西洋오랑캐

I have mentioned 김흥국 before, and have discussed in great detail how totally awesome he is. For those of you not yet convinced of his awesomeness, behold this clip! This clip features Mr. Kim being shot at with lasers, screaming, and transforming into some sort of costumed Power Ranger-esque hero to save a girl. Just watch it…the entire thing cannot be explained.

As you may or may not know (depending how intensely you examined a picture of Tetris), this past Friday 진희 and I had our wedding photographs taken. Let me tell you about it.

At the crack of dawn (4:30 in the morning) I was awoken and made to take a shower. From that point I sat and waited around for awhile while the wife got ready herself. By 6:30 in the morning we were on a bus headed back to my old homestead, 홍대, which was where the photo studio was located. I had been under the impression that our photo session was to commence at 10:00 or so, but I guess we had to go in early to get our hair, make up, and other ablutions done.

The actual bus ride was uneventful save for the fact that at 6:30 in the morning every single person on the bus is a Korean man in a suit. Apparently no man in the country works in professions where suits are not required…but I digress. We go off the bus near 명동 in order to take the subway into 홍대 (since the photo studio was right next to the subway exit). The second strange thing I noticed is that at 7:30 in the morning, the streets of 명동 are totally empty save for some trash and pidgeons; I guess Japanese tourists like to sleep in.

After some going the wrong way on the subway action, we finally arrived at the photo studio. There was one person there to greet us, the make-up lady. There were also some big dogs. The make-up lady took my wife into the make-up lair and began doing her hair and make-up. I was left to my own devices. So I headed off to grab myself some breakfast: 김밥 and 만두. Breakfast achieve I returned to the studio to sit around for several hours. I read a book (albeit a short one), played some Gameboy, and studied Korean.

Then it was my turn to get my hair done. 10 minutes later I was playing Gameboy again. My wife was still in the make-up lair. Eventually my sister-in-law showed up (she had been recruited by my wife to take additional photos of the day’s events). Finally around 11:00 it was time to take some photos. So we took photos…a lot of photos! There were photos in all manner of gear: vests, ties, 16th century King of France-esque gear, pink, 한복, ect. The entire time I only had one hairstyle. My wife on the other hand was, from time to time, dragged off by the hair stylist to have her hair changed. So some six costume changes, and four hair styles later (6:00) we were finished.

The entire process wasn’t that bad, though after 7 hours of smiling, one’s face ceases being able to smile and just kind of makes this painful, teeth bearing grimace. Anyhow during the photo session, a parade of friends and co-workers came through to look at the pretty dresses / mock the pink vest I was wearing, so when the last photo had been taken we all headed off to have omu-rice together…which turned into a cup of tea together, which turned into me getting home around 11:00pm and falling into bed and falling asleep right away.

Playing Tetris…be back later.

A 1960s makeup commerical from Korea. The makeup brand happens to be Japanese, which surprises me. Not because it is Japanese, but because of how clear the commercial makes it that this product is Japanese. In the 1960s a scant 20 years or so since the end of Japanese occupation the people responsible for this commercial thought that the product’s Japanese-ness would be a strong selling point. Watch the commercial and count how many times you hear 일본 or see the Chinese characters 日本.

Like I said several posts back, recently I’ve been reading a lot of books on Korean history, and in reading these books I’m discovering quite outstanding chunks of vocabulary I had previously be largely unaware of. Today I present unto you, a list of alternate words that one would have to use when talking to or about a king.

“Say what?!”

Korean like Japanese (and I’m sure some other languages) has different levels of respect reflected in their speech so that one would not make a suggestion to a kindergarten student the same way they would make a suggestion to their boss at work. To this end there are from time to time, completely different words meaning the same thing that one would use to different people. A current example that comes to mind quickly is the verb “to eat.” If I were to talk about eating with someone of a lower or equal social status to myself I could use the word “먹다,” but if I were speaking with someone social higher than myself I would have to use the word “잡수다.”

Confused? Good…so am I! Anyhow back in the day the person at the top of the social status pyramid was the king. Therefore there was a whole set of alternative vocabulary that existed to talk about the junk the king was up to. So here, for your enjoyment and mine is a list of assorted kingly words from the Chosun period (and possibly earlier, but the book I learned about them in only was talking about the Chosun period).

So let’s look at some words that you must know in the event that you happen to meet any Chosun-era royality.

