I’ve been reading some Korean history books / books on Korean culture as of late, so primarily due to the fact that I want to work on some simple translating, and secondarily because I want to occassionally provide some insightful information about Korean culture outside of the realm of indie rock and 1980’s ice cream commercials you are going to occassionally be subjected to poorly translated passages about various aspects of traditional Korean culture.
Today you are getting a passage from 김경훈’s book 「뜻밖의 한국사.」 I translated another passage from this book many moons ago, and I’m electing to do so again primarily because it deals more with strange and unusal aspects of history (particularly daily life) as opposed to simply bellowing about dates, politics, and battles. Today we are going to take a look at the origin of 연지곤지 (from this point on known as yeonjigonji), the red dot make-up traditionally used by brides.
Is Yeonjigonji An Indication That A Woman Is Having Her Period?
“Today I Can’t Be Of Service To The King”
Yeonji is a kind of make-up that is used to give red color to the lips and cheeks. If this make-up was applied to the forhead that dot was known as gonji. It is clear that yeonjigonji didn’t mix well with ancient Koreans’ traditionally simple tastes and style, as the color is very vivid and the shape is very pronounced. So why did they use this make-up?
There are several theories, and among them, the most interesting theory is that yeonjigonji was originally used to indicate that a woman was having her period. Middle class women most likely would not have needed to indicate this, but women of the royal court would use yeonji on their cheek to indicate, “Today I can’t be of service to the king.”
Since these women could not boldly declare, “Sorry, but today I’m having me period,” to a strict king they would use yeonji as an indication of that very thing. That way, the king could look upon the woman’s face with dignity and be reminded of a period simply be seeing the red mark on her face. This practice of applying yeonjigongi to the face spread to the middle class where it became all the rage. It is likely that if these middle class women knew of the fact that yeonji make-up was used to represent a period, they did not believe it.
Ruddy Cheeks: The Symbol Of Youth And Virginity
We have all seen countless traditional weddings in historical dramas broadcast on TV in which the bride sits quietly with yeonjigonji applied. Interestingly enough, in this old custom, women who were remarrying were not allowed to paint their cheeks or forehead. Accordingly due to the differences in first in second marriage customs we seem to be able to find the original meaning of yeonjigonji. If this is the case, then isn’t yeonjigonji a manifestation of virginity?
Young virgins’ cheeks would appear red without make-up. Furthermore, a little shame would also cause cheeks to become ruddy. Therefore ruddy cheeks are a symbol of the freshness and youth of a virgin. It is unknown if yeonjigonji was applied to the cheeks and forehead due to this association.
The Korean people traditionally prefered clean, white faces. It is recorded in the Song Chinese text, “Goryeodogyeong 高麗圖經” that noblewomen of the Goryeo royal court did not often apply yeonji, yet it was standard for them to apply facial powder. It wasn’t dark make-up, but rather faint make-up with a light tone that these women liked to use. Due to the opposition towards dark make-up, there was resistance towards applying this kind of facial make-up. Therefore yeonji was a special make-up that was only used on special occassions, namely weddings when people needed to give a symbol of their youth. Yeonji make-up began to be used in earnest during the Shilla dynasty. It is therefore the case that yeonji is a Shilla invention.
If we look to ancient records we will find that there were two methods by which yeonji was produced. One method utilized a natural dye while the other method made use of a chemically produced material. The natural dye used was the safflower. The petals of a 1-2 year old safflower, originally yellow would turn slightly red. These safflowers if ground up and soaked in water would have the yellow pigment melt away and only the red pigment would remain. If this red pigment was further treated, red yeonji would be formed. On the other hand, chemically produced yeonji was created using cinnabar. With mercury as the primary ingredient of cinnabar, yeonji was created by mixing an egg yolk with the cinnabar in a boiling cauldron. Cinnabar yeonji was both redder and glossier that safflower yeonji. However much like the current problem with overdosing on some types of make-up, people that used this cinnabar yeonji for extended periods of time ended up suffering from mercury poisoning. But instead of being sensibile, place ladies and kisaeng used cinnabar yeonji frequently.
