The sheer volume of weddings I have been attending has gotten to be rediculous…since yesterday I attended a wedding where neither 진희 or I knew any of the parties involved. Yes, in a way we were crashing a wedding, though technically we were invited. The wedding we visited yesterday took place at the same wedding hall we are scheduled to tie the knot at in several weeks, so the powers that be invited us to come on down, check out the ceremony, get or grub on and basically make sure everything was in order.
So 진희, her parents, her sister, and I sat in on some random people’s wedding ceremony. The ceremony was good, and then it was time to eat. We got to sample the spread that we had ordered for our own wedding ceremony: 갈비탕, 불고기, 잡채, and so on. The food was good, though slightly overpriced (as it seems to be at every wedding hall, or food supplier for a wedding). Guts full of food, we moved on to stange two of the day’s wedding preparations: 한복 (hanbok).
진희’s sister ran off somewhere, and her father headed off to work, so 진희 and I accompanied her mother to a 한복 shop to go get some clothes made for our wedding. Since we are doing 전통혼례 (a traditional wedding) we don’t need things like tuxedos or ring bears or wedding dresses, but we do need 한복…so we headed off to the shop and got measured and picked out fabric that was suitable. We paid a deposit and then it was off to round three: the photo studio.
The photo studio was decent, since all we had to do was give a deposit and reserve dates and times. Other than that the photographer explained what we would be doing, showed us different set pieces, let us pet a dog, and told us that on the the 19th of May, Wyatt Dunn would be sitting in a photo studio from 10:00 in the morning until at least 6:00 at night…fuck that’s a long time. Note to self: Locate, and make sure my Gameboy is charged up before May 19th.
All in all the entire process, despite being fairly time consuming, was relatively painless. That changed when we headed home. 진희 wanted to take the bus home instead of the subway. From the photo studio to our house the bus takes about 45 minutes to an hour…on a good day. The subway always takes an hour and a half. So we got on the bus and headed home. A meer two and a half hours later we were arriving at our homestead, throughly exhausted. Now all that’s left to do is take some pictures, pick up the 한복, and have our wedding…oh, and hand out large sums of money along the way.
Drunken Tiger - 뿌리 Rating: 7.9 Label: Doremi Media Co. Release Date: February 25, 2003 Relevant Links:Buy it here.
Life seems hard for Korean rappers. Between all the drinking, battles, and ladies discussed in the lyrics of tunes contained on this album, it’s amazing that Tiger J.K. and DJ Shine found the time to make this album at all.
While the themes may not be all that complex or deep, the flow and rhymes that Tiger J.K. and DJ Shine deliver them with are simply amazing. And the fact that they can go from busting serious rhymes to sound like the frontman to some band that could be performing at Ozzfest all while sampling a piece of classical music (”우리 그리고 너 하나”) is totally awesome.
The tunes might be solid, but this is clearly a hip-hop album. This is made abudantly clear by the inclusion of several completely pointless “skits.” Particularly cringe worth is the track in which the lads do their best “ching chong me chikee Chinee…” imitation. Classy…real classy.
But these few low points do very little to detract from the album as a whole. Tunes I particularly enjoyed include the song, “굽혀진 9자로,” which for some reason reminds me of any of those songs with a message off the M.C. Hammer album 2 Legit 2 Quit (”Brothers Hang On,” I’m looking in your general direction).
Other stand out tracks include “Fist of Fury,” which is awesome for a multitude of reasons, the most obvious of which is the title, and “엄지 손가락,” which has such a dopeass beat (this is a review of a rap album…I’m allowed to, neigh required to use such phrases) it would cause even the whitest fool to put his hands in the air and wave ‘em like he just don’t care…God knows I was.
In conclusion, with the exception of pointless skits, 뿌리 is a totally satisfying album from begining to end, the creation of which seems to be nearly impossible in the world of mainstream Korean hip-hop. Drunken Tiger prove not only to the listeners, but to all other “hip-hop” artists in Korea that Koreans can make a hip-hop album without needing to have crappy techno tunes, or love ballads, or back-up dancers to make it listenable.