English - King - Standard Korean

Body - 옥체 (玉體) - 몸
Face - 용안 (龍顔) - 얼굴
Forehead - 액상 - 이마
Eyes - 안정 (眼睛) - 눈
Sweat - 한수 - 땀
Tears - 안수 - 눈물
Snot - 비수 - 콧물
Lips - 구순 (口脣) - 입술
Hand - 어수 (御手) - 손
Blood - 혈 (血) - 피
Shit - 매화 - 똥
Fart - 통기 - 방귀
Food / Rice / Meal - 수라 (水刺) - 밥
Chair - 용상 (龍床) - 의자
Clothes - 용포

Of all the words I think my personal favorite would have to be 통기. Seriously, why would anyone be rappin’ with the king about ripping ass? I would assume that a royal fart would be kind of like a fart released by one’s conservative grandfather in that you just kind of ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. Anyhow if for some reason you know any other regal words release the compassion and leave a comment.

This list originally appeared in Korean in the book 「경복궁에서의 왕의 하루」 written by 청동말굽. Low quality English translation done by yours truly.

Sunday afternoon after I got a quick haircut, Jinhui suggested that we should ride our bikes to the area known as Moran in order to check out the Moran Market. Moran Market is a traditional market that is only open on days ending with a 4 or a 9, so with Sunday being the 14th they were totally open and junk.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

The bike ride was pretty awesome. The weather was decent and for some reason there were not that many people on the bike path so we were able to really power jam it on down to (up to?) Moran. The only problem we encountered were the countless tiny little bugs that were all about flying around in a swarm and totally getting in our eyes, up our noses, and in our mouths and junk. They were totally nasty.

After an hour or so of hard biking we arrived at the market. We parked the bikes and then entered the market place along with the rest of the masses. There was a sea of humanity wandering around the market place. As we entered I knew that right away I’d be in for a rare treat when I noticed that next to the table selling Buddhist religious items was a table selling porn and horror DVDs…and someone the two people running the booths were related to each other since the dude at the Buddhist table had to price check something with the lady selling porn.

Anyhow we made our way through the market and I saw a lot of really odd stuff. I think the most strange thing I saw, as an American, was the area where people could buy, have slaughtered, and chow down on various animals. I mean I eat meat, I am totally aware of where meat comes from, but there’s something about seeing animals pulled from a cage and dragged around back while crying that is kind of off puting. In America, that kind of stuff is throughly out of the view of the public (so long as you don’t watch videos released by PETA). Still it was not enough t0 make me become a vegetarian, just very different from where I come from.

The other thing that was kind of strange, and I don’t want to perpetuate any stereotypes, but the most common animal to be sold for consumption seemed to be dog. There were cages of them all just chilling out, waiting for their turn. Additionally I saw a sign proclaiming 고양이탕 (cat stew), which is something I had never seen in all my years here. I mean everyone knows that dog is consumed (though not with great frequency), but I’d never heard of cat meat stew.

Additionally right next to the area where one could buy, have killed, have cooked, and chow down on various animals, was the area where one could buy pets. This was pretty odd since chances are if they various rabbits, puppies, and chicks were not sold when they were small and cute, they would move over one row and be able to be eaten.

After checking out various animals we snagged some Coolatas at Dunkin’ Donuts, and then got on our bikes and power jammed it back towards our homestead.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

The weekend rolled around again, and once more I was up to my eyeballs in wedding related adventures. Saturday morning began with a trip into the city with my wife, sister-in-law, and father-in-law. The crux of the trip was a visit to the hanbok shop. For you see, several weeks back the wife and I had ordered some hanboks and they were allegedly ready to be worn as was my sister-in-law’s. My father-in-law had to place an order and had the wheels so he came with us.

The trip into Seoul was fairly unremarkable, though I did learn that my sister-in-law hates the saxophone, though no reason was ever given as for why exactly she loathed it. Anyhow after the drive in we met up at the shop and after selecting some colors for my father-in-law’s hanbok, the rest of us went into another building to try on the hanbok.

For those of you that have never worn a hanbok, the pictures don’t really do justice to just how roomy the pants are (I can only speak for the male hanbok, since I didn’t wear the female one). I could seriously gain 150 pounds and still be able to wear the same hanbok I have now. Anyhow the hanboks were all in order, and my sister-in-law’s boyfriend snapped a couple pictures for us (I particularly enjoy the fact that I’m sporting sneakers in the pictures), and then we went back to the first building to pay and get some bonus gifts…at least the women did. They were given handbags, shoes, hanbok underwear, and so on. I got nothing.

