On the third day of our trip to Jeju, I once again awoke at the asscrack of dawn. We showered, had a cup of coffee and watched some television while we waited for the tour bus to come and pick us up at our hotel. The television was slightly disappointing. Unlike America where a trip across state lines means exposure to some random regional television (commercials and local news stations in particular), a trip to different regions in Korea doesn’t really effect what one sees on television. TV is Jeju was exactly the same as TV in Busan which was exactly the same as TV in Seoul. It’s makes for bland domestic travel, but I seriously digress.
Around 8:30 in the morning, the bus picked us up and we headed off to adventure. The first stop was 용두암 (龍頭岩), which if the 漢字 were to be believed was a large rock shaped like a dragon’s head. As the bus roared along, Jinhui and I partook in some Jeju Milk, which in terms of taste was on par with Seoul Milk (and much better than Busan Milk).
While television might not be that different from place to place, brands of milk (to some extent), and the brands of soju avalible vary a great deal. The 진로 brand seems to be a brand avaliable from coast to coast, but each province seems to have it’s own local brand. In Seoul (and Gyeonggi province) we have 山소주. Busan has C1. In Jeonju I saw Hite brand soju, and in Jeju I saw 한라소주 (and some lower alcohol version which was in a clear bottle). Again I really went off on a tangent here. Back to the awesomeness at hand.
The bus picked up some other travelers and after a short ride we were at 용두암. I quickly learned that either people of yore had much better imaginations than I do, or the effects of weathering had taken their toll on the rock, because I could not for the life of me see a dragon’s head. Anyhow we saw a rock and then we were wisked off to a gift shop for an hour of shopping. At about this time I started to loathe the tour group. I didn’t know why we needed an hour of shopping in one store that had all the same stuff we’d seen everywhere else only like 20% more expensive.
So I was loathing the tour group, but my loathing ceased when we were taken to Elephant Land to see an elephant show. In my youth I had bore witness to an elephant show at the Catskill Game Farm (RIP homie) that featured twirling elephants. As these elephants twirled, they shat, and as they shat all the people in the first few rows screamed in terror. This event was so etched into the minds of my family and myself that it is still brought up in conversation to this day. That’s how awesome it was (we were not in the front row so it truly was awesome)! Anyhow this show was awesome too, though it did not feature a single shitting elephant. What it did feature were a bunch of elephants doing decidedly non-elephant like junk. They painted. They went bowling. They stood upon the asses of the audience members. They came into the audience to get bananas and cash…kind of like tusked strippers at a gentlemen’s club. And then there was the basketball game!
The b-ball game featured elephants slam dunkin’ the rock, drainin’ 3s, and (insert another early 90s basketball related slogan that probably appeared in the game NBA Jams here). So the elephants were basically being Jimmy Jump when suddenly one of the elephants went down to the ground. The music stopped and the announcer started talking to the boss of Elephant Land.
“What the shit’s going on here?” I thought to myself, “Is this for real?”
After all that, we got our pictures taken with elephants, but that was not the end of our dealings with dirty animals…not by a long shot!
I read of a Korean saying that translated to something like, “If you have a son send him to Seoul. If you have a horse, send it to Jeju.” I don’t really know what that means, but a lot of dudes must have bought into the line since there were tons of horses in Jeju…and following the elephant show we were going to a dude ranch to ride some!
After a brief bus ride we were at the ranch, but we couldn’t just jump on some horses and start playing cowboys or Saratoga Race Course. No, first we had to but on some rediculous gear. The gear in question consisted of a hat that was more a Crocodile Dundee hat than a cowboy hat, a red vest, and some boots that looked a lot like the boots I had to wear during my wedding ceremony. Once geared up, it was time to ride.
I have some horseback riding experience from my teenage years, and the thing that stuck with me all this time was that horseback riding hurts one’s nuts. This second trip confirmed this preconcieved notion. That being said, aside from the painful nuts, horseback riding was really fun…oh except for when the horse Jinhui was riding decided that it would be totally awesome to have gas and then take a shit while my horse was right behind it. But other than that it was fun.
And then we had some lunch. Lunch was all you could eat 흑돼지 or black pig (aka “shit pig”) and 막걸리 (makkoli…a type of liquor). AWESOME!!! Free booze is always a plus. As for the 흑돼지 it didn’t taste all that different from regular pork. Though it did look like it could use a shave. Seriously that meat had a five o’clock shadow!
Following lunch we went to a cave. I had not been inside a cave or cavern or any manner of underground rock formation since my fourth grade class went on a field trip to Howe Caverns. This cave was about as intense as that (read as not very intense, but fairly awesome). Unlike Howe Caverns, this cave did not have any stalactites or stalagmites. Nor were there any bats. There was a Buddha statue. It was pretty okay. Also there was a park located around the cave that had cacti and palm trees. We took some pictures.
Then we went to a cliff where there was a lighthouse, a set from the television drama All In, the sea, and some seemingly ownerless horses. After some photos here and a quick stop at a seaside seafood restaurant it was back to the airport and farewell to Jeju.
The trip home was uneventful save for the fact that at security I got stopped and asked if I had a knife in my bag. I told them I didn’t and was asked to open a pocket in my bag where I was surprised to find that I did indeed have a knife in my bag. The knife, which had apparently been left in the bag the last time he went mountain climbing, had been in my bag the entire trip unknown to anyone (apparently including the security personel at Kimpo Airport). Anyhow the knife wasn’t a big issue. They took it away from me and I apologized and we continued on. The corkscrew in my wife’s bag was apparently less of a security threat than a knife with a three inch blade and was allowed through the baggage check without incident.
