I somehow think that making lewd comments about large breasts would be inappropriate now.
Yonhap news is reporting that singer, 유니 commited suicide by hanging herself in her room in Incheon around 12:50 in the afternoon on January 21st. She was discovered by her grandmother. She had been living in Incheon with her maternal grandmother, uncle, and mother since wrapping up promotion of her second album last August. The police report states that she had signs of depression.
I was never a fan of her music, but I was a fan of her. 유니 you were the sexiest thing on television here and you will be missed. Especially with Hooters opening up here. Who are those waitresses going to look up to now? God speed 유니!
Robot mother helps South Koreans prepare for birth
SEOUL, Jan 4 (Reuters Life!) - With South Korea’s birth rate at its lowest ever, medical students are resorting to robots to practice bringing babies into the world.
Kyunghee University Medical Center in Seoul is the first institution in South Korea to use Noelle, a life-sized robot, and her “newborn” to give obstetric students experience.
“With this simulator training tool, we can conduct not only normal deliveries, but also complicated deliveries such as breech births, Caesarean deliveries,” Professor Jung Eui told Reuters Television. “Students can practice in a very realistic situation with this mannequin.”
Students regularly crowd around Noelle as she gives “birth.” They take turns at monitoring her vital signs and at pulling the “baby” out of her body.
The newborn, also a robot, is equipped with lights on its hands and cheeks to indicate its health — blue lights mean problems while pink lights signal all is ok.
Students say using Noelle is more useful than sitting in a classroom and taking notes.
“I think it’s more helpful to have delivery training on a life-like mannequin than studying with books or lectures before treating my first live patient,” said student Woon Jin-kwang.
Professor Jung said South Korea’s consistently decreasing birth-rate gave her students fewer chances to watch and practice delivering babies, making Noelle’s presence necessary.
South Korea currently has a population of just over 48 million and one of the lowest birth rates in the world — an average of 1.08 children per woman.
Noelle was purchased for $20,000 from Miami-based Gaumard Scientific Co. Inc. in the United States. She was manufactured in 2000 and over 400 units have been sold in the United States.
While pregnant robot mothers and their robotic offspring are interesting, I think the most important question is the one that this article elected to skate around. Since Reuter’s decided not to ask it, and since Maury Povich isn’t around to ask it, I’m going to ask the question everyone wants to ask: Who’s Noelle’s robot baby-daddy?
We’ve rounded up several bots Noelle may or may not have exchanged data with and have given them paternity tests. The results will becoming up at the end of the show. Noelle, do you have anything you want to say before we get started today?
I just hope we can find my baby’s daddy. It’s really hard being a single robot mother. It’s just so hard…RUN CRYING.EXE…
We’re going to do our best to try and help you find your baby’s daddy. Our first guest is none other than Detroit’s own robotic crime stopper, Robocop! Noelle claims that you stopped her while she was trying to buy some meth and in exchange for a quicky you let her go. Robocop, what do you have to say about these heavy allegations?
THESE ALLEGATIONS ARE UNFOUNDED AS I WAS IN AMERICA AT THE TIME OF CONCEPTION…ALSO I AM FROM THE FUTURE. NOW PLEASE STEP ASIDE THERE IS A ROBBERY IN PROGRESS!
Next up is Giant Robot Kim Jung Il. The case against Giant Robot Kim Jung Il is a little stronger due to geographic and chronological proximity. So let’s welcome, Giant Robot Kim Jung Il. Giant Robot Kim Jung Il, do you have anything to say about this situation?
I will turn this entire studio into a sea of fire. This accusation is merely a ploy by the evil Americans to undermine the will of the North Korean people and the principle of Juche! I will not stand for this!!!
Giant Robot Kim Jung Il seems a little angry at these claims. Let’s bring out the next robot…Jesus woman, how many dudes did you hook up with…oh did I say that aloud? Anyhow, let’s bring out the next robot, Taekwon V! Hey Taekwon, I see you have a posse with you today. What’s going on.
Listen I did hook up with that bitch, but I just got head…you can’t make no baby by gettin’ head. Anyhow it was just that one time and it was just head. Anyway me and my boys were on the road since that time…promoting our new joint out of Def Jam, and I ain’t been with Noelle since that night…and like I said, it was just head. And…
And you can’t make a baby getting head. I know, I know. And bringing out our last guest…Noelle claims that at a party after a night of drinking, and…partying…because that’s what you do at a party…you party, she and my next guest hooked up. Noelle thinks that he might be the father of her child. Please welcome C3-PO! Hi 3-PO. So you’ve heard Noelle’s claims, do you have anything to say for yourself?
I most certainly do. I could not possibly be this robot baby’s father.
And why not?
You see, I’m a robot, but Noelle does nothing for me. Sir, I’m a gay robot!
You’re gay homie?
Good god…just kill me now. This has gone on long enough. Oh yeah…we have some results. Let’s just get this over with. Robocop…you are not the father.
I KNEW THAT.
Giant Robot Kim Jung Il! Not the father!
The Americans can not crush our spirit with this baseless lies!