During a brief period during which I lacked anything remotely related to focus or clarity, I drafted this illustration (which shared a page with a drawing of a pilgrim giving a Native American small pox for some reason). Anyhow I guess this deal is about common cultural misconceptions or some nonsense like that. Basically in the USA a large percentage of the population wrongly assume that every Asian person is Chinese, and in Korea a large percentage of the population wrongly assumes that every white person is American…or Robin Williams.
This commercial is utterly sureal. Bizarre shark puppet attacks kids and moms partying on a raft at the beach which prompts the kids to chow down on shark shaped frozen treats. This commercial from the 1980s is for the 죠스바 brand popsicle, which is still avalible in the mean streets of Korea (though at a price slightly higher than the ￦100 that is shown on the bar in the commercial). Like every vintage commercial I’ve come across this ad features the He-man yelling, “I HAVE THE POWER”-esque reverb on all vocals.
The use of extension cords was such a problem in 1970s Korea that something had to be done. Government officals were frozen with fear. Fortunately the 금성 corporation was willing to look the Extension Cord Menace right in the eyes (or sockets…whatever the case might have been) and put together this informative spot educating people on the correct way to plug appliances in. Even though the add is 30 something years old, the message it holds is still the same. Technology is evil and must be stopped by limiting the number of items we plug in, we are limiting our dependence on technology. It’s the Matrix dude…it’s so deep and junk. If you don’t unplug the TV, how can you yourself get plugged in? Woah…that’s so deep!
All deep philosophical revelations aside, this is a 1970’s public service announcement about the safe way to use electrical sockets. It’s a cartoon, and it has that same reverb effect on the vocal that all Korean film of that era seems to have. Check it out…it’s pretty fun.
I remember reading somewhere (most likely an ESL textbook that I was teaching from) about the how pizza differs from country to country, and how each country puts their own unique spin on pizza toppings. So I decided that I would do some sort of investigative reporting expose on some of the more unusual (from an America perspective) pizza toppings that I have seen here in Korea.
We kick things off with this advertisement I found taped to my door many moons ago. The pizza on top is not really that special…your standard issue, cheese crust heart attack pan pizza. I wish to bring the lower pizza to your attention. That’s right, “Chili Dog” pizza. And here I was thinking that America had the most heart attack inducing pizza toppings in the world. Hot dogs and hot chili sauce on a pizza. Where do I sign up?
Next up we have cute as hell 문근영 (Moon Geun-Young) in a television for Mister Pizza. This particular ad features Miss Moon playing the role of a reporter discussing Mister Pizza’s latest offering Shrimp Nude Pizza. The commercial itself shows that someone in the company (or at least the ad company that created the ad) realized the name of this pizza is slightly rediculous. The pizza itself is also fairly rediculous as it features cream cheese and shrimp as toppings.
Here we have a pizza menu (again taped to my door many moons ago) showing some of the more popular pizza toppings here in South Korea. In addition to things such as cheese and pepperoni there are offerings such as 마요감자 (mayo and potato), 가지 (eggplant), 콘 (corn), 포테이토 (”potato” actual steak fries), and 고구마 (sweet potato).
And last but certainly not least there was this advertisement (again taken off my front door long ago in a galaxy far, far away). While this ad does not offer up any other unusually pizza toppings, it does confirm that both potato and sweet potato are a common enough topping to be offered by several different delivery services. In addition, I personally like this menu due to the fact they each pizza was given it’s own cute mascot. Oh they are so cute!
공부벌레 - 공부가 제일 쉬웠어요 Rating: 6.1 Label: Bissan Trophy Records Release Date: April 19, 2006 Relevant Links: Download It Here
공부벌레 sound like they had a blast making this recording. They do parodies of the Metallica song, “Enter Sandman,” and Green Day’s song, “Basketcase.” They have two tracks that are about 30 seconds long. There’s some quasi-funk riffs. Vocals sound like Danzig thrown into a blender with Cookie Monster. The entire affair seems like it was really fun to make.
But what about listening to it? How fun is that? The biggest problem this album has is the quality of the recording in particular the vocals. Songs like “신나는 야자시간,” and “흥미로웠던 그해의 고려대 논술,” (both 30 second grindcore tracks) low quality recording doesn’t really matter all that much. On songs like “Enter Jesus!” and “사랑하는 주님 앞에,” the poor recording quality makes it hard to determine if they are doing legit covers of “Enter Sandman,” and “Basketcase,” or if they have altered the lyrics like a Korean grindcore version of Weird Al.