Otherwise the trip home was uneventful. We waited around for an hour or so before we got on the plane and went home. Oh wait! I forgot about the guy that was staggering drunk before boarding the plane. When he got on, I heard one of the stewardesses phone someone to alert then that “a seriously drunk man just got on,” and to “be advised.” Aside from reeking of booze as I walked past him the drunk guy caused no problems that I could see.
So an hour after take off we were back in Seoul, and then it was another hour before we were back home and in bed. In conclusion if you want to see pictures of day three of my trip to Jeju (complete with some captions), the check this link out. If you do not wish to see pictures than have a nice day, we’ll see you next time!
On the first full day in Jeju, I awoke at the crack of dawn…before even the alarm clock set for way too early in the morning was supposed to go off. I don’t know about all of you in TV land, but this is a normal thing for me both when traveling and on the eve of my travels. Once awake I got a shower going on and then prepared an outstanding breakfast of leftover Italian food and cup ramen…oh and coffee too, but actually Jinhui made the coffee, not me, and I guess technically I didn’t make the pizza either since I just heated it up, but I did so without an oven or microwave oven for that matter so that’s gotta count for something.
Moving on, starting on this day Jinhui and I were going to be traveling as part of a tour group. So at early o’clock in the morning the tour bus came to our hotel and picked us up. From this point on the entire trip became a lot like the Magical Mystery Tour, only I was the walrus and there were a lot more newlyweds. Once all these couples had been picked up we headed off on our adventure.
The first stop of the day was 신비의도로 (The Road of Mystery) or as my wife and countless other people on the tour referred to it, 도깨비도로 (Goblin Road). Technically we didn’t really even stop. The gimmick of this site is that it’s a hill that things roll up as opposed to down. So the bus driver turned off the engine, but the bus in neutral and we rolled up a hill. It was kind of weird, but not as awesome as if there had been actual goblins about. At the end of the Road of Mystery, the bus door opened and some middle aged lady jumped on and grabbed the microphone in the front.
At first this kind of freaked me out since I had no idea who she was, and up until this point the bus driver had been serving as the tour guide, but apparently this lady was the real guide and the other dude was just a driver who apparently was super knowledgeable about roads and goblins so he got to be the tour guide for that segment. With the real tour guide now on board we headed to some venue to see some kind of circus show at 10:00 in the morning. “A circus at 10? What the deuce?”
So anyhow we saw the most randomest circus ever. There were no animals, but a lot of acrobats and people swinging on stuff that was hanging from the ceiling. People swung on long red ribbons, and people swung on metal deals, and they swung on other people…it was out of control. There was also a lady that did hula hoop with many hula hoops! She had at least 8 hula hoops going at one time with various different parts of her body! It was a little bit amazing since I can barely do one hula hoop with my waist and here was this lady doing many hula hoops with various different parts of her body. The hula hoop lady and people swinging around and also the Chinese girls that should have been in school but instead were in Jeju doing tricks with paper lanterns were all pretty good, but the most excellent of excellent adventures were the motorcycle guys.
“Motorcycle guys?”
Yes, motorcycle guys. This event had not been introduced on the tour bus as a circus, but rather as a motorcycle show show show (the tour guide had repeated the word “show” three times when telling us about it), so when we arrived I half expected some guys on dirt bikes popping wheelies and doing things one might find in the game Excite Bike. Howdy was I wrong!
No wheelies were popped, but seven men on motorcycles got into a giant metal sphere and raced around like madmen…or maybe Mad Max. Anyhow the awesomeness is just too awesome for me to attempt to describe with either English or Korean or any language of the mortals. I guess it’s a lot like the concept of Tao in that there’s no way for normal people to talk about it. Or something…awesome! So instead of writing it was awesome a bunch of times, check it out yourself!
Now I’m well aware that there are fewer than seven mens inside the ball in the video, but the stunts they did when they were seven strong were not as amazing (though the fact that there were seven men and seven motorcycles in the ball was amazing on it’s own) as the moves they did when there were less than seven mens…so that’s the video I elected to post.
Anywho, after the motorcycle show we got on the bus again and drove again until we arrived at a park filled with minautre models of famous monuments. So in an hour I was able to take pictures infront of The Great Wall of China, The Effiel Tower, and the pyramids. It was kind of funny, but my wife said that there was a similar park in Seoul that had a better set up so it was easier to take more realistic looking photos. This park was good if you wanted to take pictures that made you look like some sort of Godzilla enemy, which is pretty much what I am! Also there were statues of cosmonauts and football players and the seven dwarves, so that was there too. At this park we were also given some manner of free lunch which was buffet style Korean food, meaning there was rice and kimchi and soup made of seaweed and some other stuff too.
Following lunch we boarded the bus and headed off to a tangerine farm. Jeju-do is pretty famous for citrus fruit, particularly tangerines, so apparently a trip to a tangerine farm is a must for every tour group to Jeju-do. I was a little less than enthralled since I don’t really care all that much about where fruit comes from and care about it even less when the tour becomes a sales pitch for some sort of oriental medicine. But this is life in a guided tour…so I held my tounge, ate free tangerines, and took some pictures in an orchard.
After the boring orchard we got back on a bus and drove to a park where we saw a waterfall. It was pretty nice, but I was more impressed with the presence of phonebooths shaped like 돌하르방. Actually I take that back the waterfall was more awesome than the phonebooths, but the phonebooths were pretty radical.