Like I said several posts back, recently I’ve been reading a lot of books on Korean history, and in reading these books I’m discovering quite outstanding chunks of vocabulary I had previously be largely unaware of. Today I present unto you, a list of alternate words that one would have to use when talking to or about a king.
“Say what?!”
Korean like Japanese (and I’m sure some other languages) has different levels of respect reflected in their speech so that one would not make a suggestion to a kindergarten student the same way they would make a suggestion to their boss at work. To this end there are from time to time, completely different words meaning the same thing that one would use to different people. A current example that comes to mind quickly is the verb “to eat.” If I were to talk about eating with someone of a lower or equal social status to myself I could use the word “먹다,” but if I were speaking with someone social higher than myself I would have to use the word “잡수다.”
Confused? Good…so am I! Anyhow back in the day the person at the top of the social status pyramid was the king. Therefore there was a whole set of alternative vocabulary that existed to talk about the junk the king was up to. So here, for your enjoyment and mine is a list of assorted kingly words from the Chosun period (and possibly earlier, but the book I learned about them in only was talking about the Chosun period).
So let’s look at some words that you must know in the event that you happen to meet any Chosun-era royality.
Of all the words I think my personal favorite would have to be 통기. Seriously, why would anyone be rappin’ with the king about ripping ass? I would assume that a royal fart would be kind of like a fart released by one’s conservative grandfather in that you just kind of ignore it and pretend it didn’t happen. Anyhow if for some reason you know any other regal words release the compassion and leave a comment.
This list originally appeared in Korean in the book 「경복궁에서의 왕의 하루」 written by 청동말굽. Low quality English translation done by yours truly.
As of late I’ve been reading a lot of Korean history books / historical texts in Korean, because it seems like a decent thing to do. In my recent readings, I came across an outstanding list from the Chosun period (who doesn’t love lists or the Chosun period?) detailing food stuffs that should not have been eaten by pregnant women. So I have gone through the trouble of translating this list for everyone to enjoy.
「옛 임산부들의 금지식품」*
Food prohibited for pregnant women long ago
닭고기: 피부가 닭살처럼 된다.
Chicken: The skin will be like a chicken’s flesh.
돼지고기: 풍기가 있고, 족발을 먹으면 육손이 된다.
Pork: The child will have morals**, and if ham hocks (pig’s feet) are eaten the child will be born with six fingers.
오리고기: 손가락 발가락이 오리발처럼 된다.
Duck: The hands and feet will be like that of a duck (webbed).
개고기: 아이가 앙알거린다.
Dog: The baby will bark like a dog.
토끼고기: 언청이가 되거나 눈이 빨개진다.
Rabbit: The child will have a harelip and red eyes.
자라: 목이 짧은 아기를 낳는다.
Snapping Turtle: A short necked child will be born.
녹용: 머리가 둔한 아기를 낳는다.
Antlers of a Young Deer: A dull-witted child will be born.
잉어: 딸을 낳는다.
Carp: A daughter will be born.
게 아이가 옆으로 나온다.
Crab: The baby will come out sideways.
홍어: 아기 몸이 납작해지고 피부가 거칠어진다.
Skate: The baby’s body will be flat and the skin will be rough.
낙지, 문어, 해삼, 가오리: 뼈 없는 아기를 낳는다.
Squid, Octopus, Sea Cucumber, Stingray: A boneless child will be born.
가자미: 눈이 가자미처럼 삐뚤어진다.
Flatfish: The eyes will be crooked like those of a flatfish.
메밀: 임산부의 배가 얇아지거나 유산한다.
Buckwheat: The pregnant woman’s stomach will become thin or she will miscarry.
밀가루: 소화가 안되고 태아가 밀가루를 뒤집어쓴다.
Flour: The woman will be unable to digest and the embryo will be covered with flour.
쌀: 생쌀을 먹으면 젖이 마른다.
Rice: If you eat rice, your breast will be dry.