Either way, if you’re the kind of person that likes their rock and roll to feature more screaming and less singing, or you are a self-proclaimed (or perhaps board certified) indie rock snob, check out 공부벌레. Even if you don’t fall into either of those categories, still check them out: it’s a free download for god’s sake. If you don’t like it, delete it.
Have any of you ever seen a Korean music video (aside from the hard rockin’ nonsense I’ve posted here)? Quick…what’s a common theme that runs through each and every music video (again excluding the mighty hard rockin’ nonsense I post here)? “Someone dies?” Who said that? That’s absolutely right!
Korean music videos tend to be fairly melodramatic affairs, and chances are that someone is going to die. While the odds are someone is dying in the video, the cause of death is not always so obvious. In the 3 years or so that I have been exposed to Korean pop, I’ve seen some pretty insane causes of death depicted in various pop singers’ music videos.
So odd were some deaths that I had no choice but to create a game around it. I call it “The K-pop Cause of Death Game™.” The rules are fairly simple: at the onset of the music video players declare who in the video will die, and what their cause of death is going to be. At the close of the video players that correctly guess the cause are rewarded a point. Play ends when players are bored, and the player with the highest score wins. The game also works as a drinking game. The rules are similar except under these rules, players correctly guessing cause of death are not required to drink during the next video.
“Wyatt, this is all well and good for those of you living in Korea, but what about us in ?”
Fear not readers in Kenya, The Czech Republic, Sweden, and Cameroon! The internet is here to hook you up! Youtube has a vast array of Korean pop videos just waiting for you! When using youtube (or watching Korean MTV for that matter), performance videos (PV) or anything with a disco beat are not worth playing during, since no one is going to die.
So there you have it kids! The K-pop Cause of Death Game™. Enjoy!
The K-pop Cause of Death Game™ is a trademark of Kimchi & Me Enterprises. Kimchi & Me does not promote or encourage The K-pop Cause of Death Game™ to be played as a drinking game, and any death, damage, or legal woes which may arise from improper use of The K-pop Cause of Death Game™ are the responsibilty of the parties involved. Also don’t blame us if you have to hear some seriously god awful tunes!
I was unaware of the fact that Chow Yun-Fat (周潤發 / 주윤발) could speak Korean. You were too? Well he can, and he does, here in this 1989 commercial for that most insane of all junk food, Milkis. For those not in the know, Milkis is a carbonated milk beverage, that tastes surprisingly good. Anyhow if you like Hong Kong action stars, the 1980s, helicopters, the Korean language, and carbonated milk beverages, definately check this commercial out.
Among my co-workers are the most awesome assortment of characters ever assembled in one 학원. In addition to the wife and yours truly, we have a girl with a name extremely close to the Korean word for “monkey,” a girl that does have a name meaning “our” or “we,” in Korean, a dude that is a confirmed bachelor and is constantly putting the moves on me, a woman that no one likes, and looks a lot like the title character from the highly enjoyable, though quasi-Adams Family knockoff, 「안녕 프란체스카」, and a boss that at one point was a flight attendant, but now runs and English school.
However none of these co-workers can hold a candle to the girl who is dating…wait for it…a Turkish sea captain! Upon learning this little tidbit of information I had to do a double take, since it seemed like something I would tell random Korean people on the subway who assume they know everything about me.
RANDOM 아줌마 ON THE SUBWAY: “So you’re an English teacher right?”
ME: “Nope…Turkish sea captain.”
Turns out that she really is dating a Turkish sea captain, and is learning Turkish on the weekends which got me wondering, where does one go to learn Turkish in Korea…apparently the same place one goes to learn English, cooking, jumprope…a 학원!
A friendly reminder from the good folks at the Department of Gender Equality and the Police Department, not to be buying or selling sex.
I carefully considered how to go about presenting the text to accompany this horrible photographed sign I witnessed on the subway. At first I thought about combining the photo with some sort of news article about the sex trade in Korea obtained from The Chosun Ilbo, countless character assassinations in the comments section, and some sort of headline proclaiming “MUST READ!!!” I quickly realized that this is not The Marmot’s Hole, and decided to do something else.