From there we all parted ways. The wife and I headed to 인사동 because she had to meet a friend and give said friend a wedding invitation. I had to kill some time alone so I grabbed some lunch, bought a couple CDs, and then checked out the 농악 (or whatever version of Korean traditional percussion I actually saw) in 인사동. If you have no idea of what I speak, check the short film I shot located below.

Now if rockin’ traditional drumming is not awesome enough, there was that made this event even more awesome. At the end of the drum performance, a woman got on the microphone and declared that now there would be free 떡 (ddeok / rice cakes) and 막걸리 (makkoli / rice wine). Free food, as everyone knows, is just about the most awesome thing ever, but free alcohol?! That’s like awesomeness to the nth degree. So I sat on some bench and drank alcohol with old men and homeless guys…it was pretty awesome. At about that time the wife called me to let me know that her meeting was over and we could carry on with our wedding shopping.

So we walked from Insadong over to Myeong-dong to go shopping for shoes…for me. While shopping the wife confessed to me, “Shopping must be so boring for men…look at these shoes you have two choices: black and brown…they all look the same.” Yet somehow we still couldn’t find any decent footwear. A big part of this was the fact that very few stores carry shoes large than the size 275 (which is not really a size that fits me well). Eventually we scored a pair of shoes, and then did some non-wedding related shopping before calling it a night and heading home. So for those of you keeping track at home: hanboks and complete and shoes are complete. Next Week: studio wedding photos!

Long before Bae Yong-joon (배용준) transformed into Japanese superhero Yong-sama (ヨン様), he was just a guy walking around cold and hungry. The year was 1994, and on a bitter winter’s eve Yong-sama and his buddy were attempting to score some ramyeon and perhaps some beret wearing ladies. Anyway, this commercial raises one important question in my mind, and that is: Is this guy ever not wearing a sweater and scarf combo?

Here we have a music video for Crying Nut’s best known tune, “말달리자.” How well known is this song? It’s the kind of song that even girls that only like sappy ballads, and middle aged men that listen to trot know. Anyway, this song is super fun, and super easy to learn, so everyone study up and then the next time you are made to go to 노래방 you can rock out on a tune other that “Hotel California,” or other “pop songs.”

I’ve lived in the country nearly three years now, and thought I had heard every single name that a white person in Korea can be called. I’ve heard 외국인, 외국사람, 미국인, 미국사람, 백인, 씹새끼…pretty much every title that is bellowed when a westerner enters the premise. So imagine my surprise when I was address in not one, but two new ways in the past week.

The first came the other day while I was walking home from work. Cutting through an apartment complex, a group of elementary school girls saw me and one of them in utter shock proclaimed, “와! 영어사람 이다!”

Now for those who can’t read, speak, or understand Korean at all, let me break this one down for you. The first word, “와! (Wah!)” is basically the same thing as “Woah!” in English. People proclaim it when they are in shock. If I hear it, it is usually followed by 미국사람, or 외국인…but not this time. The last word “이다 (ida)” is the verb “to be.” Verbs go at the end of the sentence in Korean, other than that nothing to really say about this word. The middle part is what caused me to do a double take.

“영어 (young-oh)” is English as in the language. It is not used when talking about people or brands of beer or companies. “사람 (saram)” means person. So this girl was proclaiming her shock at seeing an “English language person.” I was with 진희 at the time and turned to her, “Did that girl just call me a 영어사람?”

“Yes she did.”

“Can people do that in Korean?”

“Nope.”

Fast forward a couple days, and I was sent to the supermarket to purchase some carrots and bananas. Buying produce works like this in most Korean supermarkets: you take the vegetable you want out of a big bin, put it in a plastic bag, hand that bag to a dude working in the store. That dude then weighs the vegetables, slaps a price sticker on it, and gives it back to you.

So I got my 흙당근 (dirt carrots…apparently the dirt keeps them fresh) bagged them and handed them to the guy working there. He slapped the sticker on the bag, and with a big smile handed them back to me and proclaimed in English, “Thank you Conky!”