팥: 살경이 검은 아기를 낳는다.
Red Bean: A child with a dark complexion will be born.
버섯: 아기가 튼튼하지 못하다. 수명이 짧아진다.
Mushroom: The child will not be hearty, and the life span will be shortened.
고추: 유산하거나 바보를 낳는다. 입덧이 심해진다.
Red Pepper: The feteus will abort or the child will be born a moron. Morning sickness will be severe.
무, 두부, 호박: 임산부의 이가 상한다.
Radish, Tofu, Pumpkin/Zucchini: The pregnant woman’s teeth will rot.
미나리: 아기가 복학에 걸린다. 유산한다.
Dropwart: The baby will be caught in the spleen. Miscarriage.
더덕: 젖이 안 나온다. Codonopsis lanceolata: Breast milk will not be generated.
밤: 쌍밤을 먹으면 쌍뚱이를 낳는다.
Chestnut: If you eat chestnuts, you will give birth to twins.
인삼: 젖이 잘 나온지 않는다. 태아가 커서 난산한다.
Ginseng: Breast milk will not be generated well. The delivery will be difficult due to the fact that the embryo will be large.
흰죽: 분만시 태아가 흰 보를 쓰고 나온다.
Rice Gruel: The child will come out in a white covering at the time of birth.
무김치: 임산부의 이가 상한다.
Radish Kimchi: The pregnant woman’s teeth will rot.
감주: 유산한다.
Sweet Rice Drink: Miscarriage.
* The original Korean version of this list originally appeared in the book 「뜻밖의 한국사」 by 김경훈.
** The word 풍기 means “morals” or “discipline” which doesn’t really seem like a negative trait. However the term 풍기 문란 means “corruption,” which seems more appropriate. The original text was lacking the 문란 part, therefore if you eat pork your child will be moral.
I enjoy myself some Chinese epic literature…it makes me feel smarter than I actually am. So as a good scholar I’ve taken it upon myself to read the classics. I’ve read 三國志 (Romance of the Three Kingdoms), 肉蒲團 (The Carnal Prayer Mat), and of course 西遊記 (Journey to the West). In all fairness, I’ve not read any of them in Chinese…though I have read two of the three (三國志 and 西遊記) in Korean for what that’s worth. Anyhow of those texts I would have to rank Journey to the West as my personal favorite. It’s the right mixture of humor and adventure and avoids getting into men undergoing surgery to have dog penises attached to their own manhood (Carnal Prayer Mat…I’m talking about you buddy!)
So I’ve read the book in English and Korean, and I’ve seen some of the television adaptions, all of which have been fairly enjoyable. So imagine my surprise when the other morning I came across a local Korean animated version of the tale.
Originating in the late 80s or early 90s, 날아라 슈퍼보드 (Flying Superboard) takes the story of 손오공 and his posse and gives them some slight modifications. For starters 손오공 (孫悟空 / Monkey) no longer has control of a cloud on which he can fly, but instead is equipped with some sort of magical skateboard on which he can fly. Additionally instead of a magical staff, he has a pair of nunchucks…in all the episodes I’ve seen it’s not really clear if these nunchucks are magical, or just cooler.
손오공 still travels with 저팔계 (豬八戒 / Pig), who is still a stupid, greedy, glutton. Unlike the original character this version does not do combat with a rake, instead he’s equipped with a bazooka…seriously. How GI Joe is that?! Like 저팔계, 사오정 (沙悟凈 / Sand Monster) differs primarily in his weaponry. While 손오공 and 저팔계 may have gotten weapons upgrades, this version of 사오정 is weilding a pair of 뿅뿅이망치, and that’s just weak. In addition to this, the characters all haul ass all over the place in a badass jeep machine, that looks like it could very well have been a GI Joe vehicle.
So while traditionalists might be put off by these changes, I for one am willing to let them slide, especially when you take into consideration the awesomeness of the opening theme song. That’s right, like all good cartoons, 날아라 슈퍼보드 has a kick ass theme song. A kick ass theme song I’ve gone to the trouble of presenting here. Take it away my uploaded Youtube file!
