西洋오랑캐

This morning a received a series of phone calls that were most odd. These calls came in on my home phone, a phone that I normally do not answer. No one that would call me has that number, save for my parents, but they don’t usually go about calling me at 10:00 on a Thursday. So as I was saying, I usually don’t answer that phone, but my wife was in the shower and we were expecting a package so I was told to answer the phone should it ring…since apparently the Korean version of the UPS man calls your house before dropping off a package to make sure someone is there to get it.

So needless to say, no sooner had the water started running in the bathroom the phone started ringing. I answered and thus began one of the oddest phone calls I had ever been involved in.

ME: Hello?

STRANGE WOMAN: Uh yes, where are you?

ME: Where am I?

STRANGE WOMAN: Yes, where are you?

ME: I’m in Yong-in?

STRANGE WOMAN: No…not you, your phone!

ME: My phone is also with me in Yong-in…this should be clear since I am talking to you on the phone.

This was apparently not the answer she wanted to hear, since she hung up the phone. I went about my business and about five minutes or so passed. The phone rang again. Water still running in the bathroom, I answered the phone again…perhaps it was the delivery man telling me that he was five minutes away with a package of books for me. It was not!

ME: Hello?

STRANGE WOMAN: Uh yes, where are you?

ME: Uh…in South Korea.

STRANGE WOMAN: No, not you…your phone. Is it a cell phone or a house phone?

Now at this point I realized the woman was not really playing with a full deck. In Korea all cell phone numbers start with a prefix that differs greatly from home phone numbers. This should have been entirely clear to her (seeing as how she was the one making the phone call).

ME: It’s a house phone.

STRANGE WOMAN: Ok! What’s your phone number then?

ME: My phone number? I don’t know.

I was not lying at all, I really don’t know the phone number seeing as how I’ve never called it. I mean it’s saved in my cell phone in the event that I need to contact my wife but she is not answering her cell phone, but I’ve never actually dialed the number.

ME: Wait a second…you called me! So you already know what the phone number is here anyway. Who is this?

STRANGE WOMAN: … (click)

And that was that…she didn’t call back, and the next call that came in was the delivery man informing me that there was a crate of books on the way to my house and to be ready to ring him up. Awesome!