Conky? As a child of the 1980s, right away I thought of the robot from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Then as my brain parsed what had been said I was reminded of another television Conky, that being the puppet from the outstanding Canadian television program Trailer Park Boys. So I got my carrots and bananas, and left the supermarket feeling pretty awesome…much better than when I was reduced to simply being an “English Language Person.”

Thanks to the producers of that Jean-Claude Van Damme film, this is only the second worst adaption of the classic video game Street Fighter I’ve ever seen. If you’ve ever wanted to see a Korean version of Balrog totally check this out now.

As of late I’ve been reading a lot of Korean history books / historical texts in Korean, because it seems like a decent thing to do. In my recent readings, I came across an outstanding list from the Chosun period (who doesn’t love lists or the Chosun period?) detailing food stuffs that should not have been eaten by pregnant women. So I have gone through the trouble of translating this list for everyone to enjoy.

「옛 임산부들의 금지식품」*
Food prohibited for pregnant women long ago

닭고기: 피부가 닭살처럼 된다.
Chicken: The skin will be like a chicken’s flesh.

돼지고기: 풍기가 있고, 족발을 먹으면 육손이 된다.
Pork: The child will have morals**, and if ham hocks (pig’s feet) are eaten the child will be born with six fingers.

오리고기: 손가락 발가락이 오리발처럼 된다.
Duck: The hands and feet will be like that of a duck (webbed).

개고기: 아이가 앙알거린다.
Dog: The baby will bark like a dog.

토끼고기: 언청이가 되거나 눈이 빨개진다.
Rabbit: The child will have a harelip and red eyes.

자라: 목이 짧은 아기를 낳는다.
Snapping Turtle: A short necked child will be born.

녹용: 머리가 둔한 아기를 낳는다.
Antlers of a Young Deer: A dull-witted child will be born.

잉어: 딸을 낳는다.
Carp: A daughter will be born.

게 아이가 옆으로 나온다.
Crab: The baby will come out sideways.

홍어: 아기 몸이 납작해지고 피부가 거칠어진다.
Skate: The baby’s body will be flat and the skin will be rough.

낙지, 문어, 해삼, 가오리: 뼈 없는 아기를 낳는다.
Squid, Octopus, Sea Cucumber, Stingray: A boneless child will be born.

가자미: 눈이 가자미처럼 삐뚤어진다.
Flatfish: The eyes will be crooked like those of a flatfish.

메밀: 임산부의 배가 얇아지거나 유산한다.
Buckwheat: The pregnant woman’s stomach will become thin or she will miscarry.

밀가루: 소화가 안되고 태아가 밀가루를 뒤집어쓴다.
Flour: The woman will be unable to digest and the embryo will be covered with flour.

쌀: 생쌀을 먹으면 젖이 마른다.
Rice: If you eat rice, your breast will be dry.

팥: 살경이 검은 아기를 낳는다.
Red Bean: A child with a dark complexion will be born.

버섯: 아기가 튼튼하지 못하다. 수명이 짧아진다.
Mushroom: The child will not be hearty, and the life span will be shortened.

고추: 유산하거나 바보를 낳는다. 입덧이 심해진다.
Red Pepper: The feteus will abort or the child will be born a moron. Morning sickness will be severe.

무, 두부, 호박: 임산부의 이가 상한다.
Radish, Tofu, Pumpkin/Zucchini: The pregnant woman’s teeth will rot.

미나리: 아기가 복학에 걸린다. 유산한다.
Dropwart: The baby will be caught in the spleen. Miscarriage.

더덕: 젖이 안 나온다.
Codonopsis lanceolata: Breast milk will not be generated.

밤: 쌍밤을 먹으면 쌍뚱이를 낳는다.
Chestnut: If you eat chestnuts, you will give birth to twins.

인삼: 젖이 잘 나온지 않는다. 태아가 커서 난산한다.
Ginseng: Breast milk will not be generated well. The delivery will be difficult due to the fact that the embryo will be large.

흰죽: 분만시 태아가 흰 보를 쓰고 나온다.
Rice Gruel: The child will come out in a white covering at the time of birth.

무김치: 임산부의 이가 상한다.
Radish Kimchi: The pregnant woman’s teeth will rot.

감주: 유산한다.
Sweet Rice Drink: Miscarriage.

* The original Korean version of this list originally appeared in the book 「뜻밖의 한국사」 by 김경훈.