My next option was to simply make a crude joke about it. Something like, “Is renting sex ok?” or “What about buying porn?” Since I’ve just presented pretty much all the jokes one could make about that sign, and it didn’t make a very interesting read, I decided to go all educational on you and hit you with some completely useless 漢字 knowledge.
性 (성품 성) among its several other uses is used in words dealing with sex. So let’s get it on, with a partial vocabulary list most sexy (partial because it will end the second I get bored with this…작심삼일 baby!)
성 (性) - a sex, a gender
성감 (性感) - sexual feeling
성감대 (性感帶) - an erogenous zone
성과학 (性科學) - sexology (is that even really a word?)
성교하다 (性交하다) - to have sexual intercourse
성교육 (性敎育) - sex education
성기 (性器) - sexual organs
성도덕 (性道德) - sexual morality
성도착증 (性倒錯症) - sexual perversion
성범죄 (性犯罪) - a sex crime (ala Law & Order: SVU)
성병 (性病) - an STD
성본능 (性本能) - sexual urges
성생활 (性生活) - sex life
성선 (性腺) - a sex gland, gonad
성애 (性愛) - sexual love, eros
성욕 (性慾) - carnal desire
성용품 (性用品) - sexual supplies (things like condoms, vibrators, ect.)
성적 (性的) - sexual
성전 (性典) - a book on sex, an encyclopedia of sex
성전환 (性轉換) - a sex change
성지식 (性知識) - knowledge of sex
성추행 (性醜行) - sexual molestation
성행위를 하다 (性行爲를 하다) - to perform a sexual act
That about does it kids. Feel free to print it out for easy use on the subway. I’m sure the 아줌마 looking over your shoulder to see what you are doing will enjoy it a lot.
Sometime several months back I was investigating via the internet the process by which I needed to obtain my Mel Gibson Bellowing “Freedom” Stamp in my passport (better known as an F-2 visa), and for some reason the websites that came up the most often (but had the least useful information) were various recruiters for hagwon positions. Among the non-F-2 visa obtaining information was one piece of information I saw no less than 203 times.
While it is true that knowledge of Korean is not required for the actual employment part of living in Korea as an English teacher, having at least some knowledge of Korean not only makes your stay easier and more enjoyable, but it’s a lot more polite as a resident of a country to at least put forth some effort in learning the language of the land in which you are residing. Anyhow, segway to some links for those of you who have no idea about the Korean language, but have set your mind on teaching in Korea. Don’t say I never did anything for ya!
Yesterday was a nonstop party during which the wife and I rocked it to the break of dawn! The day began with a trip to 창덕궁. Since spring has sprung we decided to head off with a tripod and take some pictures while standing infront of the natural beauty…or man made beauty that is 비원 (the Secret Garden).
So there was a bus ride and we disembarked in 종로. Before we headed to the palace we grabbed ourselves some lunch. The day’s menu was 오무라이스 that was simply outstanding. I had a unit of 오무라이스 with a carbona sauce, and the wife chowed down on one topped with fried bananas / sweet potatoes. Both were top notch, and apparently we were extremely hungry since we were in the restaurant for about 15 minutes (from ordering to paying the bill).
From there it was off to 창덕궁 in order to snap some pictures. Somehow between the last time I visited this venue, and this time, the powers that be became a lot more strict. After buying our tickets we had to wait 30 minutes or so for the next guided tour to begin before we were allowed in. After that, armed guards (armed in the sense that they all had two arms) were stationed around the area to prevent people from wandering off and examining the grounds at their own pace.
So the first 20 minutes or so of the tour was spent trying to evade capture so we could go at our own pace, see things we wanted to see, take pictures, skip the stuff we had no interest in, and so on. I’m not saying that the guided tour is pointless, far from it. It was quite informative the first time I listened to it, and I’m pretty sure that in the past six or seven months, the history of the palace hasn’t changed much.
Finally sneaking off, we made our way to 비원 (aka the Secret Garden) which in all honesty was the reason we made the pilgrimage to that venue. “Let’s go to 비원 with a tripod and take some pictures with decent scenic backdrops.” Which is just what we did. The photo evidence is avalible here for those who care to see it.