With our time at the waterfall behind us we got back on the bus and literally drove 300 meters before we were made to disembark and get on a boat. This boat was pretty similar to the boat that goes up and down the Han River in Seoul, only instead of going up and down a river it went out to sea. And instead of getting to see a lot of bridges and building we got to see a lot of small islands that were made out of volcanoes. The cruise was pretty decent, and the dude (he wasn’t a sea captain, but he had a sea captain uniform on) that told us what we were looking at was a hoot (and yes, I just used to phrase “a hoot” to describe a humorous person inspite of the fact that I was not born in the 1930s). So that happened.
Then we drove to some hotel where they filmed a scene in the movie 쉬리. There was also a beach there and some other junk like palm trees and an ice skating rink. Suddenly it was super dark so we couldn’t take good pictures anymore. At this point the tour was over for the day. We were planning on going to place called Love Land without the tour group, but it suddenly started raining like a mofo, so we went back to the hotel and ordered Chinese food and drank wine.
Here ends the adventures that transpired on the second day. If you want to see pictures, then click this link that is located here.
Previously on X-men…
Previously on this webpage I brought to your attention the Hyundai Comboy and it’s multitude of wonderful commercials. The advent of 16 bit graphics and more mighty video gaming systems was not a kiss of death for Hyundai’s foray into the world of video games. Hells no son! I give you SUPER COMBOY!!! Or at least I give you a pair of commercials that I’m sure caused some kids in this country to annoy the hell out of their parents. “엄마…슈퍼컴보이 사줘!!! 흑흑흑…” (Mom…buy me Super Comboy!!! Sob. Sob. Sob.)
This first spot features a couple of kids marveling over the sheer awesomeness of their new Super Comboy all while rocking out with some regional dialect.
The amount of royalties that Hyundai must have had to pay to make this commercial! I mean it features (in no particular order) characters from Dragon Ball, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Tiny Toons, Street Fighter, and Mario. To clear the usage of all those characters with their respective creators must have cost a fortune…oh hello Disney Daycare what are you doing here? Anyhow if you like cartoon characters, songs, and copyright infringement check out this ad!
I discovered completely by accident this truly bizarre Hyundai product. What I am about to present to you is the Hyundai Comboy (현대컴보이), which looks suprisingly similar to the Nintendo Entertainment System. Now the very existance of this item raises some questions for me. First off this thing is clearly labeled as a Hyundai product, yet all the games are clearly Nintendo games. So was this some sort of actual business arrangement or was Hyundai totally ripping off Nintendo’s shit? If you have any information regarding the Hyundai Comboy please let me know as these kind of things keep me awake at night.
This commercial features an oddly shaped cartoon Mario showing a family that really likes the color white how much fun they can have with a Comboy. Bonus points for the tune.
In this commerical a young boy’s depression is cured by a cartoon Mario and the arrival of a Hyundai Comboy. The commercial also alerts us to the existance of a Mini-Comboy (aka Gameboy).
A man is a costume ghoul of some sorts appears and tries to ruin a boy and girl’s Comboy based fun by chasing them through games like Super Mario Bros. 2 and The Legend of Zelda. Luckily there’s a cartoon Mario running about!
If you only watch one of these commercials, this is the one to see as it is clearly the most off the wall. Costume Koreans dance about and sing the virtues of a video game system.
On Wednesday November 29, 2006in the year of our lord Jinhui and I went to the zoo and saw all kinds of totally awesome animals. Additionally we saw some not so awesome animals too, but I didn’t take any pictures of them…only the awesome ones. These are the pictures of the awesome animals.
Of all the totally radical animals that we saw on this day (and did we see some radical animals believe you me) the two animals which were the most of them awesome were two animals that I had never heard of prior to this trip to the zoo. These animals were called: binturong and caracal respectively. Basically the existance of these two animals proved that there is something to the entire 음 and 양 (yin and yang for the rest of the world) concept. The binturong (this link was selected simply because the site is called Lioncrusher…which pretty much is totally awesome) was the most chillax animal that I have ever seen in my life. Basically the thing looks rediculous and was chilling out on some jungle gym deal, when I pointed at it and laughed and pretty much yelled, “You look redankulous binturong!” What did the binturong do? Get all pissed off and try to throw down on me? Hell no! The binturong jumped off his jungle gym and came up to the bars and was all like, “Check me out…I’m the fuckin’ binturong!” That was cool as him. His face was rediculous and he was a chill dude. I would have liked to have a brew with him, but I didn’t. Anyhow binturong is cool and relaxed and apparently smells like popcorn…but I don’t really know about that since I didn’t sniff him. Anyhow…
If the binturong was the chillest animal ever, the caracal was the ragin’-est. This dude would get totally pissed off about nothing. I didn’t laugh at his face or anything and he started screaming at me and junk. You don’t believe me? Check out this out of control footage!
He was all like “Heeeeest! Heeeeeest!” Asshole! Nah, I take that back. He was cool too, but in a totally different way. I’d like to drink some brews with binturong, but if I was in a street fight with weapons I would totally want caracal to have my back.
Anyhow this writing is getting less than awesome because I still have a stupid cast on my right hand. So I’m calling it quits now. Look at the pictures if you want to look at other awesome animals like elephants and tigers and white tigers and ostriches and stuff like that.
Taekwon V is a robot. A giant robot that is. When he’s not busy beating down Japanese sterotypes he stars in old school giant robot cartoons. Today we have the theme song to Taekwon V. Check it out yo!
Unless you live in a cave or haven’t been born yet you probably know of North Korea’s claims that it successfully tested a nuclear weapon. I told you on several occassions that I don’t do politics, or current events here (unless it involves sex, animal attacks, pop singers, or some combination of the three), but once again I’m going to break with tradition, and not only talk about current events, but also editorialize. Humorous anecdotes about my life will return shortly.