** The word 풍기 means “morals” or “discipline” which doesn’t really seem like a negative trait. However the term 풍기 문란 means “corruption,” which seems more appropriate. The original text was lacking the 문란 part, therefore if you eat pork your child will be moral.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

So after a day spent in the rain, and riding buses 진희 and I were back home, and oddly enough the weather was fantastic! The morning was spent relaxing and resting after the long weekend of being road warriors, but after we had lunch we decided to take advantage of the outstanding weather and do exactly what mothers across America were always bellowing at children spending a spring afternoon playing Nintendo: we went outside and got some fresh air.

진희 and I grabbed a camera, a tripod, and our bikes and headed out for a relaxing bike ride. Near our home is a stream known as 탄천 that has a decent bike / foot path and a series of small parks along the banks. This is the place we usually go when we ride, so it wasn’t really anything special, but a stream in the spring is a far different creature from a stream in the dead of winter. Grasses and trees which had previously been barren, were now an explosion of green. Cranes and ducks landed in the stream, and large fish splashed about in the water.

After riding a distance I measure as three subway stations, we stopped to take some photographs. Suprisingly a lot of them turned out really well. With adequate photos taken for my wife to update her cyworld page, we decided it was time to move on. With Monday being 어버이날 (Parent’s Day) here in Korea we (and by we I mean 진희) decided that it would be in our best interest to pick up some gifts for her parents. 진희 informed me that we would be going to a department store which was a distance of two subway stations from the place which we stood.

“Let’s ride!”

We took off down the bicycle path, avoiding children and small dogs. Finally we were close to our destination, so we headed off the path and onto the real street. Now we had to not only avoid children and small dogs, but also motorcycles and buses. As we headed toward the department store, something caught 진희’s eye.

“Have you ever been to 중앙공원 (Central Park)?” she asked.

“I have in New York.”

“Have you been to Central Park here?”

“No. Is it nearby?”

“It’s right over there.”

“Then let’s check it out.”

So we took a quick detour and headed to 분당 중앙공원. The park was beautiful. There was a large pond in the center of the park with elegant stone bridges crossing it. There was a pavilion decorated with 단청. And everywhere around us people we skating, biking, or having picnics.

KOREA FUN FACT: Apparently one can get pizza, fried chicken, and Chinese food delivered to large parks in order to have picnics. I’m not really sure how the delivery men find the people that ordered the food though.

Since we had both a camera and a tripod it should be more than obvious that copious photographs were taken in the park (see the example to the right). If you wish to see more photographs taken over the course of this day, kindly form a single file line and walk quietly to this site.

Following the photo session we headed over to the department store to pick up some gifts. Apparently things such as socks and hair dye are appropriate gifts, since that is what was purchased. Also we bought the materials needed to make 마파두부. From there we headed back home. The end.

A funny thing happened to me on the way to Gyeong-ju (경주). After a day spent living it up in Busan, 진희 and I awoke to find that during the night the weather had gone from glorious to far less than glorious. The sky was an ugly gray and a steady rain was falling. We had already bought bus tickets to the city know as Gyeong-ju, so we decided to simply head out there and hope for the best.

Gyeong-ju is a city chock-full of Silla (신라) era historical junk, unfortunately (or fortunately depending on the weather) most of them are huge buildings or monuments located outside. Therefore a trip to Gyeong-ju could quickly start to suck much ass if the weather was not great, as it appeared to be that Saturday morning.

Anyhow 진희 and I showered up, returned our room key, and then headed off to the bus terminal. In the terminal we purchased some breakfast and canned coffee and sat down to wait for our bus to arrive. This is the point at which something completely insane happened to me. I sat in a chair by the area my bus was set to depart from and was attempting to open a sandwich which was oddly wrapped in plastic. Somewhere in the station was some slightly obese woman clad in Buddhist monk gear, with a visor approved by the 아줌마 Board of Fashion, and a “top pony tail” sprouting out of the top of the visor. She was walking through the subway station chanting something.

I paid this woman no mind, and had just opened the wrapper on my sandwich when something was slammed into the top of my skull. I looked up and there was the woman, clasping the object which she had just smacked me in the head with. It was a set of wooden Buddhist prayer beads, each the size of a small child’s fist. I was more surprised than anything else, though if I were to say it didn’t hurt at all I would be a liar.