Taekwon V…not the father!
Yeah boy!
So that just leaves you C3-PO. Did you impregnate Noelle and create this beautiful robot baby, or not. The results say…you are not the father!
Oh thank my maker!
Well Noelle we were unable to find the father of your baby.
There were a couple more robots that I might have spent the night with…
Unless you live in a cave or haven’t been born yet you probably know of North Korea’s claims that it successfully tested a nuclear weapon. I told you on several occassions that I don’t do politics, or current events here (unless it involves sex, animal attacks, pop singers, or some combination of the three), but once again I’m going to break with tradition, and not only talk about current events, but also editorialize. Humorous anecdotes about my life will return shortly.
Dear President Bush & Posse,
Hi, my name is Wyatt. You probably don’t know me, but I have some information that you might find crucial in the days to come. Before you rush into anything like a landed assault on North Korea as a result of their little chemistry experiment, I think you should check out the following video.
Dude did you see that? They strapped cement wheels to their face and got them smashed with sledge hammers. That means their faces are tough enough to withstand both have a cement wheel strapped to it and a sledge hammer blow. And the ninja stars?! Seriously let’s not fuck with these guys. In some ways this video footage scares the shit out of me more than the fact that they have might actually have nukes now. But it’s not my job to tell you how to do your job…I think that’s your job. So let me just leave it at this: Do you really want to have to brawl guys with cement wheels on their faces, and if you do, could you please approve my wife’s visa faster so I can get off this pennisula before you chose to do so?
I sometimes wish that this webpage was more popular, but I have no idea how go about obtaining this higher level of popularity on my own. So I decided to simply blindly follow trends that seem to be working elsewhere and hope they work for me. Quick question that only people interested in the Korean blog scene will be able to answer: What’s the most popular Korea related blog? Probably the Marmot’s Hole. And what do they write about there? Well Korean related news of course. In the world of media what topic is continually the highest seller? Sex of course! So here today, thanks to the good peoples at Reuters and Yahoo News, we have this nice story about Korea, a Sex Expo, and people being denied visas! Like Hungry, Hungry Hippos, it’s fun, fun, fun by the ton, ton, ton!
SEOUL (Reuters) - A South Korean sex trade show promised foreign women in steamy underwear, striptease acts and sex seminars but had to cancel the performances after losing its lingerie models to immigration laws, organizers said on Thursday.
The 2006 Seoul Sex Education Expo, dubbed Sexpo, opened on Thursday, however, with plenty of sex toys, lotions and audiovisual material.
“Immigration officials warned us if the models performed without having obtained the appropriate visa, they could be subject to deportation,” a Sexpo official said.
An immigration official said models from places such as Australia were planning to enter the country on tourist visas, but they needed performance visas.
The event, which runs through Sunday, had been heavily advertised.
Several male visitors were angry about seeing so many inflatable plastic women on display and no real ones.
“I came here for a show and all I have is this leaflet about sex toys. What’s going on here?” said one man in his mid-60s who asked not to be identified.
Sexpo has been held in other parts of Asia but civic groups in South Korea had pressed authorities to close the show on the grounds that it was offensive.
South Korea, however, already has a large and vibrant sex industry.
Wow! A Sexpo! Here in Korea! But there are no models to walk about scantily clad? How about some local girls? Or if they needed white women (since apparently Korean’s think that walking around in one’s underwear is a lot like teaching English, and even the worst white person is clearly more outstanding than a Korean person), why didn’t they simply look at the home shopping channel? Everytime I turn that channel on there are gangs of Russian women modeling underwear. I’m sure some of them would be willing to work at Sexpo doing esentially the same thing. Anyhow this was my attempt at popularity. If it happens to fail I’m going to go back to writing about ketchup ads from the 1970s, and North Korean cartoons (that only look like they were from the 1970s).
So I have a girlfriend which means I don’t have as much time to do things like watch really crappy TV, or look at internet porn, or even read the news. So with that being said, most of you have probably already heard this story. Since there was a shocking piece of video footage to go along with the story, it quickly became important world news. I first heard the story on NHK and were it not for the little 韓国 appearing on the screen I wouldn’t have known that it was a Korean related story at all (since I can’t understand Japanese at all). Anyhow on with the news story!
SEOUL, South Korea — A South Korean subway train started away with a baby in a stroller stuck in its doors on Thursday, and the whole incident was caught on surveillance video.
The video showed the 30-year-old mother wheeling her baby’s stroller into the train.
The doors closed with the mother still standing on the platform when the train started off.
Unable to pull the stroller from the doors, the mother and a bystander were dragged along the subway platform as they held on.
The mother said she grabbed her baby out of the stroller, but her jacket was still stuck between the doors.
After going about 30 yards, the train stopped at the end of the platform.
The baby was not injured, but the mother suffered minor head injuries.
Now I wasn’t there, so I don’t know what happened prior to the woman attempting to enter the subway car, but I can say that I’m not surprised at all that this happened. In fact what is surprising is that it doesn’t happen more often. I can not count the number of times I have seen people (including women with strollers) attempt to board subway trains while the doors are closing. Now I too have boarded the subway in a fashion akin to Indiana Jones grabbing his hat from under that stone door in Temple of Doom, but there is a big difference between me and these women, that being I don’t have a helpless child with me.