And because I love you all, as a super special bonus here are 13 episodes you can watch at home. But since I don’t love you that much the episodes are all in the lowest possible quality Real Media form. MWAHAHAHA!
In the couple days while my computer was in the crapper, I did a lot of beer drinking reading. Among the tomes I perused was a copy of 어린왕자 (The Little Prince…ou, en français Le Petit Prince). I have no idea how this book came to be in my possession. I didn’t purchase it, I have no memory of receiving it as a gift, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t steal it.
So I read this work, for the third time in my life. The first time I read it, I was an elementary school student. At that point I thought the story was a lot of fun, probably in part due to the fact that there was a poorly animated Little Prince cartoon on Nickeloden at that point in my life.
In my high school French class, I again read The Little Prince, this time in its original language. This reading was not as enjoyable, primarily due to the fact that I was not a fan of my French class, but reading about baobab trees beat the pants of the endless stream of, “J’ai un rendez-vous avec David en vingt minutes,” that was my high school French class.
Reading it this week (in language number 3) I found myself loathing the book and all of the characters. Perhaps I’ve become an adult and no longer find the adventures of the small alien noble engaging or magical. If anything I found the Prince to be annoying. Perhaps I’ve become too Korean, but when the Prince first appeared, I found him to be incredibly rude.
For those of you with no knowledge of the Korean language, verbs are conjugated to show different levels of respect between speaker and listener. One would not address a stranger and a lover the same way, nor would a child address an adult the same way an adult addresses a child. So with that in mind let’s examine the Little Price’s first words.
“아저씨, 양 한 마리만 그려 줘!” (Mister, draw me a picture of only one sheep and gimme it!)
Traslated into English it doesn’t seem very rude, but the final word 주다 (to give) is conjugated in a form (줘) that would be used between close friends, or by adults speaking to small children, certainly not a child speaking to an older person they didn’t know well. He would have been much better off using 주세요, which is a much more polite way to demand something.
But rudness of the Prince aside, the thing that irked me the most about the book was how creepy the narrator, a pilot who had crash landed in the Sahara, was. A creepy loner guy who claims to have no real friends, he quickly befriends this small, sheep demanding child, due to his own sense of arrested development. The entire time I was reading the book I was creeped out at how much of a child molester the pilot was…the only thing missing was the mustache.
But as much as I hate this book, it holds a special place in the realm of junk I’ve read. The Little Prince / Le Petit Prince / 어린왕자 is more likely than not, the only book I will ever read in three languages…that is unless I decided to run away to Hong Kong, learn Cantonese, and read 三國志 again.
The past two books I read were a collection of Korean fairy tales, and a comic book about ghosts and other crap that goes bump in the night that one of my former students left in the classroom. So today you’re going to suffer through my obsession you have the priviledge of reading a fairly non-scholarly exploration of the supernatural beings of Korea. (cue X-files theme music)
Like I said, this is an extremely non-scholarly work here, so I’m grouping these two beings together, since I’m not sure of any difference between the two, and I’m can’t be bothered to research if any difference does actually exist. In the stories I’ve read, both come across the same. They are old men with crazy ass long white beards who can do magic…basically they are Gandalf from Lord of the Rings, only they never kick Balrog’s ass.
Golden Axe, Silver Axe
One of the most popular of the stories involving these immortals or spirits is the story of the Golden Axe or Silver Axe. The story tells of a poor lumber jack who tosses his crappy axe into a pond. A spirit comes up with a silver axe, and asks the lumber jack if that was the axe he tossed. The man honestly answers that it was not. The spirit presents a golden axe. The man again says that it is not his. The spirit finally shows the man the crappy axe that was his. The man says that the axe is his and as a reward for his honesty the spirit gives all three axes to the man. This story is popular and parodied in all forms of media here in Korea, but the best one is this comic found in 아색기가 (which I found online with extremely little trouble).