I glared at the woman, and shouted a stream of Korean profanity at the woman which summed a security guard who was standing a few feet away. As the guard dragged this woman away she did that “You wanna go?” arms to the chest move to me. You know that move that white trash warriors on Jerry Springer are want to do before throwing chairs at people. At this point I kind of had to laugh, especially when two other people waiting for the bus looked over at me and then the woman, and then both did the universal sign for a nut-job (the single finger rotating about the ear).

With my morning skull crushing out of the way we got on the bus and headed off towards Gyeong-ju. Again the bus ride was fairly uneventful, mainly because I was unconscious most of the time as a result of blunt trauma to the head. After an hour or so we were there…in Gyeong-ju, and somehow the weather seemed to be alright. Sure the sky was a little overcast, but it actually looked like it was going to clear up. Boy was that a misconception!

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

From the express bus terminal the wife and I hopped on a local bus bound for Bulguksa (불국사 / 佛國寺).

Bulguksa is a large Silla era Buddhist temple, and is probably the most famous of all Buddhist temples in South Korea.

After a 50 minute or so bus ride we arrived at the temple, just in time for the rains to begin. At first the rain was not that bad, but as we wandered around the temple grounds the rains became increasingly heavier.

The temple, inspite of the less than ideal weather, was simply beautiful. The buildings, paintings, and stone work was all outstanding. At the temple we saw a large number of foreign tourists, who oddly enough were all senior citizens. I want to give mad props to those people, who were seriously trucking around in crappy weather, seeing the world. It was awesome!

So my wife and I checked out the grounds, took some photos and then decided that we would head to the nearby Seokkuram (석굴암) and check out an extremely famous piece of Korean Buddhist artwork.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

As we headed toward the bus stop we first stopped at 아줌마’s cart to purchase some yellow garbage bags…or rather yellow rain coats in an effort to prevent our clothes from becoming even more saturated, but it was too little too late.

“Are your shoes wet?” 진희 asked.

“I don’t even know…probably.”

Anyhow I digress. We headed to the bus stop and got on the bus that would take us up the mountain to Seokkuram.

The bus started up the rain slicked mountain roads. Clearly the bus was in Korea. The bus driver floored it up the mountain, whipping around curves like it was a sports car.

At was at that point when a car coming down the mountain crossed over the yellow line and came inches from smashing into the side of the bus. The bus driver cracked the window open and cursed out the driver of the other vehicle. Everyone on the bus kind of held their breath recovering from the shock…everyone except 진희 who was calmly munching on Pringles.

“Why are we stopped?”

Near death experiences aside we arrived at the temple grounds, and after a brief mountain hike in driving rain we were at the statue…kind of.

The statue was located in a cave with a small building attached to the front. It was the main attraction of this area and everyone wanted to check it out. The only problem was, the small ante-room could only hold so many people.

So we waited in a line, in the rain, to see a statue. Anyhow I’d seen pictures of this venue in books, and somehow the statue seems much more impressive in photos than it does in person. In the photos the statue seems massive, but face to face in doesn’t seem that huge.

Anyhow we checked out 석굴암 and headed back to the bus stop in order to head down the mountain. The rain was still coming down in buckets, and by this point everything we had with us was completely drenched.

We decided that it would be in our best interest to head back to our hometown. So we went back to the express bus terminal, got some tickets, and headed back north. We were wet, but had a great time.

Again, for those of you that enjoy photographs of historical monuments and pictures of me standing with said buildings check out the complete set of these pictures here.

This past Friday (May 5th, 2006), in South Korea, there were not one, but two national holidays: Children’s Day (어린이날) and Buddha’s Birthday (부처님 오신날). Due to these holidays, neither 진희 nor I had any work to do. Therefore, we reserved some bus tickets to the southern reaches of the Korean Peninsula.

The day started for us at the crack of dawn. The bus we were taking to Busan left the bus terminal at 6:30 in the morning, so we were up at 5:00. Showers were taken, final packing was done, and then we were on our way to Busan. We walked to a bus stop. We took a bus from the stop to the subway station. We took the subway to the express bus terminal, and from the terminal we were off to Busan. The trip from Bundang to Busan was completely uneventful. The wife and I slept most of the way there, save for the short period during which the bus pulled into a rest area for a quick potty / eat stuff on a stick break.