But Korea is a nation that is hell-bent on doing things quickly. I can’t count how often I hear “빨리! 빨리! (Quickly! Quickly!)” bellowed on any given day. Koreans want to get there faster and finish quicker, regardless of what the task is. This is the reason bus drivers drive like they are the only people on the road, paying no mind to the carnage they leave in their wake. This is why delivery men haul ass on sidewalks attempting to avoid traffic jams. This is why a previous girlfriend who shall not be named, would call a pizza place if they hadn’t delivered to our house 15 minutes after we ordered. And this is why my students will rush to finish their classwork.
I can’t really understand this need to rush through life that seems to dominate all areas of life here. My students, for example, rush to finish their work. If their writing is illegible, or there are countless spelling or grammatical mistakes I will erase what they had written and make them do it again. The end result? They usually end up being the last ones to finish…though had the taken the time to do it well the first time they would have finished when everyone else did instead of 5 minutes later because they needed to be the first to yell, “I’m finished!”
Anyhow back to the news story at hand, I’m glad the woman and child weren’t seriously injured, but I hope that she and the population at large learn to slow down with somethings.
This JoongAng Daily human interest piece gives up a look into the over the top zany comedy stylings of one North Korean tour guide, a Mr. Jang. I think he might even be funnier than Carrot Top, which isn’t really saying much. Take it away JoongAng Daily!
Jovial guide, new face of ‘the North’
October 17, 2005 ㅡ According to South Korean tourists who recently visited Pyongyang for the annual Arirang Festival, Jang Chol-gun, a 31-year-old tour guide, has become almost as famous as the tour itself.
Mr. Jang’s funny comments and comical expressions have won him quite a reputation.
Give Mr. Jang a camera and rather than say “cheese!” or “kimchi!” he will say “Ban-mi!” which means “Anti-U.S.!” This is trendy among youngsters in Pyongyang these days, he explained in a joking manner.
If a tourist mentions something about “North Korea,” he protests, saying they should just say “the North,” which sounds more friendly.
Passing around milk candies, he said, “These candies are made from cow’s milk, but the pronunciation is very similar to a woman’s breast, so you must be very careful when speaking in front of a woman.”
Compared to the stiff tour guides of the past, Mr. Jang perhaps represents a new generation. Born in Pyongyang, Mr. Jang studied computer engineering in college. After serving in the military he worked at the Pyongyang city government office before suddenly being recruited as a tour guide for South Korean tourists, whose numbers increased unexpectedly. Until this year, South Koreans were barred from attending the Arirang Festival, a mass gymnastics and dance spectacle.
Mr. Jang, however, is not a privileged Pyongyang “brat.” If the subject of the northern leader Kim Jong-il is brought up, he suddenly becomes serious, and if tourists are caught taking pictures in places where they aren’t supposed to, he makes sure those photos are deleted.
He confided that he received 3,000 won ($20) a month and had an unsuccessful love live. He once had a girlfriend, but they broke up because her parents disapproved. He had many unsuccessful arranged dates since then.
Seeing tourists off at the airport, the eccentric yet good-natured tour-guide invited them to come back. “In ten years, I’ll be able to give Pyongyang tours in my own car,” he said.
Typo (JoongAng Daily reporter that should be “an unsuccessful love life” not “love live”), and unsuccessful love life aside Mr. Jang does seem to be quite the riotous fellow. I mean “Ban-mi*?!” I was drinking some coffee when I first read that and it shot out of my nose when I got to that passage. To make matters worse I nearly pissed my slacks while in the throws of side splitting laughter that followed my discover that in North Korea they bellow, “Ban-mi!” while taking pictures.
Oh wait, that’s not really that funny is it? As an American I should probably be offended shouldn’t I? Ah what the hell…next time I get my picture taken I’m yelling “Ban-mi!”
* Ban-mi would be written in 한글 as 반미 or in 漢字 as 反美 in the strange event that anyone (asides from me) cares about such things.
Each morning I read the newspaper and this morning I came this most outstanding editorial. As someone has recieved more than my fair share of motorcycle enemas, I for one am totally on the same page as this guy.
[A READER’S VIEW]A closer look in the Korean mirror
I was born and lived in Seoul until the age of 28. Like all Korean males I dutifully performed military service. After graduating from university I lived overseas in various countries doing various jobs. I am now 32, living in Seoul again, and am married with two lovely children. I mention all of this because, with the exception of having spent almost four years overseas, I am exactly like you: an average Korean, who works an average job, is devoted to his family and loves his country.
I said that I love Korea. And because of this I want to shout out and warn all of us to give this country the wake-up call it so desperately needs. Aside from pockets of wealth throughout the city and country, as a whole we are still living in the mid-twentieth century. In comparison to other first world countries - which we like to believe ourselves on par with - we are years, if not decades behind. We have the financial means to keep pace with the planet’s heavy rollers, but that is where the proverbial buck stops.