Dear President Bush & Posse,
Hi, my name is Wyatt. You probably don’t know me, but I have some information that you might find crucial in the days to come. Before you rush into anything like a landed assault on North Korea as a result of their little chemistry experiment, I think you should check out the following video.
Dude did you see that? They strapped cement wheels to their face and got them smashed with sledge hammers. That means their faces are tough enough to withstand both have a cement wheel strapped to it and a sledge hammer blow. And the ninja stars?! Seriously let’s not fuck with these guys. In some ways this video footage scares the shit out of me more than the fact that they have might actually have nukes now. But it’s not my job to tell you how to do your job…I think that’s your job. So let me just leave it at this: Do you really want to have to brawl guys with cement wheels on their faces, and if you do, could you please approve my wife’s visa faster so I can get off this pennisula before you chose to do so?
I’m taking a break from the normal rocking jams I hit you upside the head with to bring you a Korean pop video. Now before all the fans of BoA or H.O.T. start going ape-shit and proclaiming their love for various dudes, I should warn you that thie is 1980’s Korean pop music. For those of you old enough to remember pop music from the US or Europe in the 1980s take that and move it to Korea and add shirts with frills…then you’ve pretty much got the jist of this video.
The song is called “어젯밤 이야기” (”Last Night’s Story”) and the group is 소방차 (Firetruck). Take it away boys!
I now know what K-1 fighter, Mr. Shark does to train for big matches…he beats up on members of Korean boy bands. This here is the music video for the song, “별책부록” by the lads in NRG featuring Mr. Shark…and underground fighting.
Editor’s Note: And as a quick aside, my family is arriving in Korea in like 8 hours, so posts of any sort of substance are going to be far less frequent for the duration of their visit.
The weekend rolled around again, and once more I was up to my eyeballs in wedding related adventures. Saturday morning began with a trip into the city with my wife, sister-in-law, and father-in-law. The crux of the trip was a visit to the hanbok shop. For you see, several weeks back the wife and I had ordered some hanboks and they were allegedly ready to be worn as was my sister-in-law’s. My father-in-law had to place an order and had the wheels so he came with us.
The trip into Seoul was fairly unremarkable, though I did learn that my sister-in-law hates the saxophone, though no reason was ever given as for why exactly she loathed it. Anyhow after the drive in we met up at the shop and after selecting some colors for my father-in-law’s hanbok, the rest of us went into another building to try on the hanbok.
For those of you that have never worn a hanbok, the pictures don’t really do justice to just how roomy the pants are (I can only speak for the male hanbok, since I didn’t wear the female one). I could seriously gain 150 pounds and still be able to wear the same hanbok I have now. Anyhow the hanboks were all in order, and my sister-in-law’s boyfriend snapped a couple pictures for us (I particularly enjoy the fact that I’m sporting sneakers in the pictures), and then we went back to the first building to pay and get some bonus gifts…at least the women did. They were given handbags, shoes, hanbok underwear, and so on. I got nothing.
From there we all parted ways. The wife and I headed to 인사동 because she had to meet a friend and give said friend a wedding invitation. I had to kill some time alone so I grabbed some lunch, bought a couple CDs, and then checked out the 농악 (or whatever version of Korean traditional percussion I actually saw) in 인사동. If you have no idea of what I speak, check the short film I shot located below.
Now if rockin’ traditional drumming is not awesome enough, there was that made this event even more awesome. At the end of the drum performance, a woman got on the microphone and declared that now there would be free 떡 (ddeok / rice cakes) and 막걸리 (makkoli / rice wine). Free food, as everyone knows, is just about the most awesome thing ever, but free alcohol?! That’s like awesomeness to the nth degree. So I sat on some bench and drank alcohol with old men and homeless guys…it was pretty awesome. At about that time the wife called me to let me know that her meeting was over and we could carry on with our wedding shopping.
So we walked from Insadong over to Myeong-dong to go shopping for shoes…for me. While shopping the wife confessed to me, “Shopping must be so boring for men…look at these shoes you have two choices: black and brown…they all look the same.” Yet somehow we still couldn’t find any decent footwear. A big part of this was the fact that very few stores carry shoes large than the size 275 (which is not really a size that fits me well). Eventually we scored a pair of shoes, and then did some non-wedding related shopping before calling it a night and heading home. So for those of you keeping track at home: hanboks and complete and shoes are complete. Next Week: studio wedding photos!
Long before Bae Yong-joon (배용준) transformed into Japanese superhero Yong-sama (ヨン様), he was just a guy walking around cold and hungry. The year was 1994, and on a bitter winter’s eve Yong-sama and his buddy were attempting to score some ramyeon and perhaps some beret wearing ladies. Anyway, this commercial raises one important question in my mind, and that is: Is this guy ever not wearing a sweater and scarf combo?
This past Friday (May 5th, 2006), in South Korea, there were not one, but two national holidays: Children’s Day (어린이날) and Buddha’s Birthday (부처님 오신날). Due to these holidays, neither 진희 nor I had any work to do. Therefore, we reserved some bus tickets to the southern reaches of the Korean Peninsula.
The day started for us at the crack of dawn. The bus we were taking to Busan left the bus terminal at 6:30 in the morning, so we were up at 5:00. Showers were taken, final packing was done, and then we were on our way to Busan. We walked to a bus stop. We took a bus from the stop to the subway station. We took the subway to the express bus terminal, and from the terminal we were off to Busan. The trip from Bundang to Busan was completely uneventful. The wife and I slept most of the way there, save for the short period during which the bus pulled into a rest area for a quick potty / eat stuff on a stick break.