Approximately five hours later we were at the bus terminal in Busan. It wasn’t long before my ears were assaulted with the local regional dialect. I am still amazed that a country as geographically small as Korea can have such diverse and different dialects from region to region. I suppose that the different regional dialects can be attributed to the mountainous geography of the country. Anyhow back to Busan’s dialect…I personally found it extremely difficult to understand and had to really focus to understand what people were saying. It’s really difficult to explain it, so I’ll turn your attention to this here website explaining the dialect of the area.

From the terminal we got on a subway train and headed towards Haeundae (해운대), a beach area. The subway system in Seoul is much easier to use than its counterpart in Busan. The Busan system seemed to have only three different lines, with very few stations at which one could transfer. Additionally the subway trains seemed to be much more narrow and definately shorter than those in Seoul. None of this was really a problem, since we got from point A to point B (b is for beach) with no problems what-so-ever.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

Haeundae was simply amazing. The entire area had a very laid back and relaxing vibe (good God I sound like such a hippie). Due to the fact that the beach area was surrounded by large buildings and such, Haeundae and the surrounding area kind of reminded me of Repulse Bay in Hong Kong. 진희 said she was reminded of San Fransisco for the same reason.

After a walk on the beach and a quick snack of the regional delicacy, 어묵 / 오뎅(ohmook / odeng) we decided to head to the nearby area known as 달맞이길 (Moon Viewing Road).

Inspite of the fact that we visited the Moon Viewing Road in the middle of the afternoon, the place was still quite nice. Basically it was a walkway up a hill, and at the top of the hill there was a pavilion overlooking the ocean. All in all it was really quite pretty. After seeing the lack of a moon at the summit of the Moon Viewing Road, we decided to head back into the city proper and then onward to an island in the south where there were ferry rides. So we jumped on a bus and took off for further adventure.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

BUSAN FUN FACT: Just as there is a brand of milk known as Seoul Milk which can be purchased in Seoul, Busan has a similarly named milk. Dubbed Busan Milk (or 부산우유 in Korean) it is virtually identical to all other milk. As a quick aside, Seoul Milk is also sold in Busan.

After a quick bus ride we disembarked near Busan station and began making our way towards Taejongdae (태종대), the afore mentioned island with ferry rides. As we walked we asked various citizens of Busan for directions, all of them responding with vague, “It’s that way. No, it’s not too far,” type directions. So we walked and walked. We went past the area dubbed 상해문 (上海門 / Shanghai Gate), which inspite having a Chinese theme going on with the street lights was extremely Russian (all manner of Cyrillic signs were there). We walked past the dry fish market with a sign with a giant cartoon character squid statue attached to it. Oh what smells rose from that area! We crossed a bridge. On and on we walked. “That way! Not more than 10 minutes!”

Apparently Busan residents have some sort of The Flash-esque speed going on since after walking a good five kilometers or so, we gave up and got on a bus. The bus to the island took approximately 15 minutes. Anyhow we unfortunately arrived a little to late to ride the ferry since the stop running at 6:00 in the evening. Therefore instead of riding on a ship, we sat on a dock and took some more photos. After a short period of looking at waves, we decided to head back towards the city and stop in and have dinner at a fish market.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

Vegetarians, animal rights activists, and those of you that can not stand the thought of consuming sea creatures, please skip this next Busan Fun Fact.

BUSAN FUN FACT: In Busan (and perhaps other coastal areas in Korea) it is possible, and fully legal to eat whale meat (which is exactly what the picture to the right is a picture of). That’s right, while in Busan I chowed down upon Shamu. So how does whale taste? Great! It doesn’t have a real fishy taste to it, and it’s not quite a meat taste. It’s kind of hard to explain. The blubber is kind of buttery tasting, and the skin is really chewy. The only draw back to whale meat is the cost. The small plate shown in the picture cost 20,000 won (roughly $20US).

Ok…it’s safe to come back now! In addition to the above, we also had some extremely fresh 회 (raw fish). Submitted for your approval is the following video of our dinner plate.

That pink, moving stuff on the plate is 해삼 (海蔘 / haesam) also known as a sea cucumber.