After throughly wandering about the venue and seeing all that we cared to see, 진희 and I headed over to the bookstore known as English Plus so that she could pick up some sort of book about testing English vocabulary. We we’re then planning to take a bus home, but some farmers from out in the provinces and college students had another idea. Their idea was to get pissed off about the government’s plan to import some food stuffs at much cheaper prices (therefore making it harder for farmers to make money), come to Seoul, march in the street, set fire to stuff, and have the police block off the streets to allow this behavior (instead of busting farmers in the skull). I snapped a couple of low quality photos mostly because I thought their protest wagon was rediculous (see photo to the right).
The flow of traffic was seriously messed up, so instead of taking the bus home, which on a normal day takes about 40 minutes, we had to take the subway (which takes roughly an hour and a half). So I was a tad pissed off, and took this annoyance out the random middle aged women who attempted to push their way onto the subway as the wife and I were attempting to get off to make the first of the transfers we had to make. I seriously close-lined one of them and she got all indignant, but I felt no remorse what so ever.
Jerkass farmers aside the afternoon was outstanding, but the day was far from over. Once back in our home area, we decided to go check out a film at the movie theater. 진희 wanted to see 뻔뻔한 딕 & 제인 (Fun With Dick & Jane), so we went to go check out some tickets. There was a showing at 9:00, but we would have had to sit in seats away from each other, and where’s the fun in that?
There was another showing at midnight, so we purchased tickets which (due to being for a showing at midnight) were 50% off. We headed home to kill some time before the showing, and to pick up some snacks to bring to the theater with us. In a clear sign that I have been in Korea far, far too long, the snack I personally selected to bring with me was not chips, or popcorn, or a candy bar of anysort, but dried squid. That’s right, I brought the very same snack I once loathed to encounter in the movie theater.
Anyhow, 11:15 rolled around and we headed back to the theater, and took in the film. Our seats were outstanding. We had “couple seats” (which is basically one big seat for two people) up on a balcony away from everyone else in the theater. So we sat there, ate our squid, drank our beers and enjoyed the movie. Personally, I thought the film was not that bad. Jim Carrey often annoys the hell out of me with his manic behavior in other films, but here he was more subdued and therefore a lot funnier. All in all the film was pretty decent: a comedy that required very little work to enjoy, which is the right kind of movie to watch at midnight I suppose.
The film ended and 진희 and I walked back home. Sometime between 11:15 and 1:30 or so, a cold wind had picked up and the air was crisp and a tad chilly. We returned home, had a cup of tea and a chat, and then headed off to bed. When all was said and done, it was a fantastic day.
Today’s nostalgia from a country I only recently started living in, and a time that I never lived through ever, is this 1970s commercial for 오뚜기 brand curry. I particularly enjoy this commercial due to the fact that for a good 2 years or so I lived on this stuff, since it’s incredibly easy to prepare (as is clearly evident in the commercial). Only since my marriage has 오뚜기 curry gone from being a staple food to that special treat. “Tonight’s curry night?! Awesome!” Also it’s nice to know that 漢字 were still widely enough in use as to appear in a commercial geared towards housewives circa 1975.
What follows is a post so bloggy it might as well be on some fat American highschool girl’s myspace or xanga site, but if that were the case I’d need more annoying fonts, more teen angst, more use of the number 2 to represent “to” or “too,” and more emo tunes. On with the show.
I woke up yesterday morning and had a light breakfast with the wife. Then it was sit around and watch some high quality television programs, and then grab some lunch. Lunch equalled some 자장밥 forged in the home kitchen with love and care. It was not 3 Minute 자장…that’s for damned sure.
Following lunch, the wife and I headed out to our respective jobs. Being a Tuesday afternoon, I was totally free from the confines of working in a 학원, and instead headed into the big city for some tutoring. The first stop of the day was my Korean teacher’s house. In exchange for Korean lessons, I tutor her daughter. Since their family is planning to immigrate to the land known as Great Britain, or the United Kingdoms, or England, or Jamie Oliver-land sometime early next year, I have to tutor her daughter not only in writing, reading, speaking, and listening, but also on more technical texts she will encounter when she enters school in England.