Approximately five hours later we were at the bus terminal in Busan. It wasn’t long before my ears were assaulted with the local regional dialect. I am still amazed that a country as geographically small as Korea can have such diverse and different dialects from region to region. I suppose that the different regional dialects can be attributed to the mountainous geography of the country. Anyhow back to Busan’s dialect…I personally found it extremely difficult to understand and had to really focus to understand what people were saying. It’s really difficult to explain it, so I’ll turn your attention to this here website explaining the dialect of the area.
From the terminal we got on a subway train and headed towards Haeundae (해운대), a beach area. The subway system in Seoul is much easier to use than its counterpart in Busan. The Busan system seemed to have only three different lines, with very few stations at which one could transfer. Additionally the subway trains seemed to be much more narrow and definately shorter than those in Seoul. None of this was really a problem, since we got from point A to point B (b is for beach) with no problems what-so-ever.
Haeundae was simply amazing. The entire area had a very laid back and relaxing vibe (good God I sound like such a hippie). Due to the fact that the beach area was surrounded by large buildings and such, Haeundae and the surrounding area kind of reminded me of Repulse Bay in Hong Kong. 진희 said she was reminded of San Fransisco for the same reason.
After a walk on the beach and a quick snack of the regional delicacy, 어묵 / 오뎅(ohmook / odeng) we decided to head to the nearby area known as 달맞이길 (Moon Viewing Road).
Inspite of the fact that we visited the Moon Viewing Road in the middle of the afternoon, the place was still quite nice. Basically it was a walkway up a hill, and at the top of the hill there was a pavilion overlooking the ocean. All in all it was really quite pretty. After seeing the lack of a moon at the summit of the Moon Viewing Road, we decided to head back into the city proper and then onward to an island in the south where there were ferry rides. So we jumped on a bus and took off for further adventure.
BUSAN FUN FACT: Just as there is a brand of milk known as Seoul Milk which can be purchased in Seoul, Busan has a similarly named milk. Dubbed Busan Milk (or 부산우유 in Korean) it is virtually identical to all other milk. As a quick aside, Seoul Milk is also sold in Busan.
After a quick bus ride we disembarked near Busan station and began making our way towards Taejongdae (태종대), the afore mentioned island with ferry rides. As we walked we asked various citizens of Busan for directions, all of them responding with vague, “It’s that way. No, it’s not too far,” type directions. So we walked and walked. We went past the area dubbed 상해문 (上海門 / Shanghai Gate), which inspite having a Chinese theme going on with the street lights was extremely Russian (all manner of Cyrillic signs were there). We walked past the dry fish market with a sign with a giant cartoon character squid statue attached to it. Oh what smells rose from that area! We crossed a bridge. On and on we walked. “That way! Not more than 10 minutes!”
Apparently Busan residents have some sort of The Flash-esque speed going on since after walking a good five kilometers or so, we gave up and got on a bus. The bus to the island took approximately 15 minutes. Anyhow we unfortunately arrived a little to late to ride the ferry since the stop running at 6:00 in the evening. Therefore instead of riding on a ship, we sat on a dock and took some more photos. After a short period of looking at waves, we decided to head back towards the city and stop in and have dinner at a fish market.
Vegetarians, animal rights activists, and those of you that can not stand the thought of consuming sea creatures, please skip this next Busan Fun Fact.
BUSAN FUN FACT: In Busan (and perhaps other coastal areas in Korea) it is possible, and fully legal to eat whale meat (which is exactly what the picture to the right is a picture of). That’s right, while in Busan I chowed down upon Shamu. So how does whale taste? Great! It doesn’t have a real fishy taste to it, and it’s not quite a meat taste. It’s kind of hard to explain. The blubber is kind of buttery tasting, and the skin is really chewy. The only draw back to whale meat is the cost. The small plate shown in the picture cost 20,000 won (roughly $20US).
Ok…it’s safe to come back now! In addition to the above, we also had some extremely fresh 회 (raw fish). Submitted for your approval is the following video of our dinner plate.
That pink, moving stuff on the plate is 해삼 (海蔘 / haesam) also known as a sea cucumber.
With dinner out of the way we decided to check out the area known as 용두산공원 (龍頭山公園 / Dragon Head Mountain Park). This park is the home of the Busan Tower and is very similar to 남산 (南山 / South Mountain) in Seoul…only there were palm trees, a statue of 이순신, and a statue of a dragon with a light in its mouth. On the mountain, 진희 and I had a soft drink and looked out over the night skyline of Busan. When we decided that we had had enough, we got on a subway train and headed back towards the bus terminal to get a room for the night. Since we had to be on a bus out of the city early the next morning, we thought it would be best to stay near the bus terminal.
We ended up staying in a fairly sleazy place. It was the kind of hotel where the only things on the television were Japanese porno films (and to the person that left a comment about 현영 voice, I know now what you were talking about when you brought up porn from the land of the rising sun). Anyhow we drank some brews and then headed off to sleep. Thus concludes day one of our southern pilgrimage.
The complete photo set can be located here, in the event that you wish to examine other photographs of my wife and I in the city of 부산.
I don’t know why, but for some reason vapid Korean talent, 현영 (Hyeon Young or however you wish to Romanize that name), bugs the hell out of me. I mean there are countless other actors, singers, and gagman…oh don’t get me started on the gagman, who are as annoying if not more annoying than Miss Hyeon. Additionally Miss Hyeon has something a lot of the other celebrities (again, particularly the gagman) do not, and that is quasi-decent looks.
