西洋오랑캐

I debated long and hard as to weather or not to post this. There was a steel cage death match between my better judgement and my inner (mule)hole, and unfortunately after some interference from King Kong Bundy, the inner (mule)hole came out victorious. In addition to capturing the championship belt from my better judgement, the inner (mule)hole’s victory made me contractually obligated to post this.

I’m pretty sure that if there is such a place as hell I will be flying straight there upon my demise. But it’s not going to be those lower levels of hell that Dante’s Inferno waxed poetic about…no, I’ll end up in whatever circle of hell masturbators and used car salesmen end up in. Damn you inner (mule)hole!!! Damn you!!!

Anyhow, moving on…A few days back while waiting for someone at a subway station, I discovered this poster about the horrors of child abuse. Let’s take a closer look at some of the more ridiculous illustrations and mock them. In the process we’ll secure you your own spot in the inferno with me! Enjoy!

Here we see the horror of physical abuse. The question I have is if the guy has a baseball bat, why is he hitting the girl with his elbow? Wouldn’t a baseball bat be far more effective in laying the smack down?

Wait a second…that girl looks to be about 9 or 10 years old. What kind of dad needs a baseball bat to take a 9 year old girl out? That dude is seriously weak. It’s not like that little girl is magical, or a rhino, or on steroids. What the crap does he need the bat for?

Here we see a girl being molested by a large purple hand which looks surprisingly like the enemy from Zelda known asWallmaster.

Actually how rad would it be if that is what those scumbags actually looked like? Imagine an episode of Law and Order: SVU where the character Elliot is totally going nuts on a giant purple hand. Or if that dude on America’s Most Wanted was giving information on some sick pervert. “Witnesses described the pervert as a giant purple hand. If you have any information please call 1-800-America’s-Most-Wanted. Let’s get this big purple dirt bag off the streets before he can hurt any other kids!”

Anyhow to show that I am not totally a heartless bastard, I’ll provide a link to the National Center for the Prevention of Child Abuse here in Korea. There is a page in English for those of you with no knowledge of Korean. So if you or anyone you know is being abused, get help…man I feel like such a Public Service Announcement.