbi Street) claiming to be the 원조 (元祖 / original) 춘천닭갈비, and entered, prepared to get our eat on. In all fairness, the 닭갈비 in 춘천 (or at least this particular restaurant) blew the 닭갈비 I’d consumed in Seoul out of the water. It was outstanding!
Shortly after our arrival, a busload of Chinese tourists came in…again I was perplexed. “Why is there a busload of Chinese tourists here?”
“Because they filmed 겨울연가 here too.”
I glanced over at the foodstuffs of the Chinese tourists were consuming. The normally spicy red 닭갈비 was basically white. Now that’s good eating! After dinner, we decided that it was time to head back to Seoul, but first we had to find the train station. We hopped on another city bus and asked the bus driver where the station was. He barked out that he would tell us when to get off in the angriest voice I have heard in my life. Later he let us off at non-offical bus stop and wished us luck. “He was a really kind bus driver…but sounded so angry!”
A short walk later we were at the train station, we had our tickets, and just had to wait for the boarding announcement. Finally we were on the train. The car we were in was relatively empty. There were a couple of 20-something Korean dudes eating fried chicken, and some married couple behind us, and some old men. It was great, a nice quiet ride home! We can sleep, it will be awesome! WRONG!
Shortly before the train departed a group of loud ass Canadians got on the train. Now I don’t know if this was just because I could understand everything they were saying so it was harder to tune them out, or if they were actually louder than most Koreans, but they were extremely annoying. 진희 was able to fall asleep, I on the other hand was treated to 2 hours of annoying conversations, fun facts about Canada, and horrific butchering of Korean place names (Sinchun, Gan-name). Anyhow we eventually got back to Seoul none the worse for wear.
The Opposite of a Prologue
So for people who somehow ended up here looking for actual tourist information, allow me first to apologize. Next up, was the trip worth it? Hells yeah! Though the island of 남이섬 (Nami Island) is not really a place to go without a significant other unless you happen to be a huge Yong-sama fan, and if that’s the case…more power to you! All in all the trip was an extremely decent way to spend a day. Check it out if you are so inclined.
I’m not really a fan of getting my hair done, but since I don’t want a mullet, from time to time I must make a pilgrimage to the hair salon and get a chop. So it was with great loathing yesterday morning that I headed off to my local hair shop to get something done about the early stage mullet that had developed. Usually the place I go is pretty decent. They are quick and don’t waste time chatting with me.
But yesterday my experience was something different. I don’t know if it was because the girl who cut my hair was new or what, but instead of taking the usual 30 minutes or so to cut and wash my hair, this trip took well over an hour. Perhaps she had never encountered a caucasian’s hair before and found it to be fascinating, or perhaps she was just really serious about her craft and instead of giving me a hair cut gave me a hair style, but the way she cut my hair pissed me off. Instead of cutting my hair off in big chunks, she cut the hair off in microscopic portions, thus increasing the total time of the hair cut ten fold.
Years later when she was actually finished cutting my hair she lead me over to the sink to wash my hair. Again this took way entirely too much time. Hair shops (and every other shop for that matter) are all about providing “service” (서비스) as a means of attracting repeat clientele. For those of you who know me, or think you know me, know, I hate wasting time. When I go to a hair salon, I’m going for a hair cut. I have a girlfriend now, if I want someone to massage my scalp I’ll ask her to do that. Also since I’m not 6 years old anymore, I can clean my own ears out and don’t need someone else doing that for me.
However, the thing that irked me the most about this trip to the salon was the fact that the woman cutting my hair didn’t listen to me. When I sat down in the chair we had a conversation like this (only in Korean):
HER: Do you use wax? (editor’s note: When did junk like mousse become known as wax? Or is that just a Korean thing?) ME: No. I don’t use wax. HER: Ok so I won’t use any wax then. ME: Thank you. I don’t like wax…it makes my hair feel hard. HER: Alright, I understand.
So after the wash, ear cleaning, scalp massage, I sat down in the chair again, and she dried my hair and then began to apply wax. Now in all fairness in the six years I was in the chair I forgot a lot of stuff as well. Even after I enquired as to what she was doing and told her I didn’t need wax, she was like, “Oh I forgot…well it’s already in your hair now, so I’ll just style it.” “Fine.”
Below is was my hair looked like after the styling.