All that aside, there is something about her that just bugs me to no end. Actually I wish to retract my earlier statement that I don’t know exactly why I detest this woman. I know exactly the reason why, and that reason is quite simply her voice. She has that kind of voice that I can’t stand (no not the six year old kid that sounds like he smokes 3 packs of Newports a day and when he speaks it makes you want to clear your throat): the “I’m trying so hard to sound cute, that I’m going to make myself sound like a retarded six year old girl, when in reality I’m a 30 year old woman voice.”
Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard, and everytime that I hear her speak I want to stick sharp objects in my ears. I think the reason that I am so bothered by her voice is the fact that it is a total affectation. For some reason people, I’m not going to name any names, are under the impression that this kind of voice is cute, so Hyeon Young plays it up. In all fairness, she is not the only one in this nation that does so. A quick walk through a larger supermarket, and you will hear countless women using their kindergarten / cartoon character “cute” voice, summoning you to come and try various products. But none of those women are famous!
Anyhow here is a quick clip of Hyeon Young in action. However, I must warn you, she’s super annoying. Please be careful!
Hyeon Young is the woman on the running machine, talking about how her breasts hurt because she wasn’t wearing a bra. As a quick aside this is quite possibly the most risque thing I have encountered on television in Korea.
This commercial is utterly sureal. Bizarre shark puppet attacks kids and moms partying on a raft at the beach which prompts the kids to chow down on shark shaped frozen treats. This commercial from the 1980s is for the 죠스바 brand popsicle, which is still avalible in the mean streets of Korea (though at a price slightly higher than the ￦100 that is shown on the bar in the commercial). Like every vintage commercial I’ve come across this ad features the He-man yelling, “I HAVE THE POWER”-esque reverb on all vocals.
I remember reading somewhere (most likely an ESL textbook that I was teaching from) about the how pizza differs from country to country, and how each country puts their own unique spin on pizza toppings. So I decided that I would do some sort of investigative reporting expose on some of the more unusual (from an America perspective) pizza toppings that I have seen here in Korea.
We kick things off with this advertisement I found taped to my door many moons ago. The pizza on top is not really that special…your standard issue, cheese crust heart attack pan pizza. I wish to bring the lower pizza to your attention. That’s right, “Chili Dog” pizza. And here I was thinking that America had the most heart attack inducing pizza toppings in the world. Hot dogs and hot chili sauce on a pizza. Where do I sign up?
Next up we have cute as hell 문근영 (Moon Geun-Young) in a television for Mister Pizza. This particular ad features Miss Moon playing the role of a reporter discussing Mister Pizza’s latest offering Shrimp Nude Pizza. The commercial itself shows that someone in the company (or at least the ad company that created the ad) realized the name of this pizza is slightly rediculous. The pizza itself is also fairly rediculous as it features cream cheese and shrimp as toppings.
Here we have a pizza menu (again taped to my door many moons ago) showing some of the more popular pizza toppings here in South Korea. In addition to things such as cheese and pepperoni there are offerings such as 마요감자 (mayo and potato), 가지 (eggplant), 콘 (corn), 포테이토 (”potato” actual steak fries), and 고구마 (sweet potato).
And last but certainly not least there was this advertisement (again taken off my front door long ago in a galaxy far, far away). While this ad does not offer up any other unusually pizza toppings, it does confirm that both potato and sweet potato are a common enough topping to be offered by several different delivery services. In addition, I personally like this menu due to the fact they each pizza was given it’s own cute mascot. Oh they are so cute!
I was unaware of the fact that Chow Yun-Fat (周潤發 / 주윤발) could speak Korean. You were too? Well he can, and he does, here in this 1989 commercial for that most insane of all junk food, Milkis. For those not in the know, Milkis is a carbonated milk beverage, that tastes surprisingly good. Anyhow if you like Hong Kong action stars, the 1980s, helicopters, the Korean language, and carbonated milk beverages, definately check this commercial out.
Today’s nostalgia from a country I only recently started living in, and a time that I never lived through ever, is this 1970s commercial for 오뚜기 brand curry. I particularly enjoy this commercial due to the fact that for a good 2 years or so I lived on this stuff, since it’s incredibly easy to prepare (as is clearly evident in the commercial). Only since my marriage has 오뚜기 curry gone from being a staple food to that special treat. “Tonight’s curry night?! Awesome!” Also it’s nice to know that 漢字 were still widely enough in use as to appear in a commercial geared towards housewives circa 1975.
Hey hey! It’s music video time again kids! Today we have the latest video from Korean indie band Sugar Donut. This video is the first single of their second full length album which is either coming out shortly or perhaps already out now…since I got married and moved out of Seoul, I have not really been keeping up on things such as rock and or roll. Anyhow enjoy some rockin’ from the lads in Sugar Donut.
I am offically a geek. Instead of speading a perfectly decent Friday night getting trashed on the stuff, I spent it seeking out this 1959 (or possibly 1960 since netizens did not seem to be in agreement) animated spot for 眞露소주 (Jinro Soju). Perhaps I’m not a geek and I’m just someone that doesn’t feel like turning into some sort of Bluto / Brutus rip-off. Anyhow, enjoy.
I enjoy myself some Chinese epic literature…it makes me feel smarter than I actually am. So as a good scholar I’ve taken it upon myself to read the classics. I’ve read 三國志 (Romance of the Three Kingdoms), 肉蒲團 (The Carnal Prayer Mat), and of course 西遊記 (Journey to the West). In all fairness, I’ve not read any of them in Chinese…though I have read two of the three (三國志 and 西遊記) in Korean for what that’s worth. Anyhow of those texts I would have to rank Journey to the West as my personal favorite. It’s the right mixture of humor and adventure and avoids getting into men undergoing surgery to have dog penises attached to their own manhood (Carnal Prayer Mat…I’m talking about you buddy!)