Anyhow, a more indepth look into the world of 산신 can be found at http://san-shin.org/
도깨비 (Tokaebi / Goblin)
Next up is the 도깨비. These creatures are kind of goblin like. Sometimes they are helpful, sometimes they are real bastards. They play tricks on people, but I’ve never come across any stories in which 도깨비 kill anyone, which makes them different from the similar looking Japanese creature 鬼 (the oni).
Tokaebi clad in taekwondo garb…these are pretty a-typical looking tokaebi.
도깨비 are usually clad in animal hides (that usually come from some sort of yellow animal with black dots), and carry large knobbed clubs. These clubs are magical and according to some 도깨비 fact sheet I came across once, the 도깨비 could use this club (방망이) to create anything it desired. They are most often depicted as large green human-looking (albeit incredibly ugly human) beings with a single horn on their head, though colors and number of horns can vary.
해태 (Haetae / Magical Lion)
Haetae rocking the scene.
Ah the 해태. Carvings of these creatures were put on the grounds of important buildings such as palaces to prevent fires. 해태 were said to be made of water and for this reason fire wanted nothing to do with them. Oh and now there is a company that produces snack foods that uses 해태 as it’s mascot and namesake. I’ve yet to encounter these beasts in any sort of literature, but they are a quite common icon here, so there you go.
호랑이 (Horang-e / Tiger)
Tyger tyger burning bright…
While 해태 was a magical lion (or according to my electronic dictionary “magical unicorn lion”), these tigers, which frequent Korean fairy tales are just normal tigers, although some tend to have human characteristics (ie. the ability to speak, or wear pants). Tigers in Korean fairy tales and folk lore, often play the same role that the “Big Bad Wolf” plays in western fairy tales. A malevolent force to scare children into behaving.
Ghosts in Korea are not of the same ilk as the white sheet sporting, moaning ghost of the west. If you’ve ever seen the movie “The Ring,” the ghosts of Korea tend to follow the same archtype as the fiend in that film. Female ghosts look bedraggled with hair in their face, and they are always clad in white (the color worn in funnerals).
Males tend to behave themselves after death, but the few male ghosts I’ve seen (in books, movie, and television shows) tend to have pasty white flesh, and dark lips. They also tend to being wearing a 갓 (horse hair hat worn during the 조선 period).
빨간마스크 (Bbalgan Mask / Red Mask)
Red Mask Ghost sans mask.
This is a fairly modern addition to the pantheon of stuff to creep out elementary school students. The story behind 빨간마스크 leads me to believe that she is a Japanese import. 빨간마스크 is a woman (some tellings specify she is Japanese), who underwent plastic surgery, but it went horribly wrong. She ended up with the edge of her mouth cut into a huge freakish smile (see picture for yourself).
She covers this mouth up with a medical red mask (hence the name), and asks people if she is pretty or not. She then reveals her mouth, and proceeds to cut the victim with a sickle. For some reason people who put the Chinese character for “dog” (犬) on their hands will be left alone by this ghoul.
빨간마스크 became emensely popular here in Korea, spawning a host of other colored mask sporting fiends. I think one of them (초록마스크 perhaps) shoots acid out of their mouth, and another has a long tounge like a frog.
Hella disturbing picture of Red Mask Ghost.
So there you have it people. Some of the monsters and supernatural beings that exist here in Korea and creep out my students on a regular basis. Feel free to discuss, or leave information about creatures I may have left off this list.
In my collection of books I have a phrase book targeting Koreans who want to learn English. There are some decent expressions in the book for both Koreans learning English, as well as English speakers learning Korean, but it is obvious that the author did not consult a native speaker at all, as there are several mistakes, and countless oddly phrased expressions, anyone familar with English would have noticed immediately. So as a service to 박선화 (the woman who assembled this book), I am going to point out, mock, and subsequently correct some of the more obvious mistake.
Original English: My sister get higher salary than I.
한국어: 제 여동생이 저보다 금료가 높아요.