Why are we sharing sidewalks with motorcycles and scooters? Our Seoul government office has just spent billions revitalizing a river and recently hosted a global mayor’s conference. I was there. And I felt anything but pride. It was embarrassing having mayors (and their representatives) from Rome and Tokyo sidestepping scooters and breathing in their fumes as they walked along city-center sidewalks. This doesn’t happen in other large first world metropolitan centers. A motorcycle zipping along the sidewalks of Chicago? A scooter blowing on its horn for pedestrians to clear the way in London? Never!!
And that is just the beginning. I live next to a traditional style Korean market, and I walk through it daily as I commute to work. I am amazed at how vehicles are allowed to pass freely down these narrow paths. It creates a dirty mesh of chaos amongst those shopping and walking. But more drastically, with the inherent congestion, these vehicles are allowed to idle endlessly, allowing their toxic exhaust to pour over the fresh produce which we feed our children. And this is not even to mention the insects and flies allowed to crawl on the raw meat for sale (shaded by only an umbrella), or the men and women spitting up phlegm next to the onions and cabbages that my four-year-old daughter has to eat. Frankly, it is disgusting. I feel as though I am walking home back to my cave in these instances - not my fancy high-rise apartment.
My favorite, however, and one that makes me wonder who is running things in this city - and brings me to tears every time - is the mosquito repellent pumping out of the back of makeshift three-wheelers. Again our kids breathe these toxins in as parents allow them to chase these toxic fumes on their bicycles.
This is absolutely archaic. No other first-world country in the world allows these things to happen. Aside from an architecturally blase stream of apartment buildings rising from the ground, Seoul at street level more closely resembles Calcutta or Shanghai - and even then a Shanghai of five years past. As Koreans we have been entirely blinded by our quick rise to financial wealth. Sure Koreans can build top-rate mobile phone products and a great flat-screen television. Sure we are connected to the internet at a higher percentage than any other country. But is this really how we want to be seen - as a group of technological nerds that has no concern about the day to day well-being of citizens and neighbors?
You may wonder why I am writing this in English. I have done so in an effort to show foreigners who live or travel here - those that send messages about Korea back to their home countries - that self-awareness is on the horizon. Korea may be starting to wake up to the 21st century in a manner that is not just digitally and financially induced (though sadly there is hardly any evidence pointing to this at present).
As Seoulites, and as Koreans in general, we must recognize and acknowledge the global community that now lives amongst us, and recognize that money and technology are not the only keys that open the door to the international community. Even China is already taking steps in this direction, having recently banned spitting in public and queue jumping. In order to build a better place for everyone to live in, in order to attract foreign investment and make Korea desirable, we not only have to wave the merits of the Korean flag, but we also need to acknowledge our faults and correct them. As a community working together we can build a country that really is up to date in every manner - and not just an archaic throwback to third world levels with fancy mobile phones on our hips and the occasional thick wallet.
By Park Kyong-don
2005.10.14
Park Kyong-don is a systems engineer living in Seoul. - Ed.
As anyone with any knowledge of profession women’s golf knows, there are quite a few female South Korean golfers that are dominating the scene. One Kim Jeong-kyoo over at the trusty Korea Times offers up this well researched, scientific report detailing exactly why there are so many South Korean golfers running rough shod over the LPGA.
By Kim Jeong-kyoo
Korea Times Golf Columnist
LPGA.com, the official website of the U.S. Ladies Professional Golf Assoc. showed as of Sept. 18 that 10 South Korean lady golfers ranked in the top 30 of its official money list, indicating that South Korea is one of the golf powerhouses of the world.
Those posted on the top 30 LPGA money list are Jang Jeong, ranked 5th with earnings of $950,647; Lee Mee-na, 7th with $749,247; Gloria Park, 9th with $685,250; Birdie Kim, 10th with $663,914; Han Hee-won, 19th with $495,039; Kang Soo-yun, 21st with $457,941; Christina Kim, 25th with $421,060; Kim Mi-hyun, 26th with $415,527 and Kim Young, 28th with $379,889.
Some other brilliant players that should also be mentioned are Kang Ji-min, Grace Park, Yim Sung-ah, Kim Joo-mi and Ahn Shi-hyun.
Ahn, earning the title of 2004 Louise Suggs Rolex Rookie of the Year, became the LPGA’s fourth Rolex Rookie of the Year from South Korea, following Pak Se-ri, the first Korean who won the award in 1998, Kim Mi-hyun who wrapped it up in a row the next year and Han Hee-won who took the title in 2001.
Pak Se-ri, at the moment suffering from a long slump, once stormed onto the LPGA scene by winning 22 career victories including the U.S. Women’s Open in 1998. She was the heroine who paved the way for South Korean golfers to advance into the U.S. LPGA Tour.
Without her providing motivation and establishing a firm foothold for her compatriot golfers who followed suit, it would be impossible to see the South Korean lady golfers who are now dominating the U.S. LPGA Tour.