Wait, I’m not an Asian person…so my hair looked more like this:
I’m not a fan of anime, and I certainly don’t want to look like Guile from Street Fighter 2, and I want my hair to be soft for my girlfriend. Seriously, who want to run their hands through a head of hair that feels like a porcupine? Also to me dudes that put hella gunk in their hair always seemed like they were trying to hard…like those sleaze bag guys at night clubs with a dress shirt half unbuttoned and gold chains…another reason I don’t want that crap in my hair. Which leads me to my conclusion…the fine people at Ronco had the right idea when they created the Flowbee.
So perhaps I need to contact my local Flowbee dealer and see about getting myself a Flowbee to avoid future frustration. But I jest, I jest. In all reality my hair (once I got the wax out) turned out really well…and I no longer have to worry about people thinking, “Who’s that crazy bastard with a mullet on his skull?” when they see me.
Well, another weekend has come and gone in the blink of an eye. Saturday morning 진희 arrived at my homestead to drop off some food she and her mother had made the night before. 진희 had to work on Saturday, and I had to meet with a language partner, so we walked to the subway station together and headed off to our various destinations, planning to meet later that evening.
After a short subway ride, I met up with a language partner and conversed and ate donuts and drank coffee…not a bad way to spend a Saturday morning when one’s girlfriend has to work. Saturday evening rolled around and I met up with 진희 and one of her friends in 신촌 (Shinchon) to have some dinner. After consuming some 설렁탕, her friend bid us adieu.
진희 and I did some window shopping at the Hyundai Department Store in 신촌, and were planning to go check out a movie, but the theater near the subway station had been closed down for some reason.
With the movie theater being non-existant, we headed back towards my neighborhood where we were going to rent a video. As we walked home it started to snow a little bit. In the two years plus years I’d lived here it has snowed a couple times, but rare is the day when the snow ammounts to anything.
So we walked to the video shop to pick up a DVD. 진희 wanted to check out the Jackie Chan flick 神話 (”The Myth” in English), but that flick was unavalible, so we ended up getting Catwoman. The film was pretty standard superhero movie fare, except it had a cosmetics company as the enemy forces.
Following the film, it was time for 진희 to catch a bus back to her homestead, so we walked outside and were greeted with this winter wonderland (see picture on the right hand side). It was almost as if some higher power was like, “Yo Wyatt, you jerk, it’s the Christmas season now…send your friggin’ Christmas cards and presents out, you lazy bum!”
So 진희 caught her bus home and I returned to my homestead. (END ACT 1)
The following morning I awoke and looked out the window to see that there was still a fair ammount of snow outside on the roads and rooftops. Shortly after I woke up, my phone rang. It was my girlfriend. She had mention a possible trip with a friend the night before and an inability to see me, so I figured this was just the, “have a great day honey,” kind of phone call before she set off, but it was not.
Skipping the pleasantries and the “Did you eat breakfast yet?” at the start of the conversation, the meat of the matter was this: her friend never called her (and would answer her phone) so the trip was off. So…would I be interested in going mountain climbing with her parents?
“Sure, what time?”
“We’ll meet at 강남 station at 12:30 and my father will drive us to the mountain.”
“Great!”
After hanging up the phone, I took a shower and then brushed up on some honorifics and conversational Korean. Unlike my first (and I guess second) meeting with 진희’s mother, this time I was going to be prepared.
So after studying for a couple hours, I threw on a parka and headed out to go and meet the parents.
Walking out of my apartment, I was accosted by some of my neighbors looking for assistance pushing a car up a hill. The motley assortment of Korean college dude, random white guy, old man, middle aged woman, and guy in a pinstripped suit pushing a tiny Matiz up an icy hill had to make me laugh, but once it was at the top I had to haul ass to 강남. A short time later, I was there and meeting up with a taxi full of 진희’s family. Her father was a lot more jovial and easy going than her mother, so it was a lot easier to chat with him than it was to chat with her mother. This was made even easier due to the fact that he was all about trying to speak with me in English.
Anyhow, we arrived at the mountain, 청계산 and began our ascent. The weather was crisp and the air was clear, and the mountains and trees looked a lot like a Christmas card. So we walked up the mountain and got our chat on. Her parents interrogated me further as we hiked. At the top of the mountain, it was time for some lunch…컵라면 (see photo at right)!!! After lunch we began our descent down the mountain. At the base her father asked what the game plan was, and then suggested a trip to 남한산.