Comments: For starters there is not subject-verb agreement in this sentence. It should be “gets” as opposed to “get.” Additionally in English to say “I get a salary” doesn’t make sense. “My sister makes more than I do,” or “My sister’s salary is higher than mine,” would be better.
Original English: Would you mind if I just call you a Duck?
한국어: 그냥 당신을 ‘덕 (오리)’ 이라고 불러도 괜찮겠어요?
Comments: The grammar in this sentence is fine, but I have no idea why this sentence is included. Why would you ask someone if you could call them “a Duck?” Sentences are broken down thematically and the other sentences grouped with this are things like “Can you do me a favor?” and “May I ask a favor of you?” So I really have no idea what this is all about.
Original English: He has a good hand in riding.
한국어: 그는 승마를 잘합니다.
Comments: Except for the fact that no one uses the expression, “has a good hand in…” this sentence is fine.
Original English: I’d like to see an affective movie.
한국어: 애장 영화를 보고 싶어요.
Comments: Affective movie? I’m pretty sure the author was going for “an affectionate movie,” which still is wrong. “Romantic movie” or “love Story” would have been better choices.
Original English: What was the movie you saw lately?
한국어: 최근에 본 영화는 무엇입니까?
Comments: The Korean question would have been better translated as “What’s the latest movie you have seen?”
Original English: I’m hungry for hotdog.
한국어: 핫도그 먹고 싶어요.
Comments: The Korean version has nothing to do with hunger, nor should the English version. This is one of those cases where the author is trying to be too complex, keep it simple people! The Korean is “I want to eat a hotdog,” the English should be the same thing.
Original English: Could I burn a cigarette?
한국어: 담배 한 대 태워도 될까요?
Comments: If “I’m hungry for hotdog,” suffered due to the author not being literal enough in the translation this one suffers from being too literal. It seems that the author was simply rocking a dictionary to look up words on this one. ‘태우다’ literally means to burn, in this case a cigarette (담배). The sentence however in English would be “Could I smoke a cigarette?” or “Could I light up?”
And here I chose to put an end to this madness, for now. There are countless more mistakes in that book, and that book is not unique at all. In Korea, there are countless text books, phrase books, and television shows that “teach English,” but many of these educational tools have not consulted any kind of native speakers, or if they did, consulted really ignorant ones.
You like 만화 (manhwa), 漫画 (manga), or comic books? Think you have some pretty obscure titles in your collection? I’m willing to bet you’ve never seen this before.
“Uh Wyatt, I can’t read Korean. What the hell is it?”
Good question Cleatus. That, my inbred friend, is a collection of North Korean comic books. I’m currently working on translating one of them, but knowing me it will never get finished (作心三日 strikes again). So enjoy them in their original form for the time being and if you’re lucky maybe there will be an English version soon.
“Well that’s all well and good, but golly…How can I look at it?”
Again good question Cleatus. If you can’t read Korean, here’s what you do: Click on the cover of whatever book you wish to look at. On the next page click the button next the cover (만화책 보기) and enjoy!
I finally finished reading 三國志 (삼국지 / Romance of the Three Kingdoms). If memory serves me correctly, I began this in the middle of Decemeber, and read it every day on the subway to and from work (roughly two hours each day). It was well worth it though, since I now know about 5 different ways to talk about fleeing from combat in Korean. Additionally I learned an insane ammount of Sino-Korean words, that my girlfriend had no knowledge of.
When I was in college, I majored in East Asian Studies, and as part of said studies, I took several courses on Chinese history. Therefore, prior to reading this book, I knew how it all worked out, but reading this version, I was surprised at how much I ended up hating Cao Cao (조조 / Jojo in Korean). In a purely historic context he was just a guy who came out on top, but as a literary character, he was (to quote my colonial American history teacher, who happened to be a Korean immigrant) “real bastard.”
Anyhow after finishing such a lengthy, complicated, and difficult book (I was often reading my dictionary more than the actual text), I decided that I needed to do the literary equivalent of getting smashed with your buddies on the last day of finals.