What enables South Korean lady golfers to be so formidable in the U.S. LPGA Tour? It is nothing less than the Koreans’ talent to make things skillfully with their hands, a trait handed down from generation to generation for thousands years.
Celadon in Koryo and the Yi dynasty are world famous for blue and white china in quality, and you know that pottery involves the same skills as playing golf.
Not to change the subject, South Koreans’ special talent to make things skillfully with their hands is also believed to greatly contribute to their making almost a clean sweep of the World Skills Competition.
By the same token, Koreans are good at various sports that are played chiefly with the hands: handball, archery and table tennis, to name a few.
Professor Hwang Woo-suk of the Seoul National University who led the first cloning of embryonic human stem cells told in a public lecture that one of his assistants surprised the stem cell big shots of the world with his skills, which were beyond their imagination but actually nothing for Koreans.
Professor Hwang, referring to the use of chopsticks, mentioned that the Koreans’ skill with their hands contributed to their success in cloning embryonic human stem cells.
An editor golf fan of an English daily newspaper mentioned that one of the root causes for Korean ladies to play such great golf in the U.S. is closely connected to dexterity, which is also critical to preparing delicious Kimchi, a Korean side dish loved by the people around the world.
We all know that even when you use the same materials for Kimchi, it tastes different depending upon the hands that mix the materials.
This is why a so-called hand-taste or rather a typical taste created by the hands is heard frequently in Korea when it comes to preparing foods.
Japanese, who also use chopsticks like Koreans, once produced a golf great named Ayako Okamoto, who became a member of the LPGA Tour in 1981 and won 17 events between 1982 and 1992. She was recorded as the first woman from outside the U.S. to top the LPGA tour’s money list in 1987.
Among Japanese golfers playing in the PGA of America is Shigeki Maruyama, who is often compared to South Korean golfer Kyung-ju Choi.
Despite this, the Japanese do not surpass Koreans in the golf world possibly because they do not attach as much importance to the hands in preparing foods. They use sashimi knife in preparing raw fish, their all-time favorite, instead of directly using hands as Koreans do.
Similarly, the Chinese do not distinguish themselves as much as Koreans in the LPGA tour of America because they do not stress the role of hands in making foods. Their food culture features fire. Mostly they use fire to create taste instead of using their hands.
Among Chinese golfers, Hong Mei Yang became the first Chinese player to win a tournament in the United States in April 2004 by capturing the IOS Futures Golf Classic in El Paso, Texas, the developmental circuit for the LPGA Tour.
Of course, there are some other factors that make all the great achievements possible including tenacity and indomitability, two characteristics of Koreans, along with quite a lot of synergy among the South Korean golfers. But without the dexterity unique to Koreans their great success would be hard to imagine.
Wait! Did I say well researched and scientific? What I wanted to say was complete ethno-centric bullshit. For starters, let me say I’m not much of a golfer, but in the golfing I have done, manual dexterity played no role what so ever. The idea that the use of metal chopsticks foster manual dexterity is sketchy to begin with, but it’s not even a skill needed to play golf.
Additionally I don’t see what using one’s hands (to prepare kimchi) has to do with golf. Last time I played golf you didn’t use your hands to hit the ball, you used a golf club, so I don’t see why the Japanese (who according to Kim uses knives to prepare their food) would be at any disadvantage.
If I were any of the golfer mentioned in this article I would have been offended by the way the author downplays the hard work and dedication these women have put into perfect their craft as a means to make a particular ethnic group look good. So let’s ignore everything after the six paragraph in the article, give mad props to these ladies for kicking ass on the links, and get back to things that are really important…namely the fact that Kang Soo-yeon (강수연) is friggin’ hot!
Look at this picture. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Racist? Definately. Crude? I’ll give you that. Outdated? That’s right. World War 2 was a different time. Gone are the days of protraying enemies in the crudest possible stereotypes. There are not political cartoons in the west featuring Muslims buttfucking camels or bradishing scimitars while buttfucking camels. But not so fast! Take a gander at this!
WTF? Is that a CGI “Jap?” Why yes it is! I recently came across this animated spot, the latest in the one sided battle for 독도 (Dokdo). The spot starts off with a fleet of Japanese invaders led by some ethnic stereotypes. Their fleet is made up of warships from the 1600s and World War 2 era fighter planes.
The fleet gets a tad too close to Dokdo and someone hits the “red button.” These crude stereotypes start quaking in their sumo loinclothes, fearing what is about to come. What is it? Nukes? The mighty Yi Sun-shin?
FUCK! It’s Taekwon V! Korea’s blantant ripoff of the Japanese giant robot Manzinger Z (right down to pointless use of a Roman letter) arises from between the two rocks that make up Dokdo ready to kick some fuckin’ Japanese ass. And kick ass he does! Taekwon V is able to ravage the entire Japanese fleet with a single spin hook kick.
And if that isn’t enough some seagulls take a shit on the Japanese leader’s face. That will teach ‘em to have provincial minority parties make claims over some rocks! Having saved the day again, Taekwon V rips Dokdo from the sea and hold them aloft (like He-man and his magic sword…only infinately more juvenille), proclaim that “Today, too, Dokdo is the ideal.”