So I’ve read the book in English and Korean, and I’ve seen some of the television adaptions, all of which have been fairly enjoyable. So imagine my surprise when the other morning I came across a local Korean animated version of the tale.
Originating in the late 80s or early 90s, 날아라 슈퍼보드 (Flying Superboard) takes the story of 손오공 and his posse and gives them some slight modifications. For starters 손오공 (孫悟空 / Monkey) no longer has control of a cloud on which he can fly, but instead is equipped with some sort of magical skateboard on which he can fly. Additionally instead of a magical staff, he has a pair of nunchucks…in all the episodes I’ve seen it’s not really clear if these nunchucks are magical, or just cooler.
손오공 still travels with 저팔계 (豬八戒 / Pig), who is still a stupid, greedy, glutton. Unlike the original character this version does not do combat with a rake, instead he’s equipped with a bazooka…seriously. How GI Joe is that?! Like 저팔계, 사오정 (沙悟凈 / Sand Monster) differs primarily in his weaponry. While 손오공 and 저팔계 may have gotten weapons upgrades, this version of 사오정 is weilding a pair of 뿅뿅이망치, and that’s just weak. In addition to this, the characters all haul ass all over the place in a badass jeep machine, that looks like it could very well have been a GI Joe vehicle.
So while traditionalists might be put off by these changes, I for one am willing to let them slide, especially when you take into consideration the awesomeness of the opening theme song. That’s right, like all good cartoons, 날아라 슈퍼보드 has a kick ass theme song. A kick ass theme song I’ve gone to the trouble of presenting here. Take it away my uploaded Youtube file!
And because I love you all, as a super special bonus here are 13 episodes you can watch at home. But since I don’t love you that much the episodes are all in the lowest possible quality Real Media form. MWAHAHAHA!
Long time readers of this here webpage, or residents of Korea may already know of Mr. Lee Jun-gi (이준기), and how handsome he is. So I don’t really find it odd at all that companies want to get him to endorse their products. I mean he has an army of middle school aged girls waiting to obey his every command. What I don’t understand is why the producers of this commercial elected to have him sing. His voice is pretty awful. So awful is it that I can accurately immitate it (I am a horrible singer as well), and my wife cringes and either immediately changes the channel or leaves the room when it comes on the television. Anyhow…the commercial might be horrible, but the juice is not that bad. Apparently I am a pretty girl.
And here are you vocabulary words of the day. Be sure to study them as there will be a test next week.
미녀 (美女) - a pretty woman
석류 (石榴) - a pomegranate
좋아하다 - to like
Sample sentence: 미녀는 석류를 좋아해. Pretty girls like pomegranate.
I don’t understand alot of Korean television. I mean, I understand the words coming out of the actors and actress’ mouths, but I don’t get the appeal of some of it. I don’t really understand how people jumping up and down screaming the same catchphrase week after week can be seen as funny to anyone other than some kindergarten students, yet that is exactly what most comedy programs here consist of. And then there are the dramas. While there are a couple shining stars in the realm of Korean drama, there’s also a lot of crap…and I mean a lot of crap.
So with that being said I don’t really watch much television. There are a couple game shows I’ll check out if only to see celebrities making asses of themselves for no reason, and there have been some mini-series and short lived sitcoms I have enjoyed, but recently I came across a program that I know has existed at least as long as I’ve been here, but never really watched until recently. That show is SBS’s outstanding show about animals entitled TV 동물농장 (TV Animal Farm).
By watching this show I realized a universal truth about humanity. While humor and what is funny will differ from culture to culture, all people find animals doing stupid things to be funny, aside from jerks in PETA who would probably have a sense of outrage at the things protrayed in this show. While a lot of American shows about wildlife are funny because of the hosts (Crocodile Hunter I’m talking to you buddy), TV 동물농장 has the animals on center stange to showcase their insanity.
The other thing I like about this particular show is that it’s not all wild and crazy animals. I mean some weeks there will be stories about zebras or elephants running roughshod on African mango farmers crops, but other times it will be about a dog that has some odd talent, or some woman’s pet cats. And then there was the story that really served as the impoteus for this post: the story of 스모모 (Sumomo).
Sumomo is a monkey that comes to us via the land of Hello Kitty and nasal abuse pornography, Japan. For reasons not fully explained the keepers of Sumomo have trained him to go shopping while accompanied by a pitbull. A pitbull which serves double duty as pack mule, and occassionally monkey stead. I don’t care what country you live in, a monkey buying cigarettes out of a vending machine is funny stuff.
You don’t believe me? Included below are two short clips of Sumomo in action. Additionally if any people living in Japan have any information on Sumomo (mainly how to write correctly write his name in Japanese) please feel free to drop some comments.
This clip explains Sumomo’s mission: to walk 5 kilometers to a supermarket and buy two bananas. He is distracted by an arcade before begining his trek.
This clip features Sumomo heading for the supermarket. He stops at a vending machine for a cold beverage, but accidently gets a pack of cigarettes. Finally he arrives at the shop and successfully completes his mission.
So after providing you with some random crap music from North Korea yesterday, today I thought it would behove me to present to you some South Korean tunes. No, this is not like other times when I presented videos that were nearly painful. Today I present unto you some fine Korean indie rock brought to you by the lads (and lass) of 몽니 (Monni). The following video was recorded at the 2005 Ssamzie Sound Festival. Enjoy kids!