Basically what I am attempting to say is that using a British science textbook, I am currently tutoring a Korean middle school girl in science. Since I am not British at all, I occassional come across words and phrases in that book that strike me as odd. For example there was a question about which type of potatoes would be best for someone that wanted a low fat diet, and then went on to list things such as: a jacket potato and chipped potatoes. In addition, this science textbook insisted on using the word, “gut” to reference one’s stomach. “Sugars are absorbed through the wall of the gut.”
Anyhow, the unit we covered yesterday was the dreaded “Human Reproduction” unit…which since it was a British textbook used the word “spread” instead of “unit” and I’m pretty sure also tossed some extra Us into the word reproduction, so that it looked something like this: “reprouductioun.” Being from the repressed puritain society that is America, the awkwardness of being grilled for questions every second line (”What is ‘menstration?’” “Is that a sperm?” ect.) was beyond words.
Luckily the lesson ended when her mother presented me with a dinner 오리탕 (duck meat stew). I can’t remember when the last time I ate duck was, but the stew was outstanding. For those with knowledge of Korean cooking, it tasted similar to 닭도리탕, but allegedly had the same powers that 보신탕 possess.
From there I evacuated to another venue, where I proceeded to teach some 아줌마s about English. It was a past tense party! Also I drank some coffee…and then I got on a subway to go home. I listened to the latest No Brain album, and some Korean hip-hop. Once home I watched some television with my wife and then we fell asleep.
I’m lazy, and really busy today, so you’re going to watch this video from No Brain and like it! I don’t want to hear any complaints…you got that?! Anyhow like I said before, this video comes from those loveable, Never Mind The Bollocks Here’s The Sex Pistols-covering scamps, No Brain. This song, “미친 듯 놀자” (Let’s Play Like Crazy) comes to us from their most recent album, Boys, Be Ambitious. For those of you that have knowledge of other underground bands in Korea see if you can spot cameo appearances from people in other bands. Anyhow, perhaps I’ll be back tomorrow with some more indepth, hard hitting A Current Affair style reporting from the Land of the Morning Calm.
Hey hey! It’s music video time again kids! Today we have the latest video from Korean indie band Sugar Donut. This video is the first single of their second full length album which is either coming out shortly or perhaps already out now…since I got married and moved out of Seoul, I have not really been keeping up on things such as rock and or roll. Anyhow enjoy some rockin’ from the lads in Sugar Donut.
It should be fairly obvious by now, that perhaps I have a strange obsession with Korea’s current king of the 꽃미남, Mr. 이준기. I mean I’ve written about him not once, but twice already, and am about to do so once again, but this is the end…maybe.
이준기
So those of you that actually read this nonsense know about 이준기 already, but you may not be aware of a Korean celebrity named 바다. 바다 is a pop singer that first got her start in the 1990’s girl group, S.E.S. She is now a solo artist, and recently unleashed another album of vapid pop tunes on the unsuspecting masses, which means of course she has to go on every television show to pimp her album.
Korea does not (to my knowledge) have an equivelent concept to the late night talk show where celebrities can appear, talk about their latest film or album, shake the host’s hand, and exit stage right. What they have instead are an assortment of game shows, quiz programs, and variety shows where celebrities can appear, make asses of themselves, and in the process let the public know that they are doing something new.
So as I mentioned before, 바다 has a new album out and I’ve been seeing her face all over my TV screen, and as I watched her attempt to speak English or avoid getting hit with a frying pan, or play soccer, or whatever other insane stunts producers make celebrities do on television, I noticed something odd about her appearance.
바다
For those of you with no short term memory, scroll up and look at 이준기 once more…then look at 바다. Do you notice anything strange? They look exactly the same! This is some sort of bizarre alternate reality stuff. 바다, a female, returns with a look that copies 이준기, a man who has a look a lot like a woman. It’s kind of hard for me to wrap my head around. Then again, 이준기 is a very pretty girl…I mean man.
Today, being a Saturday in spring, found me attending yet another wedding. So 진희 and I headed off to check out one more wedding ceremony. This ceremony was a less annoying than the last wedding I went to. The entire ceremony last about 20 minutes, and included (in no particular order) girls with swords, a guy doing push-ups with the bride on his back, a group of religious types singing a song of congratulation, a master of ceremonies that had a Peter Brady voice-crack at the end of his speech, and trumpets that shot streamers out of them.