Anyhow, Korea(ns) I don’t dispute your claims over 독도, but if you want anyone to take you seriously and listening to you, you’ve gotta start going about things with a little more class, a little more diplomacy, and a lot less racism.
I kind of feel like an ass, but for some reason this story strikes me as funny. Maybe it has something to do with the conditions of the zoo and the irony of the elephants revolting, or maybe it’s just that the misfortunes of others are always good for a laugh. Anyhow enjoy!
“Dude, we ordered 돼지고기 (pork), not 코끼리고기 (elephant meat)!”
Forget Bull in a China Shop, Try Elephant in Diner!
SEOUL (Reuters) - Six elephants escaped from a zoo and roamed around the South Korean capital Wednesday, briefly crashing their way into a restaurant before being rounded up, police and zoo officials said.
The elephants were on a parade led by mahouts outside their enclosure inside Seoul Children’s Grand Park in the east of the city when one was apparently startled and bolted, a zoo official said by telephone.
The five others followed “because they have the tendency to do that,” the official said.
While the elephants were being led back to the zoo, three of them escaped again and crashed through a plate-glass window into a restaurant, sending terrified staff fleeing.
Crowds looked on as mahouts in blue hats ran after the elephants.
Amid the confusion, a man was also injured and needed hospital treatment after encountering another elephant on a side-street.
Firefighters and zoo keepers, helped by police, cajoled five of the elephants back into the zoo. A police officer said a sixth was at a police station and would be sent back to the zoo soon.
I think my favorite part of this whole fiasco is the fact that police only returned five of the elephants to the zoo and the sixth is at the police station. What the hell? Is that sixth elephant being detained for questioning? Was he taken in on unrelated charges? I’m curious as to why the sixth elephant is not being released for the holding cell at the police station to the…um holding cell at the zoo.
This morning I woke up, turned on the television and was greeted with this horrifying visage:
“What the crap is that?” you ask. Well apparently some fish here in Korea was born with markings that resemble a human face. The only English version of the story I could find was some local news station out of Florida. Take it away Local 6!
Fish Discovered With Human Face Pattern
A fish that has a pattern resembling a human face on its body was found in a pond in Chongju, South Korea, according to a Local 6 News report.
The news of a fish with a human face spread to South Korea through the Internet after a Japanese sports tabloid reported on the unusual fish.
A South Korean newspaper then carried an article about the fish in South Korea.
The fish is the result of artificial insemination between a carp and ayu sweetfish.
As the fish grew larger, the design on the fish reportedly changed to look more like the face of a human being.
Rare markings on a fish are considered a good omen in some Asian countries, according to a report.
Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
I like this fish mainly due to the fact that it looks like my old high school pricipal, Dr. James O. Jackson. He was a man that most students (and parents for that matter) refered to as “The Catfish.”
Additionally any creature that resembles Admiral Akbar can’t be a bad thing now can it?
As 2004 comes to a close, a lot of newspapers, programs, human, websites, ect. are begining to look back at the year that was. The good folks at The Chosun Ilbo bring us this allegedly scientific analysis of the top Korean products of 2004.
Cyworld.com was named the hit product of the year by Samsung Economic Research Institute (SERI). Cyworld, a personal Internet homepage service provider, created new terms such as “cyholic,” and has acquired over 10 million registered users within its first three years.
Multi-purpose mobile phones with multiple functions like digital cameras, MP3 players, blood sugar testers, mosquito repellent and urgent message senders were ranked second.
Kwangdong Pharmaceutical Co.’s health drink “Vita 500,” which has been recording 100 percent annual sales growth since it was launched in February 2001, came in third. Fourth place went to the stars of the Korean wave, including “Yonsama” Bae Yong-joon, and fifth place went to large-capacity MP3 players, which have assumed a leading role in mobile audio entertainment.
Cosmetics at knockdown prices manufactured by brands such as “Missha” and “The Face Shop” were at sixth, and a soap opera, “Lovers in Paris,” which enjoyed enormous popularity with viewer ratings over 50 percent, came in seventh. Eighth place was the “Magic Thousand-Character Chinese Classic,” an educational comic book for children. Korea Housing Finance Corporation’s long-term loan program for buying houses came in ninth, and hot and spicy foods like “Peppered fire chicken” (Korean: hongcho buldalk) came in tenth.
The results of an online poll of SERI Internet members and the opinions of outside experts were reflected on the ranking.
(Choi Hong-seop, hschoi@chosun.com )
My favorite “product” in that list would have have to be your buddy and mine, ヨン様(Yonsama). How can a person be a product you ask? Yonsama is big business. The ammount of Japanese tourists he pulls in and the sheer number of products which feature his likeness are insane. So yes, he is a product.