Do you ever find yourself at karaoke night in Pyeongyang, North Korea, with no idea what to sing? Perhaps you are the kind of music fan that must stop liking a band the minute more than three people have heard of them, and at present have no artist to follow. Today we here at Kimchi & Me offer solutions to both these problems. Enjoy, “림진강” as sung by 조청미. For those of you looking for a tune to impression your communist hosts in the North, the tune comes complete with sing-a-long lyrics. For those ironic indie music fans, I can promise you in all certainty that no one you will ever encounter has heard of this tune (unless of course they too are Kimchi & Me readers…or former North Korea residents). So anyhow…Comrades, let us sing for a strong nation!
Oh how I hate Gwyneth Paltrow, let me count the ways! For starters, she is Cameron Diaz only instead of being a dumb blonde, she is a self-righteous dumb blonde. To quote the great sage and poet of our times, MC Hammer, “You think you’re better than me? That’s foolish!”
Next up, she’s married to the asshole from Coldplay, which has to be the most retarded band ever. “Hi, we are in Coldplay, we make the same album of bland, inoffensive ‘rock’ again and again, and morons keep buying it!”
Lately, for some reason, Mrs. “I Breed With a Member of Coldplay” has become quite the corporate whore. First she accepted a multimillion dollar deal with the manufactures of iPods, and Apple ][, Apple Computers to name her unholy spawn of Coldplay, Apple, and now here in Korea I have to see her face all over television and the sides of buses, whoring herself for a clothing company named Beanpole.
I’d not heard of Beanpole prior to moving to Korea, and I have my doubts about Beanpole being a truly the “international” company as it’s webpage claims it is (since all searches I’ve done only turn up results for Korean pages). So perhaps Mrs. “I’m Cameron Diaz But Will Make You Feel Guilty About Looking At My Ass” Paltrow, thinks that she can fly under the radar, make some quick greenbacks (or won since this is Korea), and still act like she’s a serious actress who is seriously about her “craft.”
Well, fuck you Gwyneth, I’m on to you! And now the 12 people who read this website and live outside of Korea will be on to you too! Behold, the commercials!
I don’t know who the dude is, but hopefully he too is someone that takes their “craft” really seriously so people can yell about him being a “sellout” for appearing in these commercials.
I have a class consisting of three kindergarten aged girls, and for some reason last week I taught them the chorus for the classic 80’s hard rock tune, “We’re Not Gonna Take It!” by your friends and mine, Twisted Sister.
He’s not gonna take it! No! He ain’t gonna take it!
Today, we here at Kimchi & Me enter the fast pace world of the late 90’s internet technology. I bring you a 6M Mpeg file of Korean girls bellowing about fighting the power 80’s hard rock style (with some vocal cues from me).
So enjoy the vocal stylings of Alice, Sammy, and Kate (featuring Wyatt).
Look at this picture. What’s the first thing that comes to mind? Racist? Definately. Crude? I’ll give you that. Outdated? That’s right. World War 2 was a different time. Gone are the days of protraying enemies in the crudest possible stereotypes. There are not political cartoons in the west featuring Muslims buttfucking camels or bradishing scimitars while buttfucking camels. But not so fast! Take a gander at this!
WTF? Is that a CGI “Jap?” Why yes it is! I recently came across this animated spot, the latest in the one sided battle for 독도 (Dokdo). The spot starts off with a fleet of Japanese invaders led by some ethnic stereotypes. Their fleet is made up of warships from the 1600s and World War 2 era fighter planes.
The fleet gets a tad too close to Dokdo and someone hits the “red button.” These crude stereotypes start quaking in their sumo loinclothes, fearing what is about to come. What is it? Nukes? The mighty Yi Sun-shin?
FUCK! It’s Taekwon V! Korea’s blantant ripoff of the Japanese giant robot Manzinger Z (right down to pointless use of a Roman letter) arises from between the two rocks that make up Dokdo ready to kick some fuckin’ Japanese ass. And kick ass he does! Taekwon V is able to ravage the entire Japanese fleet with a single spin hook kick.
And if that isn’t enough some seagulls take a shit on the Japanese leader’s face. That will teach ‘em to have provincial minority parties make claims over some rocks! Having saved the day again, Taekwon V rips Dokdo from the sea and hold them aloft (like He-man and his magic sword…only infinately more juvenille), proclaim that “Today, too, Dokdo is the ideal.”
Anyhow, Korea(ns) I don’t dispute your claims over 독도, but if you want anyone to take you seriously and listening to you, you’ve gotta start going about things with a little more class, a little more diplomacy, and a lot less racism.
This morning during my pre-work, stare at random crap on TV while I use the internet time, I came across a odd Korean music video. The song itself was nothing spectacular, some random Korean techno-pop brought to us by 신지 of Korean techno-pop group Koyote fame, but some of the images displayed in the video were pretty bizarre.
I’m not sure what the video is for, it kind of looks like some soundtrack work for some cartoon, but that’s not the issue here. The biggest question to arise out of this video is what “yogurting” is. Seriously why is a noun being treated as a nominalized verb? It’s like, “Hey Wyatt can you come out to the club tonight?” “No sorry, I’m really busy tonight.” “With what?” “I’m busy yogurting.”
Today I was deleting a lot of old emails in my various e-mail accounts when I came across this awesome link my friend had sent me. It had been something I had seen when I was still living in America, and probably is a more accurate answer in regards to what I’m doing in this country. Sure I did want to experience living in another country/culture, and I do want to learn the Korean language, but let’s face facts, things like this are the real reasons why I live in Korea.
That’s right! I wanted some delicious instant noodles….jeez what were you thinking, perverts.