Enter 아색기가! For those of you who are long time readers of this webpage, you may remember me discussing a late night television program of the same name. Well this is the comic that the program is based on.
Here in Korea there are things known as “sports newspapers.” Basically there are the “news” version of something like the Korean print version of The Man Show. In addition to giving scores and reports of all the major games, they will report all the latest sex based scandals and always feature pictures of scantily clad female celebrities. Anyhow 아색기가 appears regularly in one of those newspapers, and awhile back I picked up a book of the collected works of it.
So today instead of reading about the attempted unification of China, I read a book in which vibrators were featured in at least 6 installments, unwanted male anal sex was featured in two, jokes about penis size in 3, and a guy drinking milk in two. The reason I mention the milk guy is that I found his adventures to be the most humorous (whoa, I almost wrote humourous there).
Of the two my favorite is the installment in which he opens his fridge and looks at a cartoon of milk, only to discover that in five seconds it will be past the sell by / expiration date. He then proceeds to chug milk for five squares (each which give a time stamp). He succeeds in his venture, and the last square shows him walking in an office with the “I got laid last night” face, and several of his co-workers whispering.
Needless to say, I powered though this book in like 35 minutes, but before I return to more intense works (西遊記 I’m looking in your direction) I’ll probably read some more pointless works…짱구 (aka クレヨンしんちゃん) I’m looking in your general direction.
Today it was back to the office, as my winter holiday came to a close. Today was also the first day of winter school. Winter school, unlike regular school begins at 9:30 am. Since 고양시 is rediculously far away, this means that I have to get up at 7:15 or so in order to shit, shower, and shave, and commute for an hour. It was a little rough going this morning, but in a couple days I will have adjusted to this new arrangement in waking up.
The winter school classes are not part of the regular curriculum, so instead of working with their normal books, the students are reading some fairy tales, tall tales, and fables (stuff like “Three Billy-Goats Gruff,” and “The Magic Cooking Pot.”) It’s a nice change of pace from the nonstop phonics some of my lower level classes are.
Now I’m not one to complain about an early morning, but today in addition to winter school I had to teach my kindergarten class. Due to the fact that the kindergarten students don’t have vacation, their class time did not change. So at 3:00 the kindergarten class began.
Now Korean children, boys in particular, have a facination with all things sexual and excremental. This is something I have come to accept while living and teaching here. That being said, I have one student in my kindergarten class I am sure will end up commiting what in America would be a sex crime.
This child, let’s call him Kevin, is six years old, and is so over the top with inappropriate behavior, it’s rediculous. Like I said, boys are obsessed with their penises here which they so loving refer to as 고추 (gochu [a chili pepper]). I’ve heard boys discussing this their 고추 and if told to knock it off, they do so. Kevin on the other hand will be like, “고추, 고추, 고추, 고추, 고추, 고추!”
Now that’s the kind of kid Kevin is. Today we were reading a book about clothing, body parts, the epic Silly Willy. In said story, the title character is getting dressed, and like all childrens books about dressing, Willy starts off in his underpants. Kevin thought that Willy was a girl and proclaimed loudly, “여자 팬티!” (Girl underwear!), and then proceeded to tell me about putting similar underwear on his head because it smells good. Um…ok buddy.
We carry on, and get to a second book, again about clothing. I figure this one is a safer bet, since it was about outdoor, winter clothing (The Jacket I Wear in the Snow). One of the pictures showed a zipper, which propted Kevin to proclaim, “I have a zipper!” and then unzipper his jeans.
Um…dude, what the fuck. I should have had a 1980’s elementry school teacher’s mustache, or been shaped like the Wonder Year’s dad, for all I had to do was bellow, “Kevin!” and pants were zipped back up. I carried on continuing to read the epic tale, when suddenly Kevin had a handful of Cindy’s ass. I got my bellow on again, and Kevin looked remorseful…that is until there was a picture of the main character from The Jacket I Wear in the Snow in a pair of long underwear prompting Kevin to proclaim, “변태!” (which is Korean for a pervert). I muttered, “Yeah buddy, you are…”