There’s a new Korean drama on the airwaves entitled “Love Story in Harvard” (러브스토리 인 하버드)! I may not have explained how little I care for the majority of Korean dramas. The acting is more often than not god awful, they are way too melodramatic (it’s not a Korean drama if no one dies), people are far too whiney in them, and guys smack girls around in them (which inspite of the fact that the girls getting smacked are extremely annoying, just rubs be the wrong way). Anyhow this new offering from SBS hits new levels of awfulness. The story which takes place in California…I mean Harvard tells the story of an exchange student who falls for a Korean American…neither of whom can speak English to save their lives. So that’s two additionally reasons I dislike this show. There are enough Korean actors who can speak English well, why not use them instead of the buffoons they have. So needless to say I was not a huge fan of this show, until this news story broke.
The article is in Korean, so I’ll give you a brief summary of what’s going on there. In a recent episode, the main actress, Jung Sol-hee (정솔희), may or may not have inadventantly (or deliberately) shown a little too much of her area in a recent episode. The article provided above says that her pubic hair was exposed, while our good friends over at The Chosun Ilbo claim her vulva was visible.
Here is the picture of the scene in question. Take a gander and judge for yourself, pubes, vulva, or shadow…what’s your take?
Anything that distracted from the broken English, and lack of coherent plot…
This is just insane. Apparently some dude (American) faked all sorts of credentials and scored some university job here in Korea. He probably would have never gotten caught if not for the fact that he got too big for his britches and got greedy. Check out the full report courtesy of The Chosun Ilbo.
A high school graduate from the United States, who found employment at a certain private university in Korea after faking a master’s degree and doctorate from a famous U.S. university, now finds himself in police custody.
◆ Degree forged, “open” employment
Seoul Metropolitan Police arrested on Monday a 34-year-old Mr. M, a graduate of an art high school in New York, for taking employment at a private university in Seoul after faking a master’s and doctorate degree from a U.S. university. M received a salary and research fees from the school.
According to police, M met a Korean woman while he was working at a hotel in New York and came to Korea last November. Last April, he asked a broker in Thailand to falsify a master’s degree from New York’s Columbia University, after which he found employment as an English teacher at a university in Seoul. He worked as an instructor until last February and received W24 million per year.
Later, M counterfeited a doctorate degree in a similar way. He falsified a doctorate degree from Central Michigan University and applied for an assistant professor position at the same university. He was hired, and received a total of W68 million from the university, including W44 million in salary and research funds.
◆ Fabricated thesis, even smoked pot
Police investigation revealed that M, putting the school’s policy of granting money to professors who public theses in famous academic journals to ill use, received research grants for theses he carefully stole from other scholars.
After he became an assistant professor, he opened a website with a domain name similar to that of a famous academic journal, on which he registered edited versions of others’ academic theses under his own name. He did this three times, receiving W15 million in research fees.
He also took wild hemp and planted it in flowerpots in his on-campus professor apartment, regularly smoking marijuana.
As this shows that the strict screenings given to Koreans applying for professorial openings are not being properly applied to foreign candidates, there are those calling for university hiring standards to be fairly and strictly supplemented.
(englishnews@chosun.com )
I had a conversation with my friend from university recently. He does the same type of job, only in Japan. He commented how a lot of the other foreigners in Japan are total geeks who are obsessed with all things Japanese, he asked me if this was the case in Korea. I told him that it was not really the case. There were some people who came here to learn Korean while teaching, or to pay off debts, but there were also a lot of the foreigners were just misfits who couldn’t function in their home countries. Apparently I wasn’t that far off the mark in my declararion.
The one problem I have is that the guy is American…I mean the GIs and our president do a good enough job of causing the Korean people to dislike Americans, do we really need this crap as well.
And now for something that could only happen in Korea…
SEOUL, (AFP) - Three South Korean dog meat lovers were facing a 70,000-dollar lawsuit after cooking and eating their employer’s pedigree dog, a news report said.
Two Jindo puppies. Three South Korean dog meat lovers were facing a 70,000-dollar lawsuit after cooking and eating their employer’s pedigree dog(AFP/File)
The men, all in their 50s and employed at a car-hire firm, killed and served up the dog in a traditional Korean soup dish during the employer’s absence from the company parking lot where the animal was tethered, Yonhap news agency reported.
The owner said he would sue the three, claiming the dog was a Jindo, an expensive Korean pedigree breed, the news agency said. Police were also investigating the case.
Dog soup, or Boshintang, is a Korean delicacy served over the summer season.
Though I personally have not consumed dog meat, I see nothing wrong with it. There’s no difference between eating meat from a dog raised to be food, and eating beef from a cow raise to be food. Yes people in the western world keep dogs as pets, so most people will be disgusted by the fact that these guys consumed dog. Well Hindus hold cows to be sacred but that doesn’t stop us in the west from consuming beef. Different strokes for different folks. What I have a problem with is the way in which these assclowns obtained their meat. Like I said to eat dog meat raised to be consumed is one thing, but to steal a pet is another matter entirely. Not only did these buffoons cause the dogs owners the pain of losing family members, but because this made it into international news, these three morons helped to perpetuate the myth that all Koreans eat dogs (most don’t), and in order to satiate this need they will steal peoples pets and kill them. Good job guys! Your country doesn’t have a bad enough reputation yet?