Following the ceremony there were pictures to be taken, and more photos to be taken. When all was said and done, the photo session lasted longer than the actual wedding part. The wife was featured in some of these pictures, but I was not, so I sat in the now fairly empty wedding hall and read a book (지승호’s biography of the Korean punk band Crying Nut…cost, ￦1,000 at a bookfair) while photos were snapped.
From then it was time to get our eat on. Unlike every other wedding I’d ever attended here in Korea, this wedding featured a reception at a different venue. Since the restaurant was only a short 120 meters away, we decided to forgo the pleasure of riding in a van and just walked over there…not really the best move.
Today was perhaps the most serious episode of 황사 (黃砂 / hwangsa) I’ve seen in the nearly three years I’ve lived here in Korea. For those of you with no knowledge of 황사, allow myself to explain myself. 황사 (literally “yellow sand” or “yellow dust”) is a cloud of, surprise, yellow dust that blows into Korea each spring from the Gobi Desert in China. In addition to the sand, this dust has all sorts of pollution, carcinogens, and other lovely by-products that accompany it. Even during the short walk to the restaurant my eyes started to burn, my throat hurt, and my face felt dirty. It was disgusting.
So we arrived at the eatery and got down to the business of eating. The spread was pretty decent: 갈비탕, 불고기, 잡채, 떡, 오징어, and so on. After stuffing our faces we headed off. The wife had some appointment at 7:30 so we decided to kill some time in the city, and decided to do so by going to the area of the city that specialized in pet shops (and motorcycles), 충무로. For some reason, unknown to even me, I have become a six year old girl and am now prone to fits of bellowing about how cute particular animals are…so off to the pet shop we journeyed to check out kittens.
Oh my god, they were all so cute! However they were too expensive, and since we probably won’t be staying in the country much longer we decided not to pick up any sort of animal, and instead bought SARS masks and coffee and then headed back to our homestead. I watched the Cosby Show on television, and then wrote this. And then I hit the Publish button…
I am offically a geek. Instead of speading a perfectly decent Friday night getting trashed on the stuff, I spent it seeking out this 1959 (or possibly 1960 since netizens did not seem to be in agreement) animated spot for 眞露소주 (Jinro Soju). Perhaps I’m not a geek and I’m just someone that doesn’t feel like turning into some sort of Bluto / Brutus rip-off. Anyhow, enjoy.
Awhile back at the bus stop, while waiting for the bus, I encountered this signage while waiting for the bus at the bus stop. I stared at it, completely perplexed by the seriously god-awful font before me. Was it some foreign language for mail order brides (since I have seen signs advertising for them as well)? Was I just really drunk? Before I code decode it, my chariot arrived and I headed off to adventure.
The next day I returned to the bus stop with my wife (born, raised, and educated in Korea) and the pair of us examined the sign in great detail. After much research we were finally able to determine the sign was in fact writen in Korean, and we were able to finally decipher what was written. Now I pass the torch to you. Can you figure it out? Check the answer by highlighting the brackets that follow: (광고문의).
A scant two days past I sat in a local eatery with one of my allies in a rendez-vous of the most secret nature. As we sipped our fine coffee blends that caused us to recall past memories of cafes in Paris, and French waiters named Jean-Luc, I happened to notice a gaggle of street toughs enter. Among their masses was the following character. In order to maintain the veil of mystery that surrounded that day’s mission, and mainly because I neglected to bring my camera with me, I have gone through the trouble of creating, in great detail, a life-like rendering of this character, and more importantly his jacket.
Figure 304-F
As Figure 304-F clearly illustrates, this college aged fellow was sporting not only a perm fit for a 46 year old Korean woman, but was also clad in a leather jacket, cut in such a way that had he not been wearing a sweater, everyone would have been able to see his navel. END TRANSMISSION.