With dinner out of the way we decided to check out the area known as 용두산공원 (龍頭山公園 / Dragon Head Mountain Park). This park is the home of the Busan Tower and is very similar to 남산 (南山 / South Mountain) in Seoul…only there were palm trees, a statue of 이순신, and a statue of a dragon with a light in its mouth. On the mountain, 진희 and I had a soft drink and looked out over the night skyline of Busan. When we decided that we had had enough, we got on a subway train and headed back towards the bus terminal to get a room for the night. Since we had to be on a bus out of the city early the next morning, we thought it would be best to stay near the bus terminal.

We ended up staying in a fairly sleazy place. It was the kind of hotel where the only things on the television were Japanese porno films (and to the person that left a comment about 현영 voice, I know now what you were talking about when you brought up porn from the land of the rising sun). Anyhow we drank some brews and then headed off to sleep. Thus concludes day one of our southern pilgrimage.

The complete photo set can be located here, in the event that you wish to examine other photographs of my wife and I in the city of 부산.

I don’t know why, but for some reason vapid Korean talent, 현영 (Hyeon Young or however you wish to Romanize that name), bugs the hell out of me. I mean there are countless other actors, singers, and gagman…oh don’t get me started on the gagman, who are as annoying if not more annoying than Miss Hyeon. Additionally Miss Hyeon has something a lot of the other celebrities (again, particularly the gagman) do not, and that is quasi-decent looks.

All that aside, there is something about her that just bugs me to no end. Actually I wish to retract my earlier statement that I don’t know exactly why I detest this woman. I know exactly the reason why, and that reason is quite simply her voice. She has that kind of voice that I can’t stand (no not the six year old kid that sounds like he smokes 3 packs of Newports a day and when he speaks it makes you want to clear your throat): the “I’m trying so hard to sound cute, that I’m going to make myself sound like a retarded six year old girl, when in reality I’m a 30 year old woman voice.”

Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard, and everytime that I hear her speak I want to stick sharp objects in my ears. I think the reason that I am so bothered by her voice is the fact that it is a total affectation. For some reason people, I’m not going to name any names, are under the impression that this kind of voice is cute, so Hyeon Young plays it up. In all fairness, she is not the only one in this nation that does so. A quick walk through a larger supermarket, and you will hear countless women using their kindergarten / cartoon character “cute” voice, summoning you to come and try various products. But none of those women are famous!

Anyhow here is a quick clip of Hyeon Young in action. However, I must warn you, she’s super annoying. Please be careful!

Hyeon Young is the woman on the running machine, talking about how her breasts hurt because she wasn’t wearing a bra. As a quick aside this is quite possibly the most risque thing I have encountered on television in Korea.

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Originally uploaded by wdunn.

Sometime last week 진희 and I acquired, through fairly dubious means, tortillas and assorted other materials required to play the eat tacos home edition. Sunday being the first day in a long time that I’ve had any time, tacos were totally prepared and junk by yours truly.

Since beef is like gold here, or perhaps gold is cheaper…I’ll have to check with my sister-in-law, we opted for chicken tacos. So this morning we had a quick trip to Carrefore to pick up chicken and assorted vegetables that we were lacking. Of course a shopping list that included four items ended up being about 10 items, but it’s all good.

Back at the homestead I hit the kitchen like I was Jamie Oliver…or at least a fry cook at Burger King. I got to work chopping up some meat and then got my pan fry going on. 진희 was assigned the tasks of chopping a tomato, chopping a cucumber, and washing some lettuce. Things were going extremely well, until I realized we had nothing remotely close to taco cheese. Playing the part of taco cheese were three ripped up slices of processed American cheese, and honestly it didn’t fair too poorly.

So we served up my taco creations to her parents. Neither of them had ever encountered a taco before, but went to town on them. It was kind of funny to watch their reactions to a kind of food I have consumed countless times, and I’m sure it is how various people here feel when subjecting me to various food items. Food items that are common and throughly unremarkable to them seems unique and exotic to me. This time I got to be on the other end of the table.

Anyhow the tacos turned out fairly well…except for the fact that taco type cheeses do not exist here in Korea and we had to substitute ripped up pieces of processed cheese slices for more appropriate cheeses. Anyhow it turned out well, and everyone was please. The end.

It’s offical! I now know what I want for my birthday. No, not a Samsung Econo television set. I want an owl. I want an owl wearing a graduation cap. I want an owl wearing a graduation cap that speaks Korean. No, I want an owl wearing a graduation cap that speaks Korean with huge levels of reverb on his voice. That’s what I want. Check this ad fr0m the 1970s if you need to see an example.