As you may or not know, my wife and I are in the process of getting out of Korea and heading back to the US of A. As part of the process we are required to prove that my wife is not a criminal or a threat to the peaceful society that is America. So we have to present her criminal records. To obtain this in Korea all we had to do was walk into the police station hand over her ID card and wait 40 minutes. Case closed!
But due to the fact that my wife lived in Canada for a year, we must also produce a Canadian criminal report. This is proving to be slightly more difficult so please bear with me as I go off on a rant. If you are Canadian with Canadian flags all over everything you own and are easily offend by people bad mouthing your country, or if you are an American that seems to think Canada is the greatest land ever and don’t want that illusion tarnished, turn back now before it’s too late.
Ok all the sensitive people are gone now? Good. The follow rant was directed at my brother who happened to be on AIM requesting Wesley Willis Fiasco tunes from me.
ME: can i get a “Fuck canada!”
MY BROTHER: oh yeah i heard about that
MY BROTHER: are they being bitches?
ME: yeah they are indeed.
ME: at least 150 days for them to look up my wife’s name and print out a copy of a blank criminal record.
MY BROTHER: shit
MY BROTHER: thats like half a year
ME: yup…about half a year
ME: and the direct quote was that it would take, “in excess of 150 days”
ME: when you get up to the hundreds when talking about number of days switch to months assholes.
ME: if I see 5 months I’m going to get less pissed off then if I see 150 days
ME: even though I know in my heart of hearts that they are exactly the same
MY BROTHER: yeah
ME: i think canadian police force know that they suck ass as well, since there’s some thing on their webpage about how they will not respond to any emails that include profanity.
ME: oh and also they don’t have a way to download the form I need…so I have to email them requesting they mail me the form.
MY BROTHER: wow
ME: but also they did not have the email address I needed to request the form so i had to write an email to some third party requesting an email address so I could send the email to request a form that most 1st World countries would have on their offical website.
ME: stupid developing country canada!
MY BROTHER: yeah
ME: they seriously are pissing me off
And that was pretty much the end of the rant. Tune in tomorrow if you want to hear about a trip I took to some mountain.
I’m Canadian and I know exactly what you’re talking about. That’s why I live in Japan. Five minutes talking to the Canadian Embassy is enough to remind me what it’s like.
I end up throwing the phone at the wall.
Comment by Mitch — September 26, 2006 @ 13:57 pm
And people complain about Korean bureaucracy….give me that any day
Comment by daeguowl — September 27, 2006 @ 2:48 am
Uh oh…Zack’s sn is up there, bro! Now crazy stalkers can stalk him! SNAPPZZZZ!
Comment by Ailinn — September 27, 2006 @ 6:00 am
Yup..I hear you..
It’s a bit sluggish ….
Trackback by I Dream Therefore I Am — September 28, 2006 @ 6:43 am
things are somewhat slow up in canadaland.
but i’ve got to admit, i am thankful for the McKenzie brothers, the movie slapshot and hockey in general.
do you have any loonies or toonies in your pocket?
Comment by james — September 29, 2006 @ 7:42 am
James,
They are in a bucket on my bookcase along with assorted American coins, Japanese yen, and coins from Hong Kong that totally look like weapons.
As for things from Canada that I am thankful for: as a college student I was thankful for their cheap, albeit disgusting beer, and the television show Trailer Park Boys.
Comment by Wyatt — September 29, 2006 @ 9:50 am
I love Canada and every thing in it except the ppl cause the are sick, moose-fuckin, douchebags!!!
Canada is awsome the ppl in it just fuckin retarded.
Comment by Toast7x — December 1, 2007 @ 23:32 pm