I enjoy Korean food, and eating here is great, but I had one big gripe when it came to eating out in Korea. That complaint was the lack of variety especially in regards to foreign food. I mean things like Chinese food, sushi, Thai and Vietnamese food is fairly easy to come by in Seoul, but when it comes to regions outside of Asia (or lousy American chain restaurants) the foreign cuisine choices can be found to be lacking. The thing I missed the most was the lowly taco and his companions: refried beans, the burrito, and the nacho. Fearing that I would not be able to consume such foodstuffs again (until my next trip home), this past summer I gourged myself on all manner of Tex-Mex cooking. Apparently it was not needed, since Seoul does have a Mexican restaurant, and it’s not half bad. And since I feel a sense of duty to you people I’ll let you know where it is and junk.
Getting There: In Seoul, take line number 6 (the tan line) to녹사평 (綠沙坪 / Noksapyeong) and go out exit number 1. From here, cross the street using the overpass. On the otherside go down the hill. You’ll pass a Lexus dealer, a used foreign bookstore (which in and of itself is worth the trip to Noksapyeong), a hamburger place called ThunderBuger, and a couple real estate agents (부동산). The restaurant has a yellow sign which simply proclaims “TACO” on it (I believe in red letters, but I could be mistaken).
The Food: The menu has nearly everything you’d expect to find at a Mexican restaurant: tacos, burritos, nachos, and so on, but lacks the deep fried offerings (no chimchangas) and no enchiladas). Prices are fairly reasonable: ￦3,500 for a standard taco, ￦6,000 for Nacho Sumpreme, and the taste is spot on. Second hand information informs me that the owner spent an extended period of time in Tex-Mexico and during that time there learned the secrets of the taco.
The Atmosphere: The restaurant has a vibe very similar to any in and out restaurant located near a college campus in the United States (or at least any college campus in New England or New York). It’s a small place with a couple tables, and a counter. Additional seating can be found on a second floor, which is completely invisible from the outside of the building.
Additionally the staff all speak English, and the menus are in English as well so langauge should not be a problem, making ordering a snap. Food can be eaten at the restaurant of order to go (”take away” for the British people that happen to be reading this).
So if you have a hankering for some tacos head over to “TACO” in Noksapyeong.
If you are like me, chances are you were born sometime in the late 1970s or early 1980s. Additionally if you are like me you will on occassion reference random pieces of pop-culture from this time period in your day to day speech. The problem that arises is that when speaking Korean, this characters and shows are often non-existant…or so it may seem.
Often it is the case that some of the shows have completely different names. So for your benefit, I have complied this list of television programs from my childhood (late 1970s - early 1990s) for you to use in your next conversation. I apologize to any non-Americans who may read this, as the shows mentioned here are for the most part American (though I’m sure most of bore witness to this crap as well).
한국어
English
원더우먼
Wonder Woman
닌자 거북이
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
헐크
The Incredible Hulk
맥가이버
MacGuyver
심슨가족
The Simpsons
개구쟁이 스머프
The Smurfs
지아이 죠
G.I. Joe
코스비가족
The Cosby Show
형사 가제트
Inspector Gadget
세서미 스트리트
Sesame Street
독수리 오 형제
Battle of the Planets
전격 Z작전
Knight Rider
육백만불의 사나이
The Six Million Dollar Man
마이애미의 두형사
Miami Vice
치어스
Cheers
볼트론
Voltron
케빈은 12살
The Wonder Years
에이 특공대
The A-Team
외계인 ‘알프’
A.L.F.
히맨
He-man
쉬라
She-ra
아빠는 가정부
Who’s The Boss
닥터 두기 / 천재소년 두기
Doogie Howser M.D.
썬더의 용사들
Thundercats
실버호크
Silverhawks
트랜스포머
Transformers
비버리 힐스 아이들
Beverly Hills 90210
브이
V
블루문 특급
Moonlighting
소머즈
The Bionic Woman
빨간머리앤
Anne of Green Gables
빨강머리 삐삐
Pippi Longstocking
엉터리 슈퍼맨
The Greatest American Hero
초원의 집
Little House On The Prarie
기둥 순찰대
CHiPs
아빠는 멋쟁이
Silver Spoons
수퍼소년 앤드류
My Secret Identity
형사 콜롬보
Columbo
That’s it for the time being. If you have any corrections, or additional programs you feel I have overlooked, please leave a comment so that I can rectify such oversights and errors.
Thanks to Jay Lee, Joel, Jeff, et. al for alerting me to several crucial absences in this list.
