西洋오랑캐

Yesterday started like every other day. I woke up watched some crappy television for a bit and then it was time to get ready to head off to Korean class. Now this is where the day went from being fairly normal to being odd. When I turned on the hot water in the shower, nothing came out. “Wow, that’s nice…frozen pipes!” I thought to myself. I didn’t have enough time to wait around for pipes to thaw, so it was the coldest shower on earth and then I was off to adventure.

Fast fowarding 14 hours I arrived back home (after some truly insane adventures that will be discussed at a later date) to find that whatever it was that had rendered my hot water useless earlier in the day had apparently spread to my heater. “(Making Sweet Sweet Love)! What am I going to do? I know! 집주인 (The landlord) will save my ass!”

So I dial up the landlord. “We’re sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service. Please hang up and try again!” Apparently the landlord changed his number without alerting me. So I walked across the hall and knocked on the door. I asked my neighbor if she had the landlord’s new phone number. She didn’t, but her 오빠 (either live in boyfriend or actual older brother did)…and he wasn’t home. She called him and a minute later he sent her a message with the landlord’s number. She asked me what the trouble was. I explained that I had no hot water in the morning, and now I had no heat.

“Oh you’re going to be really cold. Do you have an electric blanket? No?! Do you want to borrow one until the heat is turned back on?”

“Let me call first. If he can fix it tonight (not likely since it was 11:30pm), I don’t need it.”

I dialed the landlord and as I figured there was nothing that could be done until tomorrow at the earliest. My neighbor lent me the electric blanket and I was on my way to sleep through the coldest night of the year (thus far) with no heat.

The electric blanket got the job done, and I awoke safe and sound in the morning (read as I didn’t freeze to death or get electrocuted by the blanket). With sleep out of the way, I was faced with my next task: showering. Since the prior day I had taken the hobo shower, I felt as though it would be in my best interest to actually do things like wash my hair, but with when I turned on my shower, ice cubes shot out of the shower head, thus putting the kabosh on the shower.

Unfortunately I still stank. I had an idea. I went into the kitchen and got a large pot, filled it was water and heated it. (Note to self: boiling water is really hot. It is not a good idea to put your finger in the water to see how warm it is). Several minutes later when the water had cooled off I was able to wash my hair and give myself a quick scrub down. Serious amounts of deodorant were applied, and I headed off to adventure.

Were this any other country, working or even riding the subway would offer a respit from the frigid conditions I had endured the night before, but not in Korea. Most buildings: stores, schools, restaurants, ect. are without any sort of central heating, which is why were you to walk around from shop to shop in Seoul today you would see countless clerks bundled up like eskimos huddled around space heaters (at present I am in my office at school wearing a parka, a winter cap, and gloves [any typos can be blamed on said gloves]).

The subways are no better. This morning while waiting at a particular subway station for my train I felt a cold draft blowing into me. Looking up I came to understand exactly what it was. The air conditioner was on! I am not even kidding.

Anyhow, it’s another cold day, and I hope to Jesus, Mohammad, or Buddha (or all three) that my heater has been repaired by the time I return home this evening. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.