진희 and I had planned to go from a 남한산 hike in October, but due to some poor directions, and a lack of maps ended up going up an entirely different mountain. So we agreed to head out there.
As we drove in her father’s cab, he played a tape of “old pop,” which was basically America top 40 from the late 1950s and early 1960s.
We arrived at the mountain and began hiking. 남한산, unlike some other mountain ranges here in Korea had a nicely paved walking path, which we took. At the top of the mountain, there was a fortress, the appropriately named 남한산성 (Namhan Mountain Fortress). There are more pictures of that venue here.
Anyhow at the aforemention fortress, I witnessed some 무당 getting down to business, which was extremely odd. After seeing 무당, a 350 year old tree, and a fortress where some dudes faught “Manchus” (isn’t it Manchurians) in the 17th century, we headed on down the mountain, and chowed down on some chicken and porridge.
Dinner was decent, though 진희’s father kept telling me to eat more…until the point of bursting. Following dinner, 진희’s parents headed home, while she and I went shopping a bit. I picked up a birthday present for 진희 and some Christmas gifts for my family, and then we called it a night.
So now it’s two members of her family down, one to go.
This post is the offical kick off of the Christmas season here at Kimchi & Me, so we are doing things up in style, and without Charlie Brown and Linus bumming everyone out about how over commercialized Christmas is!
Yesterday after a long day of working for the man, I met up with 진희 in 명동 (Myeong-dong) for some dinner and assorted other dating type nonsense. We ate at a restaurant specializing in 시골밥상 (”country table”) cuisine, which was basically rice, 된장찌개 (dwenjang jjigae which is a stew made from the paste better known in the west as miso), and 반찬 (banchan aka side dishes). There are a ton of 반찬 in Korea, some I’m all about, some are alright, and there are some I loath. This particular restaurant offered up a meal consisting of 반찬’s greatest hits. It was awesome!
After dinner we headed to a tea house that had an entire menu consisting of things made from green tea. Somehow I ended up with a latte made of green tea and sweet potato that tasted a lot better than that sounds. At the tea house we studied some Korean (basically went over some homework that I had to do for class, and read a newspaper). When the tea house suddenly became disco inferno hot, we bailed out and went for a stroll in the cool frigid December night air.
As we walked we happened upon the Lotte Department Store. Perhaps “happened upon” isn’t really the best choice of words since it’s a huge building on the main road, but I digress. We saw this building totally decked out in Christmas lights and decided to head over to snap some pictures. Unfortunately only I had a camera, and my camera has an unnatural fear of the dark and only likes to take really crappy photos after nightfall. But a few of the pictures we took turned out alright and were posted here (for those of you that enjoy such things).
Since there was a big international hotel attached to the department store, there were a lot of tourists chilling out there. Including one weird dude who was either from Thailand or Taiwan (I forget, but it was an Asian country starting with the letter T) who would serve as a photographer for people wanting to take group pictures and than have young Korean ladies take their picture with him.
After taking a bunch of pictures that didn’t really turn out all that well, and making a plan to return with better photographic equipment, and a third person to serve as a photographer, 진희 and I called it a night.
But the Christmas lunacy isn’t over yet kids! Oh no, not by a long shot!
I have decided to get into the Christmas spirit. The Christmas spirit has decided to manifest itself in me by causing me to take pictures of fake plastic Christmas trees in and around the city I live in, Seoul South Korea. The plan is to post a picture of a tree a day until Santa arrives. You can enjoy these pictures here.
Sunday November 27, 2005 was an action packed day of taking pictures posing with various statues. Oh and there was alcohol…lots of alcohol.
The day began innocently enough with 진희 and I meeting for lunch in 모란 (Moran). After another encounter with her mother on the streets of 모란 we headed to an eatery and chowed down upon some 만두 (mandu), 오뎅 (odeng), and 참치찌개 (chamchi jjigae).
Lunch left a surprisingly small dent in our wallets, and from there we headed to a library, where we checked out some books.
After the library, the plan was to meet up with some friends at 6:00, have some dinner, and some drinks. So that’s exactly what we did. If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain…er like pictures of me posed in front of various statues, or drinking with random people you don’t know check this out!