I’m leaving for Hong Kong in less than 24 hours, so this wil be the last update on this page for awhile. I leave you with this frightening report out of Pyongyang.
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA-Responding to mounting pressure and increasingly confrontational rhetoric from the outside world, North Korean president Kim Jong Il unfolded into a 70-foot-tall, 62-ton giant robot Monday.
Above: Kim Jong Il marches through the streets of Pyongyang.
“The DPRK’s nuclear program is very much its own business, as is its right to determine its own path of security,” said Kim, his torso splitting along ventral seams as clusters of Taepo-Dong ICBMs rose from his shoulders. “Any attempt by Washington to decide our fate will surely result in a sea of fire being unleashed upon them.”
As his arms and legs sheathed themselves in bulletproof Mecha-Muscle telescoping outward from his chest, Kim reiterated his refusal to bow to international demands.
“Constant criticism from outside indicates mistrust of our promise to refrain from missile tests,” said Kim, speaking over the mechanical shriek of wingblades sprouting from his back. “Only trust from the U.S. that we will keep our word can prevent World War III.”
“The imperialist West is holding my country to standards which it does not see fit to meet itself,” continued Kim, his voice now a metallic, digitized boom emanating from somewhere within the titanium helmet sheathing his head. “This does not surprise me, as they are well-famed for their lies.”
“Pyongyang Dynamo Power Punch!” added Kim, as he released his fist-modules skyward with twin robotic uppercuts.
While the Bush Administration remains publicly confident that a diplomatic solution can be reached, top officials admit that the situation has become more complicated.
Above: A South Korean border soldier eyes Kim Jong Il in the Demilitarized Zone.
“If we add Kim Jong Il’s transformation into a giant robot to his already defiant isolationist stance and his country’s known nuclear capability, the diplomatic terrain definitely becomes more rocky,” U.S. envoy James Kelly said. “Kim has made it clear that, if sufficiently threatened, he will not hesitate to use nuclear weapons or his arm-mounted HyperBazooka.”
Added Kelly: “We are also forced to consider the possibility that Kim may attempt to robo-meld with other members of the Axis of Evil, forming a MegaMecha-Optima-Robosoldier. Kim would make a powerful right arm-or even a torso-for such a mechanism.”
During a visit Monday to the Demilitarized Zone dividing the Korean peninsula, Kim stressed that his transformation was not an act of aggression, but rather an attempt to defend his nation’s autonomy.
“The DPRK must not be subject to the whims of an international coalition with no regard for the welfare of the Korean people,” said Kim before stomping the ground with his foot, unleashing a devastating ring of energy that vaporized nearby reporters and military vehicles. “Catastrophic Valiant Kim-Chee Earthquake Stomp-Kick!”
I hook you kids up with some the complete Hong Kong report upon my return. Later fellas.
Well this weekend, all the old ladies wanted to talk to me. First off, on Saturday night, U-rim and I were waiting for the subway, when some old lady gave us the once over. She then asked U-rim if I was her boyfriend. U-rim said that I was, and I prepared myself for the “look out for foreigners, tsk tsk tsk…” speech that I was sure this old lady was going to give. Instead, she was like, “Great! Korean men suck!” (that’s a direct quote translate into English). She was all about U-rim dating me, and was surprised that I understood Korean. It was kind of odd, and she talked way too much, but I think she was just lonely since she said most of her family lived in Washington.
In a random Korea based new nugget, some GI’s stabbed a Korean guy in the throat in my neighborhood.
Drunk US Soldier Stabs Korean
By Kim Rahn
Staff Reporter
A drunk U.S. soldier stabbed a South Korean man while making a disturbance on a Seoul street early Saturday morning, according to police.
Police said they arrested five U.S. soldiers, including a private first class identified as Christopher, and one Korean soldier working at a U.S. camp in Pyongtaek, Kyonggi Province, for the violent episode on a street in Sinchon, Seoul, at around 2 a.m. Christopher is suspected of stabbing the Korean resident.
The five were transferred to the custody of U.S. military police. Korean police sent a summons for Christopher to the U.S. military police, and he is scheduled to appear at the police station on Thursday with representatives of the U.S. government.
The victim, identified as Park, 27, was trying to stop the soldiers from making a disturbance. He was taken to a nearby hospital for medical treatment and is in a serious condition.
The six soldiers obstructed traffic by lying on the street and taking pictures on a taxi, according to police. Park sought to stop them out of anger at their behavior, but Christopher allegedly threatened Park with a knife. He stabbed Park in the throat and ran away with the others.
The soldiers were caught by members of the public and taken into police custody. They denied their charges.
The Eighth U.S. Army expressed its regret and said it will thoroughly investigate the case.
Here is a link to a news video about the incident. It’s in Korean, so chances are you can’t understand what’s said, but look at these fuckers. Anyhow now, it’s probably going to suck for all of us white people, regardless of what we do, or where we are from, since the average Korean makes no distinction between military and non-militatry, or (to be fair to those few military personale who are decent) the assholes and the decent peoples.
미군새끼